Chuck Norris

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rjt1000
rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
in Chit-Chat
Chuck Norris is so scary that when the Boogeyman goes to bed, he checks the closet for Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris died 10 years ago but the Grim Reaper is too scared to tell him
Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread
Disney made a Chuck Norris movie in 3D but had to pull it out of theatres. In the first scene Chuck does a roundhouse kick and all the people in the first 3 rows of the theatres were getting killed
Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet on who was stronger. The loser has to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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  • SofaKingRad_
    SofaKingRad_ Posts: 276
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    OMG THANKS I NEEDED A GOOD LAUGH TODAY! THESE ARE GREAT KEEP THEM COMING!
  • BritneysStuntDouble
    BritneysStuntDouble Posts: 849 Member
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    Oh my. I certainly enjoyed these. Real rib-ticklers. Where do you come up with this stuff?

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  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    These are awesome! I don't know who Chuck Norris is, but I can't stop chuckling! Did you make them up? :smile:
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
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    most come from my youngest child who has for soem reason become infatuated by Chuck.
  • SofaKingRad_
    SofaKingRad_ Posts: 276
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    Oh my. I certainly enjoyed these. Real rib-ticklers. Where do you come up with this stuff?

    023.gif

    omg that pic is so cute where did you find it at?
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
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    These are awesome! I don't know who Chuck Norris is, but I can't stop chuckling! Did you make them up? :smile:

    He's an american martial arts guy from many years back who became an actor. He was in a couple Bruce Lee movies before Bruce died. Made a bunch of badass martial arts movies of his own and then did some normal stuff and had a TV show where he was a Texas Ranger (sort like a police officer). He's in his 60s now but is still a great fighter.
  • BritneysStuntDouble
    BritneysStuntDouble Posts: 849 Member
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    most come from my youngest child who has for soem reason become infatuated by Chuck.
    You should put them on a website. They're super! Maybe use MySpace or GeoCities.
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
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    ghosts sit around the camp fire and tell Chuck Norris stories
    Stare at an American flag long enough and a 3D image of Chuck Norris will appear.
    Chuck Norris can hear lightning and see thunder
    and my favorite- Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
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    most come from my youngest child who has for soem reason become infatuated by Chuck.
    You should put them on a website. They're super! Maybe use MySpace or GeoCities.

    I posted a bunch on my BBS. Email me and I'll give you the dial up number. I've got it set with a 56k modem so the download speed is incredible.
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
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    haha the Chuck Norris jokes are all over the interwebz can't believe you guys ain't seen em!
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  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    These are awesome! I don't know who Chuck Norris is, but I can't stop chuckling! Did you make them up? :smile:

    He's an american martial arts guy from many years back who became an actor. He was in a couple Bruce Lee movies before Bruce died. Made a bunch of badass martial arts movies of his own and then did some normal stuff and had a TV show where he was a Texas Ranger (sort like a police officer). He's in his 60s now but is still a great fighter.

    Oh, thanks! I will Google him. I bet it will make the jokes even funnier. Do you have more?
  • elprincipito
    elprincipito Posts: 1,200 Member
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    ok now i know this is a troll topic -_-
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
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    These are awesome! I don't know who Chuck Norris is, but I can't stop chuckling! Did you make them up? :smile:

    He's an american martial arts guy from many years back who became an actor. He was in a couple Bruce Lee movies before Bruce died. Made a bunch of badass martial arts movies of his own and then did some normal stuff and had a TV show where he was a Texas Ranger (sort like a police officer). He's in his 60s now but is still a great fighter.

    Oh, thanks! I will Google him. I bet it will make the jokes even funnier. Do you have more?

    Sure, how many do you want? I can post them one at a time for you to create some sense of anticipation for you. That way you can have some extra time to think up your responses and practice them in the mirror to make sure you get full effects.

    I love posters like you. You keep things lively.....
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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    tumblr_mc56r34pYQ1rvp3zlo1_1280.jpg
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Post them all!
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
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    Chuck Norris is a douchepuppet who thinks we're all going to be plunged into darkness and despair because Obama was re-elected...

    Oh wait, that's not a joke... that actually happened.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Chuck Norris is a douchepuppet who thinks we're all going to be plunged into darkness and despair because Obama was re-elected...

    Oh wait, that's not a joke... that actually happened.

    What? Is that true?
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
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    http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
  • jayce54321
    jayce54321 Posts: 110 Member
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    Chuck Norris is a douchepuppet who thinks we're all going to be plunged into darkness and despair because Obama was re-elected...

    Oh wait, that's not a joke... that actually happened.


    Don't blame me when the sun goes out- I voted for Jill Stein.
  • Rayman79
    Rayman79 Posts: 2,009 Member
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    Chuck Norris is a douchepuppet who thinks we're all going to be plunged into darkness and despair because Obama was re-elected...

    Oh wait, that's not a joke... that actually happened.

    What? Is that true?

    Unfortunately yes, he and Linda (his wife) were in a commercial supporting Romney's campaign, saying that id Obama was re-elected it would be the 'beginning of 1000 years of darkness' amongst other things.

    It turns out he is quite the religious fanatic. Too bad such a badass had to turn out to be such a nutjob.

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