Diabetes & Depression (with S.A.D.) - the vicious cycle

missmindy6

So I have been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes (since '99) and Major depression (also since '99 - bad year). The diabetes is all over both sides of my family, so with the way I ate & never exercised it was like as certain as death & taxes. The depression I feel I can trace back to the hysterectomy I had to have in '99 & never took hormone replacements for - I went off the rails. On top of the depression I have Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) - which just means the seasons & weather have a HUGE impact on my mood. Gray days suck the life out of me, and sunshine makes me happy. (Yes I use light therapy & vitamin D - not a lot of help.)

The problem is that when I'm depressed I do a lot of emotional eating - especially turning to comfort foods which (for me) are carbs & sugar. Which raises my blood-sugar, which causes increased mood swings, which makes me more depressed & leads to more emotional eating.... My biggest problem is impulse control - when I"m upset I don't stop to think, I don't CARE to stop & think - I just am upset & want something to ease the pain. Like any other kind of addict (drugs, sex, gambling, religion - pick a crutch) I don't want to FEEL the pain, I want to press it under what makes me feel good. Bury it in food.

My therapist says the true problem isn't impulse control - it's that I don't love myself. I love others, I know I AM loved - but loving myself is my biggest challenge. Just wanted to hear from others who are dealing with this cycle and see if you had some input that might help. I keep eating when I KNOW I'm not really hungry - but I am CRAVING and so I fill the hole with food & the craving shuts up. Until 30 mins later when I'm hating myself for pigging out, my feet are in pain (diabetic neurapathy) & swelling from water retention, my belly is painfully over-stuffed, and I feel sick. Even when I know how it's going to end, I do it time & again - which only makes me hate myself more.

paxbfl

I like how you're addressing the root causes of the problem instead of just wrestling with the symptoms as most people do. You're already heading in the right direction.

I also like how you recognize the cycle. Now turn the cycle around. Eat healthy, exercise, lose weight, feel better, feel better about yourself, recommit to a healthy lifestyle and start the cycle over again.

Consider this... as humans we are never standing still in once place. We are either moving forward or backward. Either you are getting healthier, leaner, happier or you're getting sicker, fatter, and more depressed. Work to make each day a positive day that moves you in the right direction.

Now one practical question... do you eat small meals throughout the day? Small meals help keep your blood sugar more stable to reduce cravings. I typically eat 5-6 meals a day... dinner is usually a little larger but the others are small meals that are about 1/7 of my daily calorie goal. I find this helps a lot... otherwise I'm just out of control... wake up starving, eat a big breakfast, get tired and bloated and feel bad, then get hungry again, eat a big lunch.. etc. By eating regular small meals I feel more "level" and in-control and my energy level is more consistent through the day.

Are you exercising? That helps my mood more than anything. If you get a sunny day take a walk in the sun - that would help everything all at once!

Where do you live that S.A.D. is such a factor? I know people in the Pacific Northwest suffer from it - this week's rainy weather a good example. Here on the East Coast the weather is typically cold but there's lots of sunshine. I try to get out in it as much as I can - sometimes I have to remind myself as I'm busy doing other things... and the sun is only out for so many hours in the Winter (as you know!).

I hope that helps!

missmindy6

I live in NW Ohio - it's not been gray too often yet, but we certainly have very gray winters here. And I have been trying to force myself to eat smaller meals more often throughout the day instead of 3 BIG ones. It's hard 'cause I'm not necessarily hungry after 3-4 hours but if I wait until it's been 5-6 hours I"m RAVENOUS and, of course, make poor choices. I bought a lot of healthy snacks last time I went grocery shopping, and I don't have anything "bad" in the house. No candy, cookies, sweets of any kind. Worst I do now is just over-eat or "snack "on toast - and it's always 4 pcs of toast slathered in butter. I do go for walks every day - I have 2 dogs and I promised them 2 walks of 15 mins each per day. Once in a while I break that promise & they get 1 - but generally I'm very good about it. For me to get out & walk in the cold (which I despise) is difficult, but I do it for them. Working on loving myself is the hardest part. I am posting signs around the apt today to remind myself. I have had signs up about positive thinking, I"m going to add some more. Gonna "fake it til I make it" as the saying goes. Thanks for the reply!