How the eff does one approach an attractive women?

TylerJ76

Try, "Hello, How are you today?"

It really is that simple..

if you go up to a random girl and say that they will just say "good" boom end of convo....unless you kind of push the convo more and say " my days good too i got to do all these things today........" then you're good.

Well, yea...I mean there has to be SOME effort on our part..

CaptChad75

I find a burlap sack and furry handcuffs and a little bit of ether works. I always have a bottle of propel water (usually kiwi strawberry)ready when they wake up to get the ether taste out of her mouth. They are usually grateful for the furry handcuf because it doesn't cut into them when they struggle. I even have a little vanity set aside with a brush and some extra makeup so they can freshed up a little. (i find the burlap sack messes their hair and smears their mascara and you know attractive women are sensetive about messy hair) Let me know how this works for you.......... actually don't tell me how this works for you this conversation never happened.

clobercow

Walk up. Smile. Stand tall. Chin up. Speak with authority

"Hello"

"What's your name?"

"My name is..."

"Are you having fun/good time"

"Me too. Blah blah something about the environment"

"Wan't to come with me for a drink/food/dance or what ever the activity is"

"Tell me about yourself"

Wannabeachday

First remember no one is too attractive for you to talk too. Be yourself and listen to her. Don't look at her boobs while talking to her and don't EVER take advice from a "baller". They might get *kitten* but not a meaningful relationship. Respect her and yourself. The little things are what count too.

trophywife24

With a smile.

Don't look scared. While that's sort of cute, it's also sort of sad. Practice your schmoozy side-grin.

_Timmeh_

Ask if she is going to walk to her car by herself later. Then say I'll be over here watching you all night.

JenMcCrory

i like saying "you look pretty" really quietly, and when they say "what did you say" i respond with "i said you look sh*tty! goodnight denise!" and run away to my home to practice karate

I just burst out laughing, see this would totally make me laugh and work on me.

Just goes to show everyone likes something different so don't stress it you won't get all of the girls all of the time but you will get some of the girls some of the time!

magj0y

This is a little long, but it is what I have learned as a woman over the years.
1; any woman who is snotty is not worth your time. Before you approach a woman, look at how she treats others around her.
a; is she smiling
b; do people in her group like her or is she just a 5th wheel. (sometime this is ok, so long as she's having a decent time)
c; is she checking other people out. You have to kinda sit back and watch, we're VERY sneaky about this. One of them saw you walk in the door, so they know you exist.
***When you walk into a party/bar you need to walk tall, with confidence (real or not) and a happy smile. Even if you just tell a joke on your way in to get your friends laughing, you will be noticed by more women. I'm not sure how much I can stress the fact that one of us in our group always has our eye on the door to watch everyone come in. You have our undivided attention from afar for about 15 seconds. If you have potential one of us will be checking on you, seeing who you check out, how you treat your friends and staff. We know when you're watching women whether you think you're being subtle, we know. I'm aces at carrying on full conversations and doing spot checks all. night. long. It is sooo much easier in a bar that has TVs for sports. really. If you get caught, make the best of it.
d; what does her body language say? If she has her arms crossed a lot, she isn't very open and receptive. (or she's cold)
If you're able to make eye contact with her, nod and give her a short smile. just sit back and see what her reaction is. (just because she laughs loudly doesn't mean she dislikes you.. some of us just laugh loud for other reasons.

when you approach her, you have 30 seconds to make her laugh and buy you another 3-5 minutes which needs to include a not so cheesy compliment. This is by far the hardest thing to figure out because every woman is different. I have a sick and twisted sense of humor so what might work on me would be disastrous for others.
If you came up to me and said "So. what's a classy lady like you doing in a dive bar like this?"
I would probably shoot back with "Who told you I was a lady...? As if it were the worst thing in the world to be,, just to see what your reaction would be. You have to be on your toes to deflect whatever comes your way. If you use a line like that, you don't know what will be given back. Karaoke bars can be good, even if you suck at singing. We get a lot of "hey.. you gonna sing tonight? pleeease?" My standard response is I really really suck at it and it could lead to catastrophic consequences if I sing.
Even if it's a simple "So my friends and I are thinking about these 3 songs but we can't decide.. so we thought we'd see if you'd like to pick" You will get shot down about 50 times for every time you get anywhere. It's the nature of the game. (please do not ever ever do sweet caroline)
You need to come up with some things to talk about when you approach a lady. a way to do this is when you're going about your day think about what you'd say or how you'd compliment the ladies that you pass.

A lot of guys don't approach a pretty woman because they think they don't have a shot in hell. This actually gives you an advantage to being one of a few guys who has the balls to talk to them. It's awkward at times... just keep doing it. That one girl you decide not to give a chance might be the girl who is open to a possible date.

Also; ways to avoid being that "creepy guy"
Too much eye contact can get creepy. The other sunday this guy would sorta walk to our corner, he'd give me this look, look out the window, turn around, look at me again and then continue back to wherever he came from. Then towards the end of the night when the table next to us was vacant, he sat down. Then he got up and sat in the chair closest to me. With out saying a word.
dude..if I wasn't married and he had actually said something.. I probably would have been nice to him! I will say, being flanked by 6 guys, it's a miracle ANYONE talks to me!! I'm of course always polite.. but the dude was creepy. No creepy stares. It's like the 3 second rule. Eye contact for more than 3 seconds is staring especially if you don't smile.

I hope some of this helps you. if there is one piece of advice I hope you take is what I said about walking into a bar/party. confidence, smile, posture. Being second in line with your friends is your best position. we judge the first guy, we judge him by who follows second.. the rest kinda get over looked if the 1st 2 aren't interesting. We might get back to your group..but not if it's crowded. If you see a group of 3 girls... you should def. give them a 2nd thought. Always check to see if they're married before you hit on them. if they are, you def. do not have a chance with the other one.
If you can get any sort of conversation going, avoid yes/no questions!! always go for open ended questions and banter.

MoreBean13

1. Find common interest.
2. Talk about that.

You said you're in to video games- not my cup of tea, but I bet there's girls that are in to it. I bet if you start a topic on here looking for others interested in whatever game you play, there would be attractive women that respond- just to give you a sense that they're out there.

NormalSaneFLGuy

from behind

kramalicious

A sense of humor will go a long way! Don't compliment the obvious, tell her you like her earringsor kicks instead and ask if she minds if you ask where she got them. If she has great hair style, ask where she gets it cut, then tell her your friend/sister/etc got a bad haircut and needs help. . Best is to find someone someplace you like to frequent, such as game store, bookstore, library, dog park. Good luck. Don't try to be too cool or slick, it is a turn off and sounds fake. If you get on elevator first, ask her what floor you can punch for her. Open door if she's approaching it with hands full- "let me get that for you". Common courtesy is good ice breaker. Good luck.

ldrosophila

Do it online. Go into one of those chat sites or get onto an online game that women actually play.

christine24t

Just DO it. You would be surprised at how many attractive women are not often approached by men. They will be seriously flattered that you are asking and just think that you made her day, even if she ultimately rejects you. If you aren't a creep about it, it will be a serious boost to her self-esteem.

Notice how I'm talking about the effects on the girl? That is what you need to focus on to get over your self-consciousness. Focus on the other people's feelings and not what they think about you and you will take risks you never could before.

That is a great piece of advice.

If you approach a girl and are cool about it, she is going to leave feeling happy, even if, like the above poster says, she ends up rejecting you. It might happen a few times before you get a response. But she'll leave thinking, "wow, I wish other guys were like that." It definitely gives you credit, and other guys will have to work that hard to impress her.

Plenty of times I've seen cute guys out, and a couple of times they've seemed interested back, but I've never been approached. Wish one guy had the balls to approach me, even if I didn't end up liking him.

beach_please

Confidence is good but don't overdo it. Coming off too cocky can be a huge turn-off, in my opinion. Just try to be yourself and make her laugh... girls love funny guys.

christine24t

d; what does her body language say? If she has her arms crossed a lot, she isn't very open and receptive. (or she's cold)

Or she is just shy...I would try and discern shy vs. aloof.

A lot of guys don't approach a pretty woman because they think they don't have a shot in hell. This actually gives you an advantage to being one of a few guys who has the balls to talk to them. It's awkward at times... just keep doing it. That one girl you decide not to give a chance might be the girl who is open to a possible date.

Very true.. choose a girl who you think is attractive and try it out. And be open to other girls. Like I said in my above post, I'd love to get hit on but it just never happens for me. If a guy actually hit on me, I'd be super-flattered.

MemphisKitten

All you have to do is exude confidence, whether you have it or not.

avir8

Such a shame, you're such a cutie. I suggest having some questions in mind ready and see if you spark some common interests. (if you see she has some music playing on her phone or if she has seen the latest movie that came out) Then get her number!! Maybe then you could text her and ask if she wants to go get coffee or ice cream

Just asking takes some b*lls and if she's not a B**** she will appreciate the attention you give her. :flowerforyou:

ETA if all else fails get a cloth* and ask "Hey does this smell like chloroform to you"
hahaha jk

LorinaLynn

Whatever you do, don't do those PUA techniques. Women can spot them a mile away.

This.

Here's the simple truth. Smile and make eye contact first. If you can't make eye contact and/or she doesn't return your smile, don't approach her. She's not interested. Why she's not interested doesn't matter. She could be in a relationship. Her cat could have just died. She might be a b-word. Maybe she's about to be deported. You don't know, and it doesn't matter.

If she does make eye contact and return a smile, that means at very least she's friendly and would likely be open to starting a conversation. Introduce yourself. Make some idle conversation about your surroundings. If that's really hard for you, consider taking a public speaking class. I was a member of Toastmasters for a while, and that really helped me overcome shyness and gain the ability to talk to anyone about damn near anything.

Remember that the conversation is just a way for BOTH of you to see if there's a spark there between you. If there's compatibility and chemistry and attraction, you'll proceed forward. If there's not, there's not. She might not feel a spark. You might not feel a spark. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or her, just that you aren't right for each other.

purrywinkle

When approaching a woman I suggest greeting them with a bow and whispering sweet nothings into their ears. It's what the Old Spice guy would do.

KenDubya74

Steathily, in the shadows as a ninja...

DerpdyHerp

don't listen to women, they lie about this topic. this is a game of numbers. It only takes one. Consider them practice girls when they turn you down. You do better next time. Soon you land woman. It happens, just be patient.

soehlerking

I was bartending, and my one-day-to-be-husband wrote his number on the receipt with a crappy tip, waited till I was in the back, and ran out the door so he wouldn't have to face potential rejection. It was just so hilariously poorly done, I had to call him. Even awkward approaches can lead to happy-ever-afters.

TheFitHooker

I know where I work I have some really either drunk brave guys or just guys with confidence who will flirt hard with me. I have a regular who comes in every night, he has made it clear he comes in to see me but last Friday I had a friend that was laying it on him hard and he kept checking me out. He knows I'm married lol. So I think it's confidence because while he might not be ALL that to look at, if I wasn't married there is something about him and I'm guessing the confidence that kinda makes me crazy.

heidiberr

Be yourself. Be geuinine. Be confident.

I am a sucker for a guy who can make me laugh.

The guy I'm dating now--when we first started talking (online) I wasn't sure if I was interested. However, the first time we hung out he made me laugh, engaged me, and made sure I knew he was focused on me (despite working as a bartender as we were talking.) and because he was being himself, nothing has changed

You got this.

saxmaniac

1. Never ask women for advice. Ask men you know who have actually attracted women successfully, who have the type of relationship that you want. As in: if you want a girlfriend, ask a man with one. If you want a wife, ask a married man who hasn't been divorced. If you want a FWB, ask a man with one, or a few. People will give all sorts of ****ty advice when they have no experience or clue.

2. Be upfront about your intentions. Do not try to befriend her platonically and then wait for feelings to grow. This used to be called "courtship" years ago, but now it's called "creepy".

3. Expect rejection and accept rejection with a cool, no-problem, see you later, attitude.

4. Ask her on a cheap, low- or no-cost date. Ice cream. Coffee. Biking. No dinners, movies, or any place boxed in. Be specific about an activity, date, and time. Worst thing you can say: "Would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Spartan_Maker

"Hi, my name is ...." usually works.

runs4zen

Well, you've got a lot of folks here who have given you great advice on the approach.

Here's something to think about as well: what have you got to offer a good looking, smart, self-reliant woman? (We're subtracting all women who do not at least fit the self-reliant part here. Stay away from them unless that's your thing.)

I suggest (and please, it's all my own opinion): Be employed...if you're not in your "career" yet, at least be working on that goal. Have some knowledge of current events beyond sports and entertainment and be somewhat well-read. Be polite and flirty but do not be a scum and start in with the sexual innuendos and do not try to touch her. Be accountable--if you say you're going to call, then call within a couple days. If you're not going to call, don't take her number. Being straight up with women is A-okay.

If you're over 23 and are not in college, then live somewhere other than home. Grown women aren't looking for boys. They are looking for self-reliant men to partner with whom they do not need to mother. Don't forget to be well-groomed and wear matching clothes in good repair.

You don't need to be rich, the most handsome guy in the joint, have the fattest wallet or anything like that. You just need to be real, be attentive without being boorish, be neat and clean, have something to converse about, be accountable and be self-reliant.

That's my two cents and I think I just spent it here! Good luck! You're a cutie-pie and some girl will snap you up in no time if you work a little at it!

WeekndOVOXO

Here's a repost from another thread.

Reading through the recipe section of MFP message board and there was a question about why this mothers son can't find a girl since he's a "nice and shy guy."

I can't stand this.

It upsets me, because I used to be THAT type of guy and at times I still fight with that guy(looking at a girl I'm attracted to, automatically assuming I'm no good.)

I remember being awkward, shy, nervous, worried, sweaty when being approached or approaching a girl.

It took practice, but I managed to change myself(primarily after getting dumped by my ex.) Although I was always assured of myself and had some sense of humor.

Few notes for kiddos out there:



Be confident. When I say this I mean don't have your head down when she looks at you, have something to say if she talks to you. Do you see a girl that you like? THEN APPROACH HER. Woman want the best, so be the best you can be. Showcase your swagger. You have value, why does she deserve you?

Dress proper. Looks don't really matter, but if you're wearing something like it came out of your parents class of 79' photo then chances are you crapped the bed. Doesn't mean to wear prada, gucci and $200 cologne. I like vnecks, skinny jeans, toms for casual. Button down/cardigan for clubbing. Still trimming down to get into blazers.

No girl is special. LEARN TO GET REJECTED. Deal with it. Ask yourself what happened, how I can do better and MOVE ON.

Don't put her on a pedestal. She's not the end all be all. Your life doesn't revolve around her.

Practice. Talk to girls. This isn't something that we are born with. It takes time, trial and error. When I mean talk to a girl, I don't mean talk to some girl that you want - right away. I mean talk to the cashier, bank teller, movie attendant, barista, classmate. Build yourself up so you don't get as nervous and transform yourself to a more seductive, charming man. It DOESN'T happen overnight just like a healthy life style. Elevate your social skills. Go somewhere where your attributes can be noticed and feel more comfortable at first. Smart? Library. Buff? Beach. Dancer? Club. Musician? Concerts/Live bands.

Body Language. Look at her directly, not like a criminal, but with some suave, don't put your hands in your pockets, smile, have good posture(straight, elbows back)

Talking to her: Be cool. Now I don't mean having the latest apple product. I mean be assertive of yourself, be calm, relaxed, nice, fun, open to new things. This is where confidence really comes into play. This is where your mindset should be saying you're the man, and she's lucky to be talking to you NOT the opposite. Get her to talk. Lead on conversations(making sure you're in control), don't let her stop, unless she asks you a question then you answer it and follow up with another question. A good opener is always helpful. Make her laugh. Backhand compliments are great if you know how to use them. Being an *kitten* helps. Woman enjoy an *kitten* opinion and thoughts because they don't always correspond to theirs and it creates sparks. I don't mean be a ****, I mean be playful. Listen to what she has to say. LISTEN. LISTEN. That's how you have a conversation and follow up on things. Store something she has said and keep it with you. Mention it later on. Woman love that. Stop talking about yourself. Stop bragging. Have flow in your conversation. If she's talking about dogs, don't mention your friends dog died. NO. STOP. I like to mention my name in the end, adds mystery.

Make sure she's interested. Eye contact. Eye contact. EYE CONTACT. Chances are if she's looked at you a couple times, she's looking for you to talk to her. Girls don't show interest like men. They're subtle. If she's playing with her hair. If she's smiled, a comment, etc. Okay you've now talked to her for a while and it's going well? Don't know if she's willing to give you her number/ interested in you? Few things to look out for... Leaning towards you, starts asking you tons of questions, blushing, tone of voice, posture. You can go for the kill by getting close saying something, if she doesn't reject what you said go for a kiss. If she does reject you. Chin up. Sometimes even with all of these hints she could just be an attention *kitten* or a tease. There's more out there.

Again don't be desperate, kiss *kitten*, try too hard, and being scared of who you're naturally supposed to be - a man.

Most importantly be yourself. Be comfortable with who you are. Do some soul searching. Don't live someone else's life. Don't make it all about someone that can hurt you, mistreat, you and eventually break you. Have self-respect. Love yourself because you are so ****ing worth it.

nphect

It really helps if you find a good conversation starter. At a bar, sit near the girl and ask her what kind of beer she's drinking (assuming it's obviously not Bud or Miller) and if it's good, or cheer along with her if there's a sports game on, or say "I overheard you saying _" if she says something you could comment on, ask her to take a picture of you and your friends and then talk to her after... Anything to just get her attention and then get a conversation going. If she very obviously doesn't want to engage you in conversation, move on, but otherwise just start talking to her. If you click, ask for her number.

Sometimes it's easier to meet someone not at a bar - we feel less like you're trying to get in our pants and more like you may be interested in us. If you see a girl at a coffee shop reading a book you've read, ask her how she likes it. But whatever you do, be friendly and not creepy.

Girls like free drinks. Money helps.

the guys are trying to get into your pants because your trying to get into their wallets.

ali_b83

If you can find the confidence to talk to a girl and make her laugh, you at least have a chance. Humor is at the top of the list for every girl I've ever known. Makes a guy so attractive.