Dealing with comments from other people

mem50

Amazing how people can and will say things like that. You want a certain weight? Go for it!

I can't even count how many times I have heard things like that. I've even been told I was too thin and put 10 pounds back on!

I would just keep on doing what you're doing, smile and ignore them.

manwithpans

Here's something to live by. Pay more attention to the mirror and less attention to the scale. This is your body. Your health so it should be your call on what you do with it. If you wanna lose more weight go for it but do it for you. If someone tells you something negative just blow it off and remember its you in that mirror not them. I person can be 400 lbs and be happy with themselves. Its up to them.

earlyxer

I began a thread similar to yours back in April or May. I wrote that no one you know will ever come to you and say, "Hey - you're looking kind of fat, you ought to back off on your portions sizes". That same person will have no problem whatsoever telling "You've lost too much - stop the diet".... I too got sick of hearing it.

Anyway - screw 'em. Do what YOU want to do. Until you actually start zoning into unhealthy areas (like low teens for women on your BF percentage) keep doing what you're doing.

Good luck.

Bernadettetoo

Here's my opinion--Who cares what other people think? If you know you're not where you want YOUR body to be, then fix it! It's your life, you deserve to be happy and you need to do what makes YOU sleep well at night. Give it your all and get to a place where you're completely proud of yourself :flowerforyou:

Congrats on your progress btw, that's amazing!! Keep up the good work!

I totally agree!

StyxxandStones

I get this all the time too. When someone says I'm losing too much, I just let them know I've talked to my dr, and he's good with me losing another 20 lbs. While this is true, I do not want to get to that weight. I think it would be too thin. But, knowing my dr. is okay with it makes me, and most others, okay with my continued dedication. I also usually tell them that I'm not planning on losing anymore, because I'm not.

Neequie

You need to do what makes you HEALTHY! So many confuse our being overweight with being about how we LOOK, and it isn't about that at all, it's about being HEALTHY! Tell them to MYOB!

JanaCanada

If I care about the person and feel they are doing something dangerous, like taking laxatives just to lose water weight, or doing some kind of fad diet, then I will speak up in a kind way. But losing 30 lbs. since August seems healthy to me. Your friend's/family's/co-workers intentions may be good, and they may even care about you a great deal, but no one has a right to be rude. There are other, better ways to express your concern for someone without making them feel bad (unless they are completely oversensitive, in which case, no matter how you say something, they will be defensive and offended). If they've hurt your feelings, speak up and tell them so, and give them a chance to either explain or apologize. Life is too short to hold grudges.

nonstopper

Look babe, I know haters very well. People are going to talk the talk but not back it up. And if you have someone (haha) saying you need to stop losing weight, then you need to tell them they need to Shut up and start losing weight if their going to talk to you. :bigsmile: There are a bunch of haters out there that wont like you for being better than them at something or having something they dont , which is the will power to keep taking care of yourself. Your doing great and dont stop at it for no one! Just be around people that want to do better. Unlike others that cant move their *kitten*. KEEP IT UP!

Dreamerlove

They say that because you let them. Don't let people treat you like that. Be you and its your body, get to the weight you decide and if you think its too low, then gain some back. I bet they are just jealous.

jigglewiggles

I think a lot of us are so used to looking at overweight people that they forget how fit people are supposed to look. Don't pander to their ignorance.

Yes for sure! And this really varies depending on where you live (some places just have "fatter" people per capita).

I agree, but I think it could be that they were so used to seeing the "overweight" version of you, that maybe they just need to get used to the new more slender you. : ) If you haven't yet reached your goal, I would continue with the journey until YOU are completely satisfied with how you look and feel. They will eventually adapt to the new you. Congrats with your weight loss, and good luck to you!!

zentha1384

I read my husband the quote from your co worker and he said "Replace 'Gaunt' with 'threatening' and it is probably accurate" Don't let other peoples comments get you down. What you should do is talk with your doctor. If they say you should stop losing weight then you should listen. If your SO is health minded and comfortable in your relationship then listen to them too. Otherwise ignore the negative comments, if someone gets negative with you say something like "Thanks for being concerned for me but I have talked with my doctor and I know what is healthy for me."

If they actually are concerned that should put their mind at ease, if they are just being jealous (and threatened like my husband said) then they will be more upset they are not getting on your nerves.

liesevanlingen

You could also try telling them "I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm trying to get more fit. It's health, not weight loss, that is my goal right now." That might help shut them up. Or you could say, "This is what I do and it works for me. Maybe you should try it, honey." Especially if they are on the heavy side.

Unkind, I know, but they really should mind their own business.

geebusuk

I've always got this a lot as I've got a naturally big build - body fat is now around 12.5% which is still far from 'fitness models' and a bit off most athletes.

The last person that relayed that someone else said I was looking 'gaunt' got the reply of "oh good, I'll take that as a compliment".

The problem is that if you look at a lot of it there's very little between a lot of us and those with an eating disorder - the main difference generally being the people on here generally are trying to do it to scientifically accepted standards.

In reality, most people that are saying things probably are trying to genuinely help - just they don't have the information we do to understand exactly what is right and wrong.

My plan is to gain muscle when I hit my target, but I'm determined to hit it regardless of how I look.
In reality, people are used to looking a certain will find it odd if you can fairly quickly affect a change.

Generally finding slimmer women more attractive I have to say that I've been impressed/interested in how different losing weight affects the way the face looks in the 'success stories' on here. Often that's the bit people really see and I'd never really considered how much it would change.

Currently I'm sporting a big bit of facial fluff, so a bit harder to judge how mine has changed - certainly be interesting when I come to remove it.

NaughtyForties

Go to the park.

Find a duck.

Take it home.

Put it on the kitchen floor.

Fill a glass with water.

Pour it on the duck.

Watch what the duck does.

Be a duck.

:laugh:

NatashaShen

If you are losing weight and exercising, being healthy about it and not starving yourself, then others have no right to tell you what you should do. Continue doing what you need to do to get to goal, and be proud of what you've accomplished so far. Sometimes, other people are more jealous than helpful.

Absolutely! I love this response.

jetscreaminagain

It is a sad truth that people--strangers, friends, family, whatever--feel that women's bodies are community property and they are fully free to comment on them. Whatever change you'd made to your body, someone would feel the need and right to comment about what their opinion is on your body, whether you want it or not, whether it is an informed opinion or not.

Sadly, people then have taken it further and they feel the need to legislate based on their opinions on how women they don't know should run their bodies. But. I digress.

Best to get used to it. It isn't ever going to go away.

MemphisKitten

They are totally jealous of you!! Ask them if they would like you to begin making comments about their bodies and they will shut up.

tbodega

I am 5' 7.5", and I began my weight loss journey on August 4th, I clocked in at 203lbs and 43.8% body fat, and as on November 12th, through both diet and exercise, I am 171lbs and 32.5% body fat. So even though I have lost 32lbs and 11.3% body fat so far, I am still in the overweight category for my height and age. I am happier with my body, but still want to loose more, as I still not happy.

The problem I am having is I am getting the classic comments of "I don't think you should lose any more weight, you'll disappear soon", and I even had a comment of one of my co-workers of "The other girls and I have been talking, and we think your starting to look gaunt, so I think you should stop losing weight", that comment took me back and made me doubt myself, but after asking my mother, my boyfriend and my best-friend about it, they assured me that I was looking fab.

I just don't know how to deal with the don't lose any more weight comments, yes there has been a change, I have lost 2 dress sizes, but I'm still classed as overweight, and 10 years ago I was about 140lbs and 2 dress sizes smaller again than I am now. I don't want to be super skinny, I am exercising in order to tone my body, and gain a bit of muscle mass too. I just want to be happy and healthy. Do I ignore the comments, back up why I need/want to loose more, or politely tell them to back off? Please help!!!

I deal with this all the time as well. Just continue doing what you need to do to make yourself happy. These are people who just aren't happy with themselves trying to drag you down.

fleur_de_lis19

I think sometimes people around us are so use to us being heavy/overweight that when we drop it and keep going, they think that we look or appear unhealthy. My opinion is that you get the the weight that you want and that is considered healthy by your doctor. GL and keep up the great work. When people say things like that, just tell them, that you are trying to get to a weight that is considered healthy, medically

ElizaRoche

Same here,I know how you feel..

Ive been losing weight, started around 200 lbs with my 1st gw of 135... Today I saw 133 on the scale and me, being all excited I told my mom about it (my 2nd gw is 120, im 5´2¨ so its perfectly healthy), and all she says is ´dont lose anymore, u look skinny already, what if u get anemia or something?´..... wtf?!?

My bmi is just under the limit of healthy, my sister is almost the same height as me and she is 115.. but still when I say about me hitting the 120, the ppl freak out :explode: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :grumble:

so damn frustratingggggg, im gonna do it anyway! :drinker: