Lost that loving feeling/co-habitation.

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corn63
corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, I moved in with my Man Friend in September. Things are great with our relationship, no complaints really except.

When I lived in my own place, we had sex at least 5x a week. Now that I live there, it's 2x a week and weekends only. Last night, he told me he wanted to do sex to me (yes, he's romantic) but then fell asleep.

I tell my best friend Odus and she informs me that I got married (no, not really. but figuratively speaking) and that's how it is. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So c'mon. Tell me your stories and that my life isn't going to be a sexless desert from Mon-Thurs. And yes, I've spoken with him about this and he says "Aww, I'm sorry honey. I was just tired last night. I'll take care of you tonight." And no, he's not the type to just take me and have his way with me and yes.

He will turn me down. Did I just get husband upped and I didn't realize it?
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Replies

  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
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    I've never turned my wife down, and I could have written what you just wrote...
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
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    Maybe he was actually tired. At least he didn't fall asleep during.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Sorry but sex life doesn't dwindle just because you get married or move in together.

    He really could have been tired. You did say he went to sleep after suggesting it.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,114 Member
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    Move out. Ta da.
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    Yea you got married. Thats how marriage is, thats why married people have boy/girl toys.
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
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    ...just break up.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    Just break up
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,926 Member
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    My man and I live together (about 1 month and 1/2 now) and have sex every day - sometimes 2x, which is more than we used to before because he lived across town. Sorry, Charlie, somethings really wrong...
  • toomuchbootyindapants
    toomuchbootyindapants Posts: 811 Member
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    *grumbles* - together with my man for 14+ years - I'm lucky to get laid on the weekends. I'd take it everyday if I could. Ohhh if I'm a realllly good girl (or pretty much just "take it") - I might get a mid-week romp. Marriage sucks (and guys - sorry, but it's not always the women who are "too tired, have a headache, wah wah wahhhh" - sometimes its members of your own group). :P
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
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    we are going through the same thing! we've been living together for quite a bit longer but it is both of us we are just too tired sometimes!
  • axelorate
    axelorate Posts: 75 Member
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    So, I moved in with my Man Friend in September. Things are great with our relationship, no complaints really except.

    When I lived in my own place, we had sex at least 5x a week. Now that I live there, it's 2x a week and weekends only. Last night, he told me he wanted to do sex to me (yes, he's romantic) but then fell asleep.

    I tell my best friend Odus and she informs me that I got married (no, not really. but figuratively speaking) and that's how it is. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So c'mon. Tell me your stories and that my life isn't going to be a sexless desert from Mon-Thurs. And yes, I've spoken with him about this and he says "Aww, I'm sorry honey. I was just tired last night. I'll take care of you tonight." And no, he's not the type to just take me and have his way with me and yes.

    He will turn me down. Did I just get husband upped and I didn't realize it?

    Be lucky you get it twice a week. I think the last time my guy and I had sex was four months ago.
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
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    *grumbles* - together with my man for 14+ years - I'm lucky to get laid on the weekends. I'd take it everyday if I could. Ohhh if I'm a realllly good girl (or pretty much just "take it") - I might get a mid-week romp. Marriage sucks (and guys - sorry, but it's not always the women who are "too tired, have a headache, wah wah wahhhh" - sometimes its members of your own group). :P

    aw man this makes me sad :(
  • dukeninja
    dukeninja Posts: 50 Member
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    Move out. Ta da.

    ^^ This. It's all about supply and demand. If its always potentially available, then it's less desirable. Living apart means you always see each other at your best.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    *grumbles* - together with my man for 14+ years - I'm lucky to get laid on the weekends. I'd take it everyday if I could. Ohhh if I'm a realllly good girl (or pretty much just "take it") - I might get a mid-week romp. Marriage sucks (and guys - sorry, but it's not always the women who are "too tired, have a headache, wah wah wahhhh" - sometimes its members of your own group). :P

    Um wow. :noway: Don't blame it on the marriage. There could be something else wrong with your husband. Have you talked to him about it?

    Sorry but I hate it when people say "Oh once you get married you just stop having sex!" That's a load of crap.
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
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    Some of the side effects of living together, like him coming in to pee while I'm brushing my teeth or lazing around with his hairy belly sticking out between the top of his sweats and the bottom of his t-shirt, really can put the old sex life to sleep or in a permanent coma.
  • vytamindi
    vytamindi Posts: 845 Member
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    Move out. Ta da.

    Actually, this could be good advice. There are some times that I wish that my fiance and I lived separately. I enjoyed my old apartment and when he visited, it was lots of fun making dinner together and watching movies.

    Now, we just don't have the money to live separately anymore. And we have our dogs that neither of us want to be parted with. Don't get me wrong, we love being with each other in our own house, but I still kinda miss my own place :)
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    You have to make it a point and not just wait for it to happen spontaneously. I started to feel that way a bit, but we had a conversation and came to the realization that sometimes "GET IN THE BEDROOM" is exactly what needs to be said. Works like a charm.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    It is perfectly normal. However, I have found that a see-through red teddy and some sexy black heels go a long way to helping him find that loving feeling again ...
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    You have to make it a point and not just wait for it to happen spontaneously. I started to feel that way a bit, but we had a conversation and came to the realization that sometimes "GET IN THE BEDROOM" is exactly what needs to be said. Works like a charm.

    Or schedule it like any other activity that you do. To say that the lack of sex is because you're living together or married is a crock. You made time for it before you moved in/got married so why can't you make time for it now? Hell it's easier now because you're in the same house!
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    Living with someone's a grind, even if you love them. Housework's not sexy, and neither is discussing bills. I think there's no way around *some* reduction.

    If he's a weekends-only guy, maybe his head's just not in it in the routine of the work-week. Like maybe he has to make a leap into 'sex brain', and he could do that at your place, but now it's back to 'regular life'. My ex was like that, I couldn't find a way around it. Maybe you could schedule Wednesdays for 'date nights' or something, people talk about that sometimes.

    Did he really say he wanted to 'do sex to you'??
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