Single girls I need advise....

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  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    nnoooo, dont mess him around by cancelling and things like that. we women hate it when men keep us hanging, yet we think nothing of doing the same to them!

    why dont you suggest meeting for a drink or coffee or even lunch rather than a romantic dinner? the guy's already bought you flowers which suggests that he is investing something in this. if you want things to slow down, then make some suggestions as well :smile:

    also, i would def offer to pay on your date - regardless of whether he accepts it or not, if you are planning on seeing other guys, it's only fair to do so.

    hope you have a great time!

    He asked me out for dinner. To be honest I just thought dinner no biggie but when I found out where he had made reservations and then the flowers that freaked me out. I think your suggestion of paying for my dinner is great but the issue is won't that offend him since he knows I know its a date. Okay can you tell I am really bad at this????

    Anyone else have an opinion on this? Should I offer to pay for my own dinner?

    first thing when he picks you up, run through the following checklist with him:

    1) did you bring whips, chains, and nipple clamps or should i go get mine?
    2) do you have condoms? if so, how many? 3 dozen should be about right for tonight.
    3) what's your safe word?

    :bigsmile:

    ok, all kidding aside. just go on the date and have fun!!! he's just trying to impress you, not proposing marriage. if he asks for another date, say "yes" if you want to, but remind him that you're just getting back into the dating scene and not looking for a relationship right now. that's all.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    I definitely second this. WHen he brings it up I would say something along the lines of "I just got out of a really long serious relationship, and while I value your friendship quite a lot, I need some me time to reevaluate my life and get my head on straight."

    Any guy worth your time will understand that. If he gets upset, then you'll know right away that he's no good for you, as a friend or otherwise.

    too many words. men don't parse words the way women do. when you explain too much it makes it look like you're trying to not hurt our feelings. all she needs to say is this.

    "thanks. i had fun. i'm not ready for another relationship right now, but if you wanted to ask me out again, i'd be happy to accept."

    there is ZERO chance of confusion or hurt feelings with that.
  • thoseblueeyes
    thoseblueeyes Posts: 812 Member
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    nnoooo, dont mess him around by cancelling and things like that. we women hate it when men keep us hanging, yet we think nothing of doing the same to them!

    why dont you suggest meeting for a drink or coffee or even lunch rather than a romantic dinner? the guy's already bought you flowers which suggests that he is investing something in this. if you want things to slow down, then make some suggestions as well :smile:

    also, i would def offer to pay on your date - regardless of whether he accepts it or not, if you are planning on seeing other guys, it's only fair to do so.

    Thanks for the laugh let's hope he has a sense of humor like you but without the sex toys.

    hope you have a great time!

    He asked me out for dinner. To be honest I just thought dinner no biggie but when I found out where he had made reservations and then the flowers that freaked me out. I think your suggestion of paying for my dinner is great but the issue is won't that offend him since he knows I know its a date. Okay can you tell I am really bad at this????

    Anyone else have an opinion on this? Should I offer to pay for my own dinner?

    first thing when he picks you up, run through the following checklist with him:

    1) did you bring whips, chains, and nipple clamps or should i go get mine?
    2) do you have condoms? if so, how many? 3 dozen should be about right for tonight.
    3) what's your safe word?

    :bigsmile:

    ok, all kidding aside. just go on the date and have fun!!! he's just trying to impress you, not proposing marriage. if he asks for another date, say "yes" if you want to, but remind him that you're just getting back into the dating scene and not looking for a relationship right now. that's all.
  • natalienicole502
    natalienicole502 Posts: 268 Member
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    You've received so much good advice already.

    Definitely don't stress and enjoy being treated the way you deserve with or without exclusivity.

    Btw, I read the first part of your post as 24 hrs not yrs. I was like, "whoa!!! Look at you go!!!" ;P
  • Captainobvvious
    Captainobvvious Posts: 272 Member
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    This is a first date and no matter how well it goes you're under no obligation to go on a second one. So there is literally ZERO commitment here past the first date. There is no assumption of exclusivity, no commitment, nothing...

    He is hoping that he impresses you so that you will go on a second date with him.

    Just go, have fun, don't be anxious... If you feel that you don't want a second date after this one then don't go. You're not under any obligation to pay for your meal, again his buying you a meal is just that, buying a meal not a second date.

    He sees you for the catch that you are and is pulling out all the stops ... Don't worry about it! Have fun!
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    It's just a first date. Albeit, the flowers and super romantic dinner spot are a little intense. But, hey, why not enjoy it? We always complain we don't get that stuff and then, when it happens, it freaks us out.

    There's no obligation for a second date if you don't have fun, but go in open minded. And, just be honest. If you aren't into it, and he wants to see you again, tell him you don't sense a romantic connection.

    In regards to the bill, I always offer to pay half. If I'm really not into the guy at all, I will insist.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I haven't read all this, but kudos to dude for going after what he wants and not being a total *****.
  • BlackStarlight
    BlackStarlight Posts: 554 Member
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    Hey,
    I think firstly you need to enjoy the dinner you have planned with him, accept the flowers with a smile and then, go from there. See what happens when you meet up. Enjoy the fact there is a guy doing something really nice for a first date :smile:. If you don't have fun, you don't have to have a second date, and even if you do, you don't have to jump to being in a relationship. :smile:
    My advice just enjoy saturday
    And see what happens after that :flowerforyou: xxx
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    too many words. men don't parse words the way women do. when you explain too much it makes it look like you're trying to not hurt our feelings. all she needs to say is this. "thanks. i had fun. i'm not ready for another relationship right now, but if you wanted to ask me out again, i'd be happy to accept." there is ZERO chance of confusion or hurt feelings with that.

    'Zactly. You don't hurt a man by being honest and direct, you hurt him by being indirect and vague and hoping he gets the idea and never saying what you mean.

    The fact that he's doing flowers/dinner already indicates he's sort of clueless about how to plan a fun, low-pressure date, and is likely more serious than you.
  • WhatDoesLisa
    WhatDoesLisa Posts: 214
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    I wish I had that problem. I usually get the guy who wants to meet me at the restaurant and split the check.

    Consider yourself lucky that he is a gentleman!
  • thoseblueeyes
    thoseblueeyes Posts: 812 Member
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    QUOTE:



    QUOTE:


    cougar on the prowl...



    Cougar???? really I am that old to be called a cougar? oh that made my day!:


    your age is hidden and you said you haven't dated in 24 years... besides nothing wrong with being a cougar... if your hot enough to get a younger dude if that is what you wanted use it to your advantage


    Thanks for the compliment ( I think..ha) Also thanks for everyone's advise and comments. I'm just going to enjoy the night and not stress about this anymore. Sounds like everyone is also on the same page that I should offer to pay for my meal. I will definitely offer that. I'm so glad that you can post something like this and get feedback and support when it has nothing to do with diet or exercise..Thanks guys !!!!
  • amann1976
    amann1976 Posts: 742 Member
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    what kind of man would make a lady pay for her meal on the first date even if she offered
  • kls13la
    kls13la Posts: 377 Member
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    I don't think you should offer to pay. It's a first date, he's already sent you flowers, and he picked the restaurant. I think your offering to pay could be awkward.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    I don't think you should offer to pay. It's a first date, he's already sent you flowers, and he picked the restaurant. I think your offering to pay could be awkward.

    i'd say this is correct. the guy asked you out. if you try to pay, he'll likely interpret it as you friendzoning him. let him pay. if you like him and want to see him again, maybe make a small joke about how you'll pay next time.
  • thoseblueeyes
    thoseblueeyes Posts: 812 Member
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    I don't think you should offer to pay. It's a first date, he's already sent you flowers, and he picked the restaurant. I think your offering to pay could be awkward.

    i'd say this is correct. the guy asked you out. if you try to pay, he'll likely interpret it as you friendzoning him. let him pay. if you like him and want to see him again, maybe make a small joke about how you'll pay next time.

    That's also a great suggestions.....hummmmmm you gave me more to think about.

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