I Remember.... Do You?

_Tay_

Do you remember back then? Back when you were, you know.... heavier?
I remember.

I've lose 30lbs so far (about 20 on MFP). But I remember that weight.
Yea I remember.

I remember my chubby cheeks taking over every photo I was in.
I remember.

I remember the day I tried on every.single.pair.of.jeans.I.owned. (about 15 pairs) And none of them fit. None of them buttoned. None
I remember.

I remember buying two sizes up and convincing myself the store started making the sizes smaller.
I remember.

I remember eating, and not thinking. Just eating the delicious food, as if I wouldn't get such a great meal ever again.
I remember.

I remember my arms feeling tight in a long sleeved shirt.
I remember.

I remember refusing to see my weight was a problem.


Yea. I remember a lot.
What do you remember?

divacat80

I remember covering every mirror in my house just to not to have to look at myself reflected. I still try to keep myself from them but I don't hate what I see anymore.

I remember having to photoshop every single picture that was taken with me in it, just to make the fatty rolls a tiny bit more concealed and less noticeable.

I remember the skin sores and rashes underneath every fatty roll, and the friction rashes in between my legs.

I remember buying jeans and having to buy new ones after just two months because they were worn out in the tigh area.

I remember when people could only see the fat around my body and they couldn't see me.

I remember when I felt my wardrobe consisted only in tents and larger tents instead of clothes.

I remember when I was always pat down at airport security checks to make sure I wasn't hiding any weapons and not believing the security officers when they were just choosing random people to pat down.

I remember when my feet and knees hurt like hell on earth from the moment i got up from the bed or a chair until i went back to sit down or lie down on them.

And i remember so many other situations!

_Tay_

great post!
Enjoyed reading your memories...

skywa

I remember avoiding the mirror because seeing myself, and the way i looked, made me anxious.

I remember stepping on the scale for the first time in over a year at a doctors visit and litterally being SICKENED by the sight of my own weight.

I remember wearing layers and layers of cloths and never going to the beach even though i live in ****ing Hawaii.

I remember feeling terribly insecure in every relationship i've ever been in.

_Tay_

mirrors made me anxious too.
YES- the god damn scale at the doctors. Because you KNEW it was accurate.

Great Post. Thanks for participating.

MissKalhan

I remember the kids who would constantly tease me for being "the fat awkward kid".
I remember dreading gym classes and blaming my asthma for why I wasn't active.
I remember have to move from juniors clothing to ladies at age 10 so the pants wold fit properly.
I remember sneaking food from the closet because i was ALWAYS hiding my emotions in food.
I remember crying when I was 15 because I officially hit 200 pounds.
Never again.

californiagirl2012

Yup I remember all that as well as being athletic and not understanding why when I worked my butt off at the gym lifting, and running marathon after marathon and still gaining weight thinking this is NOT FAIR! I know I'm athletic but I do not look like it. The last straw was someone calling me a fat *kitten* over and over and even though it was not a nice thing to say to me it was true and I knew it. That day made me so mad that I faced the truth, embarked on the journey, and became successful against many odds especially at my age.

It is a hard journey, no easy way through, no magic pill, good days and bad days, but it is SO WORTH IT.

todd6977

I remember being called the fat kid in school
I remember eating fast food all the time
I remember not knowing what a vegatable was
I remember drinking alot of Mt, Dew
I remember I CAN DO THIS!!

_Tay_

Gym. Yes. who couldn't remember that. Awful.
Yep, forget juniors, i too subsided to womens, at age 12 for me.

thanks for the post. Great points!

Phaedra2014

Unlike you, I remember when I weighed 90 pounds and ate normally.

_Tay_

californiagirl, you are such an inspiration. I LOVE people like you. Keep up the fantastic work

_Tay_

fastfood. HA. I remember .. oh yes, I remember you.

_Tay_

oh no, you are wrong my friend. I remember weighing MUCH less, and eating normal too. I had those days, although they are far behind me now. But I do remember

clijun

i remeber trying not to remember my childhood.

thescrumisfun

I remember being called fat; I remember eating food off the ground in fourth grade; I remember being lectured about my weight and eating habits, but the people never changed their own; I remember family member's "she has such a pretty face but..."; I remember that basically every school clothes shopping resulted in fights and crying; I remember that my mom told me my butt looked like an atomic bomb went off while wearing a plaid dress; I remember thinking no one would want me because of my size; I remember never being asked to dances; I remember being too afraid to play the sports I love because of my size.

I also remember my freshman year, when I joined my university's rugby team, and met some of the most supportive and accepting people I have ever come across . If not for them and rugby, I wouldn't be where I am today. I am not the person I was thirty pounds ago, and I plan to never be that person again.

HealthyGinny

I remember using my arms to hide my belly, my hair to hide my round cheeks, my clothes to hide my body, my smile to hide my discomfort.

I remember dreading going to the mall with my girlfriends because they would go, try on clothes and buy a bunch of cute outfits and I would only come back with make-up and earrings because the clothes didn't fit me.

I remember never going to the beach with my family, never wearing shorts/skirts/tight shirts, never wanting to be on pictures because I (still) don't like my body.

I remember hating the scale more than anything ever although it's just an object.

I remember all the teasing and bullying and thinking "well, they're mean but they do have a point after all".

I remember seeing cute guys but never even trying to talk to them or look them in the eye because what's the point anyway?

I remember tons of other things but most of all, I remember I'm not done with my journey so I'm not giving up. Ever.

lcloyd7121

I remember being thin and being able to eat what I wanted.
I remember struggling to understand why people needed to diet as I never gained weight.

AND THEN:

I remember when I started gaining weight as the doctors started trying to adjust medicine so I could live a "normal" life
I remembered saying, things will go back to how they have always been

AND THE WORST:

I remember staying away from the camera when it came to picture time. I would take the pictures instead of being in them - there are very few that my kids can look back on (it saddens me to think about this).
I now have regrets but the worst one is keeping photograph memories from my kids.

Chigger56

I remember breathing hard just doing normal things. I remember waking myself up from snoring. I remember having to try on clothes at home to find something that didnt make me look *too fat*. I remember having to almost be a catortionist (sp?) When I needed to wipe my butt. (Sorry but its true) I remember walking by the coolers at work and seeing my reflection in the glass and noticing how my butt stuck out and made me look like I wasnt standing up straight. I remember. And I am NEVER going back!!

risenonlytofall

I remember being "cute" but never beautiful.

I remember hating how squishy my stomach, hips and thighs were. I remember avoiding cameras, buying clothes two or three sizes too big, and obsessing over what other people were thinking about me every time I went out in public.

I remember hating myself because puberty had ruined me instead of making me attractive like all of my friends.

I remember buying into the idea that I wasn't athletic because I hated team sports, that I would always be weak because I was female, and that I was born average and would die average.

yo_andi

I remember asking my fiance what his favorite physical feature of mine was... he answered your hands, and everything from your neck up. I remember my heart breaking. I remember making excuses at footy practice, saying I was injured, when really I was just out of shape, and not strong enough to snap and make a change yet. I remember my captain saying to the other girls, while I was in earshot, "well, Andi's not exactly the kind of ambassador we want for this team". I remember cringeing, then feeling butthurt, but not getting angry. I remember a woman arguing with me on the T that I should take the seat because clearly I am pregnant.

I remember getting the call that I made the reserves for the national team, on the condition that I get in shape. I remember getting serious and never looking back.

Thanks for sharing your memories. You're all my heroes.

Gennybunny96

I remember: wasting my 20's while my friends were all shopping for club wear and I was the frumpy mom
I remember: walking for 30 mins and being out of breath and my hips hurting so bad I had to lie on the couch for the rest of the day.
I remember: going to bed so sick because I overstuffed myself all day and felt like I was going to throw up.
I remember: how tired I felt everyday.

I also remember: being a size 5 and never having my feet hurt from walking in the mall
I remember: the way my husband would look at me with such passion when I was healthy

I know this will not happen over night and it will be a struggle and I will do this!

iluvprettyshoes

I remember:
Not being able to run for a minute without feeling like i was dying
Not knowing what to do in the gym weight room
Being unable to buy tops to fit
Having more than one chin in a picture
weighing the equivalent of what I weighed when I was pregnant
Having to wear spankx with everything

kenazfehu

...my daughter catching me meticulously pulling all the photos of me out of the new photography package and destroying them. She reminded me that she might like to look back at what life was like in high school and seeing pictures of me as I was during that time in her life.

(now that we have a digital camera, I still make sure I don't delete every picture of me)

TheNEWMonicaB

I remember "hugging" a pillow when relaxing on the couch at home because I wanted to hide the stomach that was much bigger when i was sitting down.

I remember wearing so many layers of Spanx or spandex under my clothes so that I would look "thinner" and being so uncomfortable and sweaty that I could not enjoy myself and only wanted to come home and get undressed.

I remember when mybeautiful 3 year old daughter innocently and honestly asked me why my stomach was so big when we were in the shower one day. I remember smiling instead of crying and telling her that mommy needs to lose a little weight and get healthier. It was like a knife to my heart to know that she noticed that part of me, but sadly, not enough for me to get off my *kitten* and do something 3 years ago. I NEVER want weight to be an issue for her.

I remember (and still experience) using my hair dryer to dry out the crease underneath my belly and put powder on to keep from getting a rash. It is humiliating and disgusting and I hope it goes away completely once I am down some more weight. I will take some loose skin on my belly any day in comparison to that. Can't believe I let myself exist like that.

I remember hating EVERY single picture I was in... Especially my double chin and all the weight in my midsection. Side angles were the absolute worst! Even now, I actually like most pictures I am in. What a change in just 45 lbs.

I remember last December when we were in Vegas and my daughter (then 6) wanted to zipline downtown. She wanted me to go with her and I was too scared to. The weight limit was 250 and I was right at/around that weight and too embarassed to have them weigh me and be rejected. So I had to deal with her disappointment that she had to do it without me.

I could go on and on forever unfortunately. But that is enough for now and about all my heart can take today. Bittersweet for sure... I am so happy to not be there anymore, but I still have a way to go and am disappointed in myself for getting to that point. I will NEVER go back to being that person again!

bbydl64

I remember the days of being thin. I remember being healthy. I remember blading with my kids and having a social life. I may be the opposite of everyone else. My weight gain started at 36. I am 48 now. Everytime I think I have the motivation to be that thin and healthy person again, it only lasts a few weeks. I count my carbs, proteins etc. then I get tired of counting and start binging.....any ideas??:drinker:

_Tay_

WOW thoroughly enjoyed reading these posts!!! I have so much in common with you ALL. Please if you stumble across this topic keep posting your Memories. All these memories have taught us so many lessons on WHY we want to be fit and healthy. I DO love you all

_Tay_

I remember "hugging" a pillow when relaxing on the couch at home because I wanted to hide the stomach that was much bigger when i was sitting down.

I remember wearing so many layers of Spanx or spandex under my clothes so that I would look "thinner" and being so uncomfortable and sweaty that I could not enjoy myself and only wanted to come home and get undressed.

I remember when mybeautiful 3 year old daughter innocently and honestly asked me why my stomach was so big when we were in the shower one day. I remember smiling instead of crying and telling her that mommy needs to lose a little weight and get healthier. It was like a knife to my heart to know that she noticed that part of me, but sadly, not enough for me to get off my *kitten* and do something 3 years ago. I NEVER want weight to be an issue for her.

I remember (and still experience) using my hair dryer to dry out the crease underneath my belly and put powder on to keep from getting a rash. It is humiliating and disgusting and I hope it goes away completely once I am down some more weight. I will take some loose skin on my belly any day in comparison to that. Can't believe I let myself exist like that.

I remember hating EVERY single picture I was in... Especially my double chin and all the weight in my midsection. Side angles were the absolute worst! Even now, I actually like most pictures I am in. What a change in just 45 lbs.

I remember last December when we were in Vegas and my daughter (then 6) wanted to zipline downtown. She wanted me to go with her and I was too scared to. The weight limit was 250 and I was right at/around that weight and too embarassed to have them weigh me and be rejected. So I had to deal with her disappointment that she had to do it without me.

I could go on and on forever unfortunately. But that is enough for now and about all my heart can take today. Bittersweet for sure... I am so happy to not be there anymore, but I still have a way to go and am disappointed in myself for getting to that point. I will NEVER go back to being that person again!

Inspirational to probably so many women out there. That was amazing of you to share such personal memories

_Tay_

I remember the days of being thin. I remember being healthy. I remember blading with my kids and having a social life. I may be the opposite of everyone else. My weight gain started at 36. I am 48 now. Everytime I think I have the motivation to be that thin and healthy person again, it only lasts a few weeks. I count my carbs, proteins etc. then I get tired of counting and start binging.....any ideas??:drinker:

How long have you been using MFP?
I would recommend this site to my anyone.
I would love to help motivate you! There are so many people here in this community who can replace your giving up attitude with motivation, including me!
add me if your interested!

santini1975

I remember standing behind people in group pictures so only my face showed.

I remember waking up with a sore back every day.

I remember thinking "I'm already fat, what difference will one more big mac make?"

I remember changing my clothes 3 or 4 times each morning because one outfit showed a muffin top, the other showed saddle bags, the other showed my belly pouch, etc

I remember envy....

I remember wondering if my husband would love me more if I were thin.

I remember needing new jeans, but refusing to buy them in the big size that actually fit me.

I remember making promises to myself that I didn't keep.

I remember people thinking I was older than I really was.

I remember wanting to work out but was too ashamed to go to the gym.

I remember the day I finally said "Enough".

I remember the day the scale finally moved.

I remember the day my I spent pulling up my pants because they were slipping off my hips.

I remember the day I cried in the dressing room because I could fit into the size I wore in high school.

_Tay_

I remember standing behind people in group pictures so only my face showed.

I remember waking up with a sore back every day.

I remember thinking "I'm already fat, what difference will one more big mac make?"

I remember changing my clothes 3 or 4 times each morning because one outfit showed a muffin top, the other showed saddle bags, the other showed my belly pouch, etc

I remember envy....

I remember wondering if my husband would love me more if I were thin.

I remember needing new jeans, but refusing to buy them in the big size that actually fit me.

I remember making promises to myself that I didn't keep.

I remember people thinking I was older than I really was.

I remember wanting to work out but was too ashamed to go to the gym.

I remember the day I finally said "Enough".

I remember the day the scale finally moved.

I remember the day my I spent pulling up my pants because they were slipping off my hips.

I remember the day I cried in the dressing room because I could fit into the size I wore in high school.

Amazing. So many awesome points and memories. Congrats on your weight loss

EvictingTheMassInMyAss

I remember being called the fat kid in school
I remember eating fast food all the time
I remember not knowing what a vegatable was
I remember drinking alot of Mt, Dew
I remember I CAN DO THIS!!

OK...well let me tell you what I remember about Todd. In a short period of time he has become my friend, he has GENUINELY touched my heart, and has become my inspiration. I WILL in the future be able to remember Todd making it to his goal weight!