Integrity and keeping your word to others...

Options
wewon
wewon Posts: 838 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm not a real sociable guy, never have been. I have my small circle of friends and I am pretty happy with that. My wife is considerably more sociable than I am. About a year ago she wanted me to be more outgoing and more friendly to people in general. Mastering the art of small talk, follow up and essentially getting together with others.

I decided to put forth the effort, but I find the whole thing filled with empty rituals, people being polite is nice, but not something I was ever good at. I also notice that people have "throw away" lines like 'let's get together' or 'let's do lunch' that they don't always follow up on. I also developed my own signature move of "Hey if you're ever in town look me up!" and "Don't come to Cincinnati without coming by!!". I must have used those phrases 100 times over the last year, especially when I'm at conferences or visiting relatives etc.

Well, the other day I came home and there was this message on the answering machine "Hi Wewon and Wewon's wife (only our real names). The is Rich, me and about 3 buddies are coming into town on *date* to see the Bearcats play. Thought I would take you up on your offer and possibly crash at your place that weekend."

The thing is, I have no clue who this Rich character is, let alone his 3 buddies. All I know is that I must have thrown out my signature move out of town someplace along with my phone number. I feel obligated to keep my word and host the guy for the weekend. I pride myself on being a man of my word. My wife said that is the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard and that it would crazy for me to let 4 drunk strangers into the house who are probably only going to party and tailgate.

How do I get my wife to get with the program and not make our guest feel uncomfortable?

Replies

  • MyPsalm63
    MyPsalm63 Posts: 303
    Options
    The friend I would let stay but not buddies of his. I would not trust them or feel comfortable. If you're wife isn't comfortable, I think you should be honest with your friend. Same as if you were uncomfortable.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Options
    Sorry, I think your wife is right.
  • samblanken
    samblanken Posts: 369 Member
    Options
    If you don't remember who this guy is, don't return the phone call. No one stays in my house that isn't family or close to it.
  • guardian419
    guardian419 Posts: 391 Member
    Options
    I've run into similar situations, but more of a "can my friend crash at your place for a few days" kind of thing...

    My reason to NOT let them stay (and it's my real reason) is that I don't know them well enough, and I have young kids.

    If you wanted to opt out, you could maybe find them a cheap hotel and offer to go for drinks after or something... remaining sociable, but keeping personal boundaries. It's not a matter of integrity if you're protecting yourself and family from people you don't really know.

Categories