Surviving peri-menopause/menopause? Help needed

BroiledNotFried

Calling help from my sisters out there who won the battles or war with our friend, Mr. Change of Life. How did you do it?
I am struggling with diet and exercise. I am tired, can't sleep at night, gained weight in the mid-section . . . everything but the hot flashes. Those haven't hit.

I eat 1200 calories AND I AM GAINING WEIGHT! If I exercise, then I stay the same weight. If I go over 1200 significantly, say to 2,000 calories, I gain a few pounds in a week! In my 20s and 30s, I was skinny minny. I ate at restaurants, ate the bread, dessert, drinks, and weighed between 120 and 130 pounds! Now, I've been creeping over 140, then 150, and now looking at the mid 150s. All of this in the past 2 years since hitting 42. Now, at 44, I am starving myself and working out. Nothing is budging. Instead, I gained 2 pounds this week, and it was AFTER Mr. Monthly.

Any advice out there?

Rhia55

I'm also 42 and watching for any replies because I know this will probably happen to me too..

axialmeow

Have you had your thyroid checked recently?

kmudica

Wow! Been there! When I hit 40 was when it started for me. Have you tried Estroven? That helped me.

BroiledNotFried

I haven't tried any potions or lotions.

I went to see a plastic surgeon about my tummy (need tummy tuck). She said, "Oh, women YOUR AGE gain weight in the middle..." I took it as an insult. But, really, it was the truth. Truth hurts.

I am just starting my quest to understand what is wrong.

Yes, I had my thyroid tested a few years ago, and then this past January. It was A-OK, right in the middle.

My regular doctor mentioned testing my glucose tolerance and insulin resistence. Diabetes runs very high in my family. Both grandparents, both parents, many uncles, etc. I have been tested for regular diabetes, but I don't understand the insulin resistance thing and why I now may need it too? For now, I have cut out all white flour and sugar as much as possible while still existing in a civil society.

Gentyl

I haven't tried any potions or lotions.

I went to see a plastic surgeon about my tummy (need tummy tuck). She said, "Oh, women YOUR AGE gain weight in the middle..." I took it as an insult. But, really, it was the truth. Truth hurts.

I am just starting my quest to understand what is wrong.

Yes, I had my thyroid tested a few years ago, and then this past January. It was A-OK, right in the middle.

My regular doctor mentioned testing my glucose tolerance and insulin resistence. Diabetes runs very high in my family. Both grandparents, both parents, many uncles, etc. I have been tested for regular diabetes, but I don't understand the insulin resistance thing and why I now may need it too? For now, I have cut out all white flour and sugar as much as possible while still existing in a civil society.

If you are gaining weight around the middle, are having trouble losing weight (even on 1200), and are only 42.. I would have to say that it is most probably insulin resistance. I'm 45, a newly diagnosed diabetic (but, I've probably had it for a few years). I was unable to lose weight, even on 1200 calories a day for 5 months! The diagnosis actually was the best thing for me.. I learned to lower my carbs Significantly (less than 30 grams a day) and now am dropping weight steadily and rather quickly (30 pounds lost in 2 months). Message me if anyone is interested in knowing more. Lowering my blood sugar really gave me a new lease on life.

Tetonia

I had the same problem in my early 40s. You can get over the counter progesterone cream to apply topically that may help with the hot flashes and stomach fat gain.

I am 47 and use both progesterone and a prescription estrogen that my GYN gives me. Also, I changed my diet. Before 40 I could eat milk and refined carbs (breads and pasta) without any problem. Since turning 40 those give me problems with weight gain. I won't say never, just not very often do I eat those foods. I went from 140 and a size 12 jeans down to 113 and size 2/4 with a healthy diet and regular exercise over about 18 months. Then I stopped using the progesterone.

I started eating more of those foods again and gained some of it back, mostly on my middle. Went back to using the hormones regularly and cleaned up my diet for what I know my body doesn't handle well and I am close to my goal again.

There is a lot of information out there on progesterone/estrogen balance. That is my experience. Talk to your GYN about it.

msbunnie68

Hiya.
I'm 44 and have been peri-menopausal for 10 years (what the heck is with that!). I don't get periods even on BC but Aussie docs don't like calling menopause in someone my age...(grizzle over)

I recently joined as I was EXACTLY like you - skinny thing all my life and bam! suddenly weight gain with little change to my lifestyle except hormones and a bit of portion control laxity.

I was given the good old 1200 cal by MFP and found all I lost was my temper.

I did many, many calculations on the whole TDEE/BMR thing etc etc. I decided to set my own calorie goal manually through MFP (go to goals section) and I set myself 1330 which was the TDEE of my GOAL weight minus 20% or there abouts. I did this because I didn't have a huge amount I want to lose (15-20 pounds max) and everybody banging on about it harder to lose if you are already in a healthy weight range etc.

The next thing I did was really look at what is going in. I reverted back to how I used to like to eat - lighter style meats, lots of legumes and beans and chickpeas, salads and fruits. AND my beloved cheeses are part and parcel of the pack, along with my red wine

I know I am a bit of a carb queen but I also need carbs or we have found I get a little low in the blood sugar department and combine that with my naturally low blood pressure leads to face planting. I manually set my carbs/protein/fats to 40/30/30.

I set my activity level to active and I don't track my exercise generally. I found it too hard to really be sure what I was burning, and I am really an active person anyway. If I do 'exercise' then I eat a yogurt that I don't log and call it even.

Days that I feel all funky (hormonal stuff) I add in tofu.

This seems to work for me because I consistently lose between 1/2 to 1 pound a week now, and have lost 11 pounds so far.

BroiledNotFried

bump bump

MarlinWil

So many great pieces of advice. I hit peri menopause after having my daughter at age 39 - it brought it on quicker, apparently. Sucks that there are THREE stages of menopause, but good on those who are checking it out before it hits. I didn't, and thought I had a huge dose of post-natal depression that had me lashing out at my older daughter and my husband. I truly went mad! I used to get so mad and kind of watch myself from afar, feeling this incredible heat go from my head to my toes, or vice versa.

It wasn't until almost a year later that I heard another couple of women talking about many of the things I was experiencing, and when I asked them what they were doing about it they suggested I contact the Australian Menopause Centre. Sure enough, those rages that I thought had me heating up was actually hot flushes!

I made the call and went through the blood tests and they prescribed a plant-based progesterone cream that I applied an hour before bed each night. I can honestly say it changed my life. My weight stabilised, and it was like this "rage" that I had been experiencing for so long was suddenly switched off. I think it helped that I finally had an answer to what was wrong with me. I was at my wits end, and honestly thought about ending my life more than once.

My GP (who I love, but who I don't talk to about these things any more) suggested to my husband that maybe the effects of the cream were "in my head", but hey, whatever works! This is something I still steam over, but on every other level he is the perfect GP. He just shows the ignorance that too many doctors demonstrate when it comes to this particular elephant in the room.

I had my thyroid removed this year, and started gaining weight, and along with the menopause this has been pretty difficult to control. I have found that increasing my calories manually to my BMR (I am 5ft 4, and have another 3-4kg to lose) has started to see the weight come off. I am very active, and I also was always a more leaner, athletic build, and I find that really paying attention to the amount of carbs I eat, as well as being committed to daily exercise, has paid dividends.

It is a lot slower than I would like, and it took a long time for the weight to start to level out and then drop, but as I have persevered, I have been less upset at the length of time it is taking, and more focussed on how much I am enjoying my new-found fitness.

I would recommend kick-starting your weight loss if you are at the beginning, by joining up to an online fitness programme (eg 12WBT - it really is very good), or getting yourself a personal trainer that you see 3 times a week for at least a month. The accountability is incredible, and at the end of the month (or 12 weeks) you will have started a habit.

Getting through this time is difficult and daunting, and there have been a lot of times I have felt like throwing my hands up in despair, but most of the time I am tentatively proud of myself, and can see real rewards in my discipline. Determination to get back to (and beyond) the fitness I took for granted is a huge driving force. And this site has helped me in huge ways - I have an incredible group of friends who are invested in me, and make me feel so special and so great. I hope that I make them feel half as good as they do me - sustaining yourself and your goals is impossible without support. That is a HUGE part of my success.

I think I kind of rambled here, but hopefully my story helps a little. I think we are all different, but the roots are the same. Probably steer clear of synthetic or animal-based hormones, and check out the great plant-based solutions that are available. We are lucky to be going through this dreadful time in the age that we are. 100 (or even 15) years ago, there was nowhere near the knowledge or support available to our mums, grandmas, etc going through this. It was basically "suck it up" or worse.

Wil
xx

nxd10

I haven't tried any potions or lotions.

I went to see a plastic surgeon about my tummy (need tummy tuck). She said, "Oh, women YOUR AGE gain weight in the middle..." I took it as an insult. But, really, it was the truth. Truth hurts.

I am just starting my quest to understand what is wrong.

Yes, I had my thyroid tested a few years ago, and then this past January. It was A-OK, right in the middle.

My regular doctor mentioned testing my glucose tolerance and insulin resistence. Diabetes runs very high in my family. Both grandparents, both parents, many uncles, etc. I have been tested for regular diabetes, but I don't understand the insulin resistance thing and why I now may need it too? For now, I have cut out all white flour and sugar as much as possible while still existing in a civil society.

If you are gaining weight around the middle, are having trouble losing weight (even on 1200), and are only 42.. I would have to say that it is most probably insulin resistance. I'm 45, a newly diagnosed diabetic (but, I've probably had it for a few years). I was unable to lose weight, even on 1200 calories a day for 5 months! The diagnosis actually was the best thing for me.. I learned to lower my carbs Significantly (less than 30 grams a day) and now am dropping weight steadily and rather quickly (30 pounds lost in 2 months). Message me if anyone is interested in knowing more. Lowering my blood sugar really gave me a new lease on life.

I think so too.

I would look hard at your carbs and sugars. If you are insulin resistant, then high glycemic foods (ones that cause a rapid rise in blood sugar followed by an insulin spike) will really help you put on weight. And yes, at this time and forever more, it will all go to your midd le.

Eating less processed carbs (whole grains, brown rice/wheat, etc.), dropping sugar/potatoes/white rice and especially soda and beer could really help tremendously. I am not low carb, but going under 50% all the time and moving towards 40% of unprocessed carbs helped a lot.

MarlinWil

I get a running mag, and picked it up today. One of the articles in it said that running is one of the best ways to fight diabetes. Made me think about the weight around the middle issue. And then I thought about how much running I am doing now, and how much it has really improved my fitness.

Are you at all able to incorporate some running into your exercise routine? Are you doing any at the moment? I never, ever, thought I would be a happy runner, but I have discovered a real sense of pride and excitement at what I have achieved. I now know that running will always be a part of my life, and really love looking forward to the next formal run. So far I am doing 5km runs, as I am full-time carer for my youngest daughter, but I hope to throw a few 10km runs in when my husband is home and I have the opportunity to run without the pram. I will probably fly on those days! Or at least feel like I am flying!

Anyway, food for thought. You could really benefit from the Couch to 5K programme - I haven't used it, but have read a lot of threads posted by people who have been blown away by their results. Incorporate some weights in with running and cycling, and you have a whole new world opening up for you. That's what has happened for me. No longer am I passive in my situation. I try so hard to learn as much as I can, and control the parts of my life that I am able to. Fitness and diet can be controlled, and they help me to minimise some of the more aggressive symptoms of menopause. Plus I feel energised and less tired. Some days I am still exhausted, but that is a normal part of being a full-time mum with a special needs child, and less to do with menopause.

Take care - would be great to hear how you go.

Wil

melaniecheeks

There's a number of suggestions out there - it's a bit of trial and error to find what works for you.

I found black cohosh did nothing for me, but I did take some isoflavone tablets for a while. And added in soy to my diet (soy milk, roast soy beans, soy yoghurts). There's a recipe for HRT cake which you can make, which contains lots of those estrogen-mimicking foodstuffs, and it's pretty tasty too, though about 200 cals a slice.

I also read up that even with actual HRT, you still get the symptoms, just less so. So I focussed on ways of making the symptoms themselves more bearable. I always carry a bottle of water and a fan, and use those to calm down the hot flushes in my face. I found a brand of sleepwear called Coolsleepwear which makes really cute nightdresses and PJs out of special wicking material, which helps enormously at night. I keep a bottle of water and a face flannel by my bed.

And rather sadly, alcohol exacerbates the hot flushing, so I've really cut back on that.

There's an acupuncture hold you can try when you feel a flush coming on - pinch the fold of skin between your left thumb and index finger really hard with the other hand.

And always remember - this too shall pass.

popzork

I was told that when we hit this age, your exercise needs to be 300 minutes a week. I have found that to be true. Although, once again my weight loss as has stalled, I know I would gain without the extra exercise.

At this point it is a mental game. I don't exercise 300 minutes a week. But I am very active for that amount of time...

As in, I would shoot myself if I had to work out, but I love to ride my bike and swim. Plus, I'm enjoying running more because my speed is increasing. I do do "exercises" with my core workout. I dread those but they are helping with the fun stuff, so I do them/

So, you see how it's a mental game for me? I am doing things I love, not forcing myself to exercise. Think back to when you were a kid. What did you LOVE? Turn that into your "exercise".

I am going to look for progesterone cream though because the hot flushes are KILLING me.

BroiledNotFried

I run on the treadmill. My "goal" is to run 2 days a week, figure skate 3 days a week (one of those days is a super high workout of 90 minutes on the ice, and I do a day of Yoga (Sunday). When I run, I run about 3 miles, in total, doing intervals. Monday & Wednesday are running days. Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday are figure skating days. Sunday is Yoga. Friday should be P90X Core or Kick boxing. But, work and life gets in the way.

(Running is hard as I sold my feet to the devil when I was a child in exchange for unforgiving pairs of figure skating boots. I have bone spurs, a torn archilles, plantar fasciutus, and surgery on an ankle tendon due to cysts that formed. I still put the feet in the boots and go "crampy numb" for about the first 10 minutes on the ice.)

I had my fasting blood sugar checked earlier this year, and it was perfect. But, I didn't get the stress test. I had one when I was 38 & pregnant. Passed it then. But, it's been 6 years.

Ok, I am going to try to cut the carbs. But, damn, I had a banana today. It looked so good, and it came from our tree ....

kmacgera

I haven't tried any potions or lotions.

I went to see a plastic surgeon about my tummy (need tummy tuck). She said, "Oh, women YOUR AGE gain weight in the middle..." I took it as an insult. But, really, it was the truth. Truth hurts.

I am just starting my quest to understand what is wrong.

Yes, I had my thyroid tested a few years ago, and then this past January. It was A-OK, right in the middle.

My regular doctor mentioned testing my glucose tolerance and insulin resistence. Diabetes runs very high in my family. Both grandparents, both parents, many uncles, etc. I have been tested for regular diabetes, but I don't understand the insulin resistance thing and why I now may need it too? For now, I have cut out all white flour and sugar as much as possible while still existing in a civil society.

If you are gaining weight around the middle, are having trouble losing weight (even on 1200), and are only 42.. I would have to say that it is most probably insulin resistance. I'm 45, a newly diagnosed diabetic (but, I've probably had it for a few years). I was unable to lose weight, even on 1200 calories a day for 5 months! The diagnosis actually was the best thing for me.. I learned to lower my carbs Significantly (less than 30 grams a day) and now am dropping weight steadily and rather quickly (30 pounds lost in 2 months). Message me if anyone is interested in knowing more. Lowering my blood sugar really gave me a new lease on life.

Lowering carbs was my ticket, too. But about 120 per day and a slower loss.

AnninStPaul

I haven't tried any potions or lotions.

I went to see a plastic surgeon about my tummy (need tummy tuck). She said, "Oh, women YOUR AGE gain weight in the middle..." I took it as an insult. But, really, it was the truth. Truth hurts.

I am just starting my quest to understand what is wrong.

Yes, I had my thyroid tested a few years ago, and then this past January. It was A-OK, right in the middle.

My regular doctor mentioned testing my glucose tolerance and insulin resistence. Diabetes runs very high in my family. Both grandparents, both parents, many uncles, etc. I have been tested for regular diabetes, but I don't understand the insulin resistance thing and why I now may need it too? For now, I have cut out all white flour and sugar as much as possible while still existing in a civil society.

There are two types of diabetes. Type 1, often called Juvenile Diabetes or Insulin Dependent Diabetes, is an autoimmune disorder where [for reasons unknown] the body attacks the islet cells in the pancreas that make insulin, destroying them. Type 1 diabetics must take insulin daily in order to use the glucose in food.

Type 2, often called Adult-Onset or Non-Insulin Dependent Diabetes, is severe insulin resistance. This is where the cells in your body don't use insulin well, and so the blood glucose, and is more common than Type 1. Type 2 diabetics are often started on diet and exercise, and then oral drugs to improve their bodies use of insulin and/or regulate the processing of glucose in the liver. If this is insufficient, they may progress to insulin. Type 2 diabetics may become insulin dependent if, as a result of the insulin resistance, their pancreas works so hard that it burns out.

As for peri-menopause...I'm 47 and have taken continuous birth control (no withdrawal week) for 5+ years. No more hot flashes, periods, fewer migraines, no impact on my weight loss. Ask your doctor, you can do it with generics rather than paying up for Yaz etc.

BroiledNotFried

I made my doctor appointment for Monday. yeah!

I was on birth control (NuvaRing) for 3 years, but just took a few months off. I don't know why, just becuase? I gained 5 pounds when I stopped taking it. I wonder if the hormones in the ring were somehow regulating my body size? But, I still had the body fat in the mid section....

BlisterLamb

Read my profile. Or..maybe you can't if you aren't on my FL..I don't know. But briefly (as if I could ever say anything briefly), I experienced the same thing. I lost 100 pounds, then plateaued for YEARS, then started gaining. I gained 25 pounds while eating a healthy diet and working out. I'm very active with cycling, running, dancing, paddleboarding, hiking, lifting weights, etc. I thought I was going to lose my mind as the scale kept climbing. I went to THREE different doctors who all patronizingly told me it was premenopause. And I suspect they didn't believe I ate and exercise the way I said I did. After gaining the 25 I finally found a doctor who diagnosed Hashimoto's thyroiditis. And one of the hallmarks of the disease is that it's nearly impossible to lose weight and in fact to gain while dieting and exercising. It appears to be common in women around this age. I'm on thyroid meds now and its halted the gain, but losing is still darn near impossible. I would say to ask your doctor to be checked for Hashiomotos. The first three doctors missed it because my thyroid function tests were in the low end of normal. The last guy caught it because he checked my thyroid antibodies. They were super high.

astrampe

I found that running and heavy weights at least keep my weight sort of stable (if I eat around 1600 cals) The hot flushes at night got a lot less after I started lifting heavy...
I am gaining weight around my waist and tummy (which I never did:sad: )
I also do the 40/30/30 carb/protein/fat mix and it look like it works for me so far.
Periods still crazy irregular, and I just lost 3 lbs slowly after eating around my bmr for three weeks (and lifting and running) but somehow got it all back this week - with no idea why and from where....And I hate the fact that my pants are tight around my waist and hips in spite of the shape that I can see developing through lifting heavy!

I took a supplement that I found on the internet (Menoquil) for a month - and apart from not picking up any weight that month, I had nice nails and hair too! :flowerforyou: Will get more of it and see if it keeps the fat around my waist under control......
Good luck!

Cobwellac

I'm turning 42 next week and my weight started ballooning two years ago, right around the time my FSH levels started going nuts. Anyway, I found the best way to lose and control my weight has been through rigorously counting calories (at my height, I stay under 1200 most days) and through steady weight lifting. The biggest factor, however, was acupuncture to regulate my hormones and spur weight loss. Good luck!

lynne_p

Bump

BroiledNotFried

One week of strict diet (weighed & counted everything) and movement; eating just under my caloric goal of 1300 (excluding exercise calories) . . . and didn't lose ANY weight. I stayed the same. Well, I should be happy I didn't gain weight. Still 152 pounds and a size 10/12. I am only 5'4".

I can't weight to go to the regular doctor on Monday. I called the ob/gyn and the nurse said to start with the regular doctor.

SmallMimi

Agree with those who indicated a lower carb intake. Keep mine at about 120-140g.

poedunk65

my advise as a husband? Get your husband a gun so he can blow his brains out! LMAO

Just kiddin of course. My wife went thru perimenopause and it was VERY dificult to say the least.

Quick tempers, hot flashes, emotional wreck. Hard to deal with it as a man because there are no answers to any given situation and how a woman will react.

Her doctor was of no help either, she tried homrones which made it worse, she was depressed due to physical body chnages.

Her sex drive was and still is very low and she suffers from low self esteem.

Good luck ladies it is a tough situation.

BroiledNotFried

"my advise as a husband? Get your husband a gun so he can blow his brains out! LMAO "

To make it worse, our daughter is almost 12 years old . . . .

BroiledNotFried

120-140 in carbs?

I looked back at this week, and I am between 127 and 175 in carbs a day. I'd say I average 155ish. If I try lower, I don''t want to feel "weak" exercising.

Do you feel weak at 120? I tried Atkins a long time ago, and it was no carbs/25 carbs. I felt sick and my side hurt.

Seems like a stupid question, but, what's your "rule" to keep it at 120-140? One slice of bread? Cereal? What do you keep in the back of your mind as you are choosing what to eat?

susanlittle1

I'm 47 and I think I started noticing change at 44 or so my new high for weight was 160 instead of 150.... then the cravings along with missed periods.. the cravings was off the charts (sweets/carbs). I saw a dr. that specialized in peri-menopause symptoms she prescribed progesterone, my cravings went away but the weight did not drop... I reached a high of 210 in 3 years. So at 47 I started 3 weeks ago a serious 1200 calorie diet and have lost 10 lbs. Every doctor says my metabolism is hypothyroid borderline... so that was the reason for gain. I hate PERIMENOPAUSE... everyone doesn't gain weight but I did and only in the belly. I'm determined though I will win this fight!!!

Nerys52

I had perimenopause since turning 40 yrs and now I am 52 yrs and in menopause , not easy , take just one day at a time

AngelaKoder

Hormones affect EVERYTHING. I don' loose weight for a whole year after having a baby (I've had two) because my hormone levels aren't what they should be. It's impossoble to loose weight if the hormone balance isn't right. Maybe talk to your Dr to see what they suggest.
Sorry for your struggle. I know it's very common. I know 3 other people going through the same thing. Doesn't seem fair to not eat AND exercise, and still feel fat.

jlapey

I'm 42, 153 (down from163 in 4 months) I eat healthy homemade foods and workout 3 times a week (strength and cardio). I think 1200 is too low, at least for me. I eat 1400 instead. Weight loss is slow, but happening. I definitely see changes despite the scale.