I feel embarrassed...
sarahahum
Posts: 24 Member
I feel really embarrassed when it shows how out of shape I am. It's obvious I'm overweight, and that's embarrassing in and of itself, but it's really awful when I have to do something in the presence of someone else who doesn't struggle with physical activity. I feel like it makes me seem even fatter than I come across if you just look at me.
I'm a 21-year-old female. At 5'2", I'm right around 200 lbs. I'm not sure I look like I'm 200 lbs., but it's obvious I'm not 100.
Last night, my older male friend who is 6'something and very slender offered me a ride home from the event we were at. He was parked on the 6th floor of the parking garage and insisted that we take the stairs because he was too impatient to wait for the elevator. It was 12 flights in total. At some point, I asked if he didn't believe in elevators. He said he routinely walked to his 10th floor office at work. I said "Yeah your legs are a lot longer than mine." And he said "But yours are a lot younger." I said it didn't feel that way sometimes. My legs felt wobbly around the 9th flight, and by the time I got into his car, I was breathing heavily. It took me a really long time to start breathing normal again, and my heart was still beating hard when I got to my apartment 15 minutes later. Meanwhile, he was completely fine.
I am so embarrassed that he saw how out of shape I am. Part of if motivates me because I don't want to feel this embarrassed around other people again, but another part of me is just really depressed about it...
I'm a 21-year-old female. At 5'2", I'm right around 200 lbs. I'm not sure I look like I'm 200 lbs., but it's obvious I'm not 100.
Last night, my older male friend who is 6'something and very slender offered me a ride home from the event we were at. He was parked on the 6th floor of the parking garage and insisted that we take the stairs because he was too impatient to wait for the elevator. It was 12 flights in total. At some point, I asked if he didn't believe in elevators. He said he routinely walked to his 10th floor office at work. I said "Yeah your legs are a lot longer than mine." And he said "But yours are a lot younger." I said it didn't feel that way sometimes. My legs felt wobbly around the 9th flight, and by the time I got into his car, I was breathing heavily. It took me a really long time to start breathing normal again, and my heart was still beating hard when I got to my apartment 15 minutes later. Meanwhile, he was completely fine.
I am so embarrassed that he saw how out of shape I am. Part of if motivates me because I don't want to feel this embarrassed around other people again, but another part of me is just really depressed about it...
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Replies
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use that as motivation
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You are taken the first steps to a healthy life style. Good for you!0
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That embarrassment is exactly what you need to get motivated, unfortunately it takes certain situation to trigger your future success. I was shocked when I stood on the scale for the first time but it leads to motivation we all need.0
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You are on this site and doing something about it. That is awesome! Don't feel so down on yourself!
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Don't be depressed. I went through the same thing. I was so out of shape I got winded walking down the street. It was a big motivator for me. I took baby steps adding exercise. Now I lift weights 3 days a week, and run at least twice, plus some other cardio sprinkled in. I never thought 5 months ago that I would be able to do all of this. Use this as motivation to get moving. You will feel so much better I promise.
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No need to be embarrassed. We're all like that about all forms of exercise when we haven't gotten used to it.
6 floors is a lot of stairs to start with. If you'd like to improve, start taking the stairs; start by using the stairs every time you only need to go up/down one floor. When you're comfortable with this, increase your "requirement" to 2 floors, etc. You'll be surprised how soon you, too, can comfortably climb 6 floors of stairs.0 -
If your goal is to be able to climb 12 flights of stairs, then if you follow a healthy and sensible plan someday you will be able to!
In the meantime, I know many people who wouldn't be able to climb 12 flights of stairs and guess what, a lot of them are much thinner than I am and they certainly aren't on MFP.
When I feel embarassed about something, I try to remember that even though it seemed like a big deal to me, the other person probably hasn't thought of it since. I'm not sure if this is at all comforting but I say it to myself at least once a week!0 -
Use this as a motivation. Don't feel bad, most of us here have allowed ourselves to get out of shape. The fact is that YOu are here aren't u? YOu are doing something about it. That is hard enough, and you should be proud of yourself for taking the first step towards a healthier you. Sometimes its situations like these (the whole upstairs scenario) that open our eyes and motivate us to take charge. I hope your weight loss journey is a great one and that someday you can look back at this story, and giggle.
I wish you the best.0 -
I know that feeling, but if you make yourself do things like that, soon you'll be the one who is leaping up and down the stairs! Put one front in the other and you'll get there 0
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I get embarrassed too around most of my friends. I never got above 170 but for my age I am (was?) WAY out of shape!! I went on a few hikes with friends and sometimes I had to try very hard to hide the fact that I felt like puking after hiking up a hill!! Maybe next year when I am at my goal weight and have been to the gym so much I won't have to feel embarrassed that way ever again!0
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I understand the embarassment, because I started this process at 338 pounds. But when you can do those things that seem so hard now, and they are easy, it will be worth every minute of it! I used to run errands with my boss, and there was this particular building we would go to that he would always insist on taking the stairs. By the time I got to the top, I was completely winded and he was fine. It used to be horribly embarassing. But now going to that building and taking the stairs makes me smile every time, because it is so easy! Just hang in there!0
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You post made me really sad. Your friend was obviously a pretty awesome person, he never said anything to you about being overweight, he said you were younger. Great response from him. Appreciate who you have around you and use them to your benefit.
You have to start somewhere. Only you can cause yourself to be embarrassed. Give up that emotion for pure grit and determination to never breath heavy walking stairs again. I'm very fit (now) but had to start somewhere. I workout in my living room by myself. It still drives me nuts when my kids sit and watch me workout, and I'm always uncomfortable at the start of my marathons, but I do it for me, no one else.
I genuinely really don't think people notice either. I don't My boss smokes, but I take him out for a walk as often as I can, sure he knows that I can go faster, and won't be breathing heavy, but it's thrilling to me to have someone along for the walk. Find someone else who wants to get moving with you, YES it may be the fit person or the fat person but there is someone who will want to walk those extra steps with you.0 -
Hey, just think of the calories you burned from going up the stairs and the heat you let off being embarassed!!! There is your spring board to more weight loss. Send that guy a thank you note and love yourself enough to not worry about it.0
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i had a simalr experiance this past weekend when i got together with some friends... at one point we were all the same weight. now, im 150lbs heavier and there looking great.... it was definatly very embarrassing and i too was depressed, but i used my experiance as motivation. it had been 3 months since i last logged in to my fitness pal and now im back at it. hang in there girl! your at a prime age where losing weight it alot easier than older people.. little by little you'll get there!0
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i know how u feel.. i started out at 250... at 5'2 ... i am now 191 and getting lower. Motivation is the king workout and eat right then go back to those stairs in a month or so hugz 0
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I can relate to this a little too keenly, just the other day I went on a hike with my much fitter younger sister. I out weigh her by almost 100lbs and she's 2 inches taller. We had to climb stairs to the top of the escarpment before we could even begin our hike and by the time I got to the top I was seeing black dots. Yes, I have asthma, but it has never really prevented me from doing something in the past. I used to be really fit. That episode was just a reminder of how far I've fallen and how far I have to go to get back to where I used to be. I was extremely embarrassed whereas my sister, she doesn't care. She was just happy I did it. I need to stop using my fear of looking dumb due to my lack of fitness as an excuse to avoid exercise. Thats just a self defeatist attitude and I know the outcome of that. Much better to be embarrassed in the short term but successful in the long run, wouldn't you say?! Good luck, I know we can both do this! 0
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Use this as a starting point. 3 weeks ago I was out of breath walking up a flight of stairs. After being on MFP and exercising 5 days a week (3 intense) I can run the stairs no longer puffing.
Maybe being a bit older and male I don't feel embarrassed but just face the facts. True friends would swoop past me awhile I am puffing but so what just get ahead. Climb that stairway to heaven while on this earth.0 -
Argh. I've been in that kind of situation more times than I care to admit. But you know what? You have the power it make it better!
This summer, I was sightseeing with friends and we stopped at a lookout point with what seemed like a million stairs to the top. I bounded up them and didn't give it a thought. One of my friends was huffing and puffing and sweating. She had to stop part way up to rest. She's not overweight (but it seriously made me question the value of Curves that she is always going to). I wasn't breathing heavy at all when I made it straight to the top. I had never stopped before at this lookout point because I was always afraid of the stairs when I was at my heaviest. So things can change if you want them to. And they can change faster than you think.0 -
Someday you will look back on how this made you feel and you will be amazed at how far you come. Believe that. YOU CAN DO IT.0
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That embarrassment is exactly what you need to get motivated, unfortunately it takes certain situation to trigger your future success. I was shocked when I stood on the scale for the first time but it leads to motivation we all need.
^^ And that was his first post on MFP. Word up!! He's right. use it for motivation. You'll get there, short legs and all. Train your legs to be short, strong and mighty!!0 -
Don't beat yourself up about any of this stuff. Every day is an opportunity to re-invent yourself. Negitive thoughts are a hinderence to reaching your goals.0
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You have had a reality check and it hurts.
Now lock this experience away and use it as motivation to move forward. You are where you are today but next week, next month, next year is in your hands.
Good luck.0 -
Hey, I'm 5'2" and the heaviest I was at was 243 in May 2011 and I am now down to a little over 177 (granted i lost weight during the pregnancy but still. I went ahead and rejoined MFP after my son was born and after I couldn't breastfeed anymore). What i can say is that it sucked, but you are on this site, so you are making a step in the right direction. I agree with everyone else here: you will look back at on it and say "what on earth, why?" And you never know, one day you might be able to have a race with him and beat him up the stairs :bigsmile:0
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I feel really embarrassed when it shows how out of shape I am. It's obvious I'm overweight, and that's embarrassing in and of itself, but it's really awful when I have to do something in the presence of someone else who doesn't struggle with physical activity. I feel like it makes me seem even fatter than I come across if you just look at me.
I'm a 21-year-old female. At 5'2", I'm right around 200 lbs. I'm not sure I look like I'm 200 lbs., but it's obvious I'm not 100.
Last night, my older male friend who is 6'something and very slender offered me a ride home from the event we were at. He was parked on the 6th floor of the parking garage and insisted that we take the stairs because he was too impatient to wait for the elevator. It was 12 flights in total. At some point, I asked if he didn't believe in elevators. He said he routinely walked to his 10th floor office at work. I said "Yeah your legs are a lot longer than mine." And he said "But yours are a lot younger." I said it didn't feel that way sometimes. My legs felt wobbly around the 9th flight, and by the time I got into his car, I was breathing heavily. It took me a really long time to start breathing normal again, and my heart was still beating hard when I got to my apartment 15 minutes later. Meanwhile, he was completely fine.
I am so embarrassed that he saw how out of shape I am. Part of if motivates me because I don't want to feel this embarrassed around other people again, but another part of me is just really depressed about it...
Dont be embarrassed Lil One. Ima tell ya what my defining moment was...only I didnt pay attention.
A little over a year ago I started having trouble breathing. I was diagnosed with UARS, SDB, and Chronic Severe Asthma. I was immediately put on 2 inhalers, Oxygen at home and a Non Invasive Ventilator with O2 at night. My breathing didnt improve, in fact, now Im limited in doing things. I cant shop anymore, I cant do my own laundry or venture far from home for fear I cant or wont be able to breathe. Ive had all kinds of lung testings and cardio / heart issues. ALL the tests came back clear. I dont even have "smokers lung" and Ive smoked for years. (I quit too FWIW)
The struggle continued...Now the only place I do go is to work...every single day and even walking to and from my car is a struggle sometimes. I recover instantly the minute I stop moving...but its hard and it is embarrassing.
Then in July of this year I landed my big *kitten* in the hospital with a systemic bacterial infection, infectious cellulitis and a raging long standing UTI that I didnt know I had. I had IVs in both arms, a cardiac monitor, lung sensors, an O2 censor, a Co2 sensor on my top lip and full Oxygen. I couldnt get outta bed without help and it hurt beyond words because now I REALLY cant breathe. I also launched an episode of Chronic Vomiting Syndrome and puked 10 minutes out of every hour.....literally
ALL that to say..........I lost 15 pounds in 5 days and when I was discharged from the hospital after a week I went on to drop 35 pounds in the first month and have been losing since. On my first follow up after this I saw my own doctor who had a name for this thing I have causing me to have trouble breathing. The name escapes me but its partially from the weight and partially from a mold issue but what I wanted to focus on was THE MORE WEIGHT I LOSE THE EASIER IT IS TO BREATHE!!!!!
Huni...if I can do this thing........so can you ....come on now...dont give up. Let this and US motivate you
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I know that feelings so well. I often go hiking or jogging with a much fitter friend. I know my limits and that I can't push myself as much as she can. Instead of thinking about how embarrassing it is that I'm huffing and puffing or going much slower, I try to think about how it is helping me get healthier. Every time I push myself and am out of breath, it helps! In fact use it as a marker of your progress, maybe you get out of breath at 9 flights, maybe in a month it will be 10 or 11!0
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I'm the same way. I'm a 5'2 female, and weighed 207 pounds at my heaviest. In my case, it's not a one-time thing, either; at the beginning of every school year I start off so out of shape that I get to all of my SECOND floor classes out of breath, and it's really embarrassing walking into a classroom full of people and spending the first 5+ minutes trying to breathe normally. It has happened on other occasions, too.
The school that I go to now has a four-floor building (five if you include the basement) so sometimes if I have time I'll just run up as many flights as I can. If I did this on a regular basis, I'd be in better shape, and I wouldn't have a problem - but I'm not going into Chicago just to walk up some darn stairs! :laugh: There are places closer to home I could go to for the same free workout - like my dentist's building, which has 11 floors. Much bigger workout. Now if I walk there (three miles from my house) I'll REALLY get a workout!
Sorry about your embarrassing experience. You're not alone, and you can overcome it! Take care!0 -
That's the kind of thing you have to use to motivate yourself to make the changes in your life you want to make.
Do you want to be in better shape and thinner? I think the answer is "yes", so why don't you do it? Its hard work, if getting in shape was easy everyone would be.
You need to realize you're stronger than you think you are and you can make the change happen.
That's a great profile picture by the way, you look adorable, but if you're not happy with the way your life is only YOU can change it.0 -
that embarrassment is what keeps people from exercising and getting fitter i think. i know thinner fitter people probably assume it's laziness but it was definitely not wanting to be seen red faced and sweating and out of breath that made me avoid things for too long. use the motivation, it IS embarrassing. you can change it though. and faster than you'd think too. i did c25k this year and went from being puff out walking fast to being able to run for 45 minutes non stop in a matter of weeks. i no longer fear the stairs
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Your post made my heart feel very soft.
About ten years ago I was much heavier than I am now. I always had a feeling my friends disapproved although no one ever said anything directly. One day I was out for a walk with a friend and had trouble keeping up. I think he actually sped up a little, and he didn't say a word. His mouth got tight. I have often though he felt nothing but disgust at my struggle. We're still good friends, and I've seen a big change in him; after going through his own struggles I don't believe this would happen again.
Being heavy is not a moral failing, it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you - the real you, the you that is deep inside. I'm not as sure as everyone else that shame is a good motivator, I find it drives me right to the kitchen so I try not to indulge in it. I also think we can be healthy at a variety of weights as long as we're eating food that nourishes us and makes us happy, and fit exercise into our day. Every day.
Start small, breathe deeply, and take your first step.
best,
Janet0
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