I can't figure out my feelings towards my boyfriend... :/

JessiLovesBlue
JessiLovesBlue Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
We've been dating for about a month now, and I'm still not sure about my feelings for him. You see, he's super sweet and treats me really well; but I'm confused. He makes me laugh all the time, I'm always smiling when I'm with him and there are times when my stomach kind of jumps. (Not like butterflies, but just kind of a jolt-like feeling) However, there are other times when I'm not sure about it, I'm not sure if I'm even attracted to him and I don't really get turned on when we kiss and stuff. I didn't really want to say yes at first because I was scarred of getting strapped in and I felt like if I said no I'd be disappointing my friends, which were now his friends. He smokes weed and gets drunk and I was fine with it at first, as long as he didn't do it around me, but I think it's starting to control the way I see him. I CAN'T stand kissing him after he's smoked, even if he's brushed and smoked way earlier, I can still taste it. *BARF* He said he loved me after one week of dating and two weeks of knowing each other. I said it back, but I don't even know if I meant it or if I do love him. I'm really confused. . . I do love him, he's a great guy and all, but I keep having all these doubts about it and I feel almost. . . sad after saying it. Help? {Please, Please, Please don't be to harsh on me guys. . I'm learning and I'm trying to understand my feelings. Help?}

Replies

  • Rhia55
    Rhia55 Posts: 247
    This question doesn't have much to do with motivation for getting healthy or weight loss, but I'll give it a stab.

    I'd say if you have doubts, put the brakes on. There are always doubts when you're in a new relationship but if you're this unsure of your feelings toward him, think it through and take some time before encouraging him any further, or you're just going to hurt him, and I'm sure you don't want to do that.

    Try just being friends with him for a while.
  • amann1976
    amann1976 Posts: 742 Member
    you are to young to be committed to one person... play the field until you are at least in your mid 20's. spend this time getting to know you and developing a future for yourself
  • jadeaudrey
    jadeaudrey Posts: 22 Member
    Maybe you're just meant to be friends. I think physical attraction is important in a relationship. You need to think about where you want to go with your life. Do you want to further your career, buy a house, travel, have kids? Then you need to think would you be able to do these things with him? Is he motivated in his life? Honestly I think you know the answer that you seek, but are afraid of disappointing his friends and hurting him, and are needing others to justify your thoughts. I hope you figure out what you need to do, I sincerely do xx
  • mhorn2142
    mhorn2142 Posts: 319 Member
    Here is the motivation I can give: Slow it down. decide what you want. Write it down. Decide what are your deal breakers. Don't settle. You will never be happy if you do. I don't know if you have a weight problem that makes you think this is your only shot, but regardless of what may make you think that, I promise its not your only shot. You will have a lifetime to meet people.
  • liftingheavy
    liftingheavy Posts: 551 Member
    Your gut never leads you wrong. Women who ignore their instincts usually regret it.

    If you are only a month in, have a conversation with him about what is bothering you, and make your decision to stay or go immediately after his response.

    All the best!
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Deactivated. Don't waste your time.
  • skittles1928
    skittles1928 Posts: 57 Member
    People who say I love you after one week of dating when you obviously don't feel that way (yet) can end up being really needy and possessive.

    You sound like you aren't all that into this guy (at least romantically). Try taking it slower and taking a break from the relationship.
  • skittles1928
    skittles1928 Posts: 57 Member
    Deactivated. Don't waste your time.

    I don't even get why people do this. -_-;;
  • jeleclekat
    jeleclekat Posts: 124 Member
    troll - she deactivated.
  • rjo921
    rjo921 Posts: 130
    You have answered your own question....if you do not like his drinking or smoking weed...then you should just quietly end it. It sounds as if those two things are deal breakers for you. It's OK to still be friends, but nothing more.
  • shortmama28
    shortmama28 Posts: 17 Member
    If you are already having doubts after a month i say get out while its easier to leave him! Later on down the road it will not get any easier. If there are things you just cant live with then dont settle.
  • rjo921
    rjo921 Posts: 130
    People who say I love you after one week of dating when you obviously don't feel that way (yet) can end up being really needy and possessive.

    And I agree with this quote....if he is telling you he loves you after a week.....then run the other way....FAST!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    The OP deactivated.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
    I think you should start by deactivating your account.
  • ChristyRunStarr
    ChristyRunStarr Posts: 1,600 Member
    Deactivated. Don't waste your time.

    Darn...this seemed like it could have been a fun post :devil:
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I think you should start by deactivating your account.

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  • timmymon
    timmymon Posts: 304 Member
    It's cool, we can still be friends OP
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Deactivated. Don't waste your time.



    Phew. That was close.


    Just kidding. I wasn't going to respond to OP anyhow.

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