forever love? im unsure

motivatedmama85

Hey just have something that's been on my mind for awhile and wondering if I'm alone in this but I'm with the father of my baby and tho I have love FOR him I'm not in love with him but sticking it out for my babygirl as I think its very important to have both patents. He doesn't know this and from the outside look like a happy family but I can't see myself being with him after she's 18 I came from a household where I always had both parents and still do ... he's 9 yrs my senior I Dk if that has anything to do with it I never thought so before but our views and morals don't coincide .... anyone else feel this way sometimes? ??

Rhia55

Yes, that is how I felt about my husband after about 6 years of marriage. We tried to stick it out, but after four more years it was clear we'd grown apart. Neither of us were "in love" though we did still love one another. It just wasn't the same.

We eventually separated and divorced. I'll always love him, and we didn't have children together, but we both realized that our time together was just over.

oregonzoo

You aren't in love with him. But you stay with him for your daughter?


Would you want your daughter to live that way? To stay with a man she wasn't in love with?

I know you think you are doing the right thing by her. But as she grows up your relationship is going to be an example to her. Don't let her think she should settle.

motivatedmama85

Ive never thought of it that way but it makes sense. I wouldn't want this for her but all she sees now. ( she's 2 1/2) is that mommy and daddy love each other Cuz honestly I fake it.. sounds horrible .. I want to be in Love with him but I Dk I just dont feel like he's my soulmate if there is such a thing...

marvelprime

It's honorable that you're sacrificing yourself for the kids. However, as someone that been that guy on the situation of which you describe...be upfront and tell him how you feel. Don't keep it secret, and really eventually, he may discover the news in a way that will make the situation even worse. Trust me, I know it will be worse.

My situation nearly destroyed my inner worth, and the manner of which I found out that she was hiding that fact (an email to one of her friends) was even more destructive.

The best thing you can do is figure out a custody arrangement so you can both be in the childs life, and the child still has the parents. If you keep up the charade, the younger kids will act out more because they can feel the mixed emotions between the parents and can't correctly process it. Terrible twos will be multiplied that much more if they aren't all ready...and as the above poster stated it will effect how the child will be in a relationship as well when they get older.

SeaRunner26

Truthfully, I don't know what the best solution is. I suspect that even if you stay together, your child will know things aren't right. Children are much more perceptive than adults give them credit for. Good luck with what ever you decision you make.