My mom and sister are addicts.

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n2thenight24
n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
in Chit-Chat
They are both Heroin addicts, and have recently exacerbated the problem by moving in together. I want so much to help them. I hate watching them kill their selves. I have quit sending them any kind of money, which she used to guilt me into quite often. But I put a stop to that some time ago. I don't know what to do for them. I wish I had a million dollars so I could afford to put them both in a nice rehab. This is absolutely breaking my heart. If my Mom is correct, my little baby sister is sleeping with men for money/drugs. My sister has permanently lost custody of all three of her children, none of us will see any of them ever again. I need advice desperately. Is there some kind of rehab in the states that a state medicaid program will pay for? How does that work? I need to help them. I tried moving my sister in with me and paying for her to have outpatient treatment. But she left and went back to my mom and the drugs. I don't know what to do anymore.
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  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    They are both Heroin addicts, and have recently exacerbated the problem by moving in together. I want so much to help them. I hate watching them kill their selves. I have quit sending them any kind of money, which she used to guilt me into quite often. But I put a stop to that some time ago. I don't know what to do for them. I wish I had a million dollars so I could afford to put them both in a nice rehab. This is absolutely breaking my heart. If my Mom is correct, my little baby sister is sleeping with men for money/drugs. My sister has permanently lost custody of all three of her children, none of us will see any of them ever again. I need advice desperately. Is there some kind of rehab in the states that a state medicaid program will pay for? How does that work? I need to help them. I tried moving my sister in with me and paying for her to have outpatient treatment. But she left and went back to my mom and the drugs. I don't know what to do anymore.

    I'd start reporting them to the police. Court can mandate a rehab program for them to go to as a part of their release from custody. It may be the only thing that saves their life. People have to reach rock bottom and I guess they just haven't yet. Sorry you're going through this.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    http://www.soberrecovery.com/

    Lots of info on that site.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    I agree, get some evidence and call the police. They can do something about it.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    Unfortunately, no amount of rehab in the world will help until they're ready to give up the habit and sadly, that can be awhile.

    So sad you will never get to see your niece or nephew! :cry: Have you talked to family services about this?

    Calling the cops may help depending on where you live. It's not easy, I would suggest al-anon.
  • repmlrs
    repmlrs Posts: 154
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    yea i use to be addicted to meth. theres no helping an addict who dont wanna change. they gotta want to change for themselfs. and once an addict always. im still an addict but not a practicing addict been clean almost 6 years. hopefully they snap out of it.
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,142 Member
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    some states if you go to the DHS(or whatever it may be in the state) they offer free resources to drug/alcohol/behavioral/psychological problems.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    yea i use to be addicted to meth. theres no helping an addict who dont wanna change. they gotta want to change for themselfs. and once an addict always. im still an addict but not a practicing addict been clean almost 6 years. hopefully they snap out of it.
    Congratulations to you!

    To the OP...I agree with the others...if they get arrested for it, maybe they can start to get clean in jail. Its a start anyway.... Otherwise, I would suggest that you just distance yourself from the situation for now, and make it clear to them WHY you won't help them anymore (kind of like an intervention). Unfortunately, its a fact that you can't help anyone who isn't willing to help themselves :frown:
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
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    How can I get evidence?
  • n2thenight24
    n2thenight24 Posts: 1,651 Member
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    And I think my Mom is ready, my sister may not be, but I think my Mom would absolutely take the help if she could get it.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    How can I get evidence?

    with a camera phone? I think it depends on the local cops, but I know sometimes they don't want to see whats going on.
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
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    Regardless of what else you do, find yourself a really nice therapist, honey. :flowerforyou: Trust me, it'll help. You need someone to talk to who can support you and keep you sane.
  • porcelain_doll
    porcelain_doll Posts: 1,005 Member
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    You could call the A&E show "Intervention." If they chose to profile your mom and sister for an episode, I believe the station covers the cost of treatment if I am not mistaken. I don't know what your chances are, but there's no harm in trying.

    http://www.aetv.com/intervention/participate/

    Good luck.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    Wow, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know it is very hard to watch loved ones consumed by addiction. Please continue to be tough and do not give in. It may be harsh but court mandated recovery may be the only answer. You are doing it for them and one day they will understand. Again I am very sorry. If you have a faith, cling to it, because tough times will continue to come.
  • FrenchMob
    FrenchMob Posts: 1,167 Member
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    Like some have already mentioned. Until they hit rock bottom, it doesn't matter if you put them in the most expensive rehab center in the world, it's not going to help. All you can do is not be an enabler by giving them money to buy the stuff. This applies to any addiction like alcohol, gambling, etc etc.
  • MemphisKitten
    MemphisKitten Posts: 878 Member
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    You can't help them until they are ready. But you need to be prepared for the worst. You can offer to help them, but they will probably refuse. I am a recovering addict, and I made the decision myself to go to treatment; I have also relapsed several times. My drug of choice was opiate painkillers, similar to heroin. Just remember that addiction is a disease of the brain. It does not mean your mom and sister are "weak" or anything like that. You can go to the Medicaid website and see if a certain type of treatment is covered, and then you have to check with the treatment facility if they accept Medicaid. There are also certain programs that will cover most of the cost if the person has not been in treatment previously. Call around to the treatment centers and ask about those things, they will be able to tell you more. Also entertain the idea of doing an intervention and preparing to send them each to a separate facility. When they are together, they will continue to become sicker, but if you separate them, they have a fighting chance of getting better. But only if they want to.
  • knk1553
    knk1553 Posts: 438 Member
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    yea i use to be addicted to meth. theres no helping an addict who dont wanna change. they gotta want to change for themselfs. and once an addict always. im still an addict but not a practicing addict been clean almost 6 years. hopefully they snap out of it.

    First of all, congrats to you on 6 years sober!

    To the OP - DONT call the police, you can call the police and send them to rehab 50 million times but yet if they don't want to change and become sober, they won't, it'll just push them away from you and cause even more tension in their relationship.

    You can provide them with resources, talk to them, and see if they'll see someone specialized in substance abuse treatment and motivaitonal interviewing for some psychoeducation on what they are doing. Unfortunately until they are ready to change, they'll just waste money an go to rehab for 30 days to detox and then be sent home and start using again, and the cycle will repeat. However, if they are ready to change, most programs accept medicaid and you can contact medicaid for a list of approved resources.

    Calling the cops is just going to put charges on their records that is going to make it extremely hard for them to get a job or anything once they get out of jail, rehab, etc. I intern at a non-profit state funded facility that provides career assessment and assistance services to persons with disabilities (mental, physical, developmental, intellectual, substance abuse) and you have to really get creative at finding jobs for individudals with a criminal record, especially those with drug charges, so honestly, I would highly suggest against that.
  • AllTehBeers
    AllTehBeers Posts: 5,030 Member
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    How can I get evidence?

    Just call and report crazy noises, smells or you think the house in on fire. Call every day.
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    You could call the A&E show "Intervention." If they chose to profile your mom and sister for an episode, I believe the station covers the cost of treatment if I am not mistaken. I don't know what your chances are, but there's no harm in trying.

    http://www.aetv.com/intervention/participate/

    Good luck.

    This was the first thing I thought of too.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    Regardless of what else you do, find yourself a really nice therapist, honey. :flowerforyou: Trust me, it'll help. You need someone to talk to who can support you and keep you sane.

    Agreed. Regardless of what help you are able to get them, or not, you need to take care of you. They have Al-Anon for family members of alcoholics, so I'm sure there is something available for family members of drug addicts.

    And you need to know that you may not be able to help them. And even if you do get them help, it may not work or it may not last. But that doesn't mean it's your fault.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    How can I get evidence?

    Just call and report crazy noises, smells or you think the house in on fire. Call every day.

    I wouldn't recommend this approach. The best thing to do would be to have an honest conversation with a law enforcement officer about the activity in the apartment and what you know is happening. Chances are, that will be enough to get them to take action - especially if you are willing to be a witness/provide a written or taped statement.

    But just keep in mind that by turning them in to law enforcement, you are accepting whatever happens. They could be arrested, put in jail, given heavy fines or time to serve. It's not always as easy as a judge ordering treatment. It really depends on the prosecutor, the judge, the local court system, and what treatment options are available in your area.

    And yes, I work in law enforcement.

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