Loving yourself

notenoughspeed

From someone who was told the same things growing up by my peers (You're such a fatass. You're a POS, etc...) I've grown a bit in my life since those horrible days of childhood. Take some time to work on yourself, both mind and body. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you ARE worth it. You ARE a great person. Keep working on numero uno. Don't worry about the rest of the world. Being 20 means you're old enough to venture into the world, and choose who you want to surround yourself with. If the influences in your life now are negative, get rid of them. That may have to include family (sure hope it's not). Best wishes to you on your path to mind and body recovery.

AmberJo1984

i use a good, unscented lotion to love myself.

Ridiulous.

Ridiculously funny.

I would have stuck with the ridiculous, but adding ridiculously insensitive......

Agreed with this. Insensitive.

Liveformiracles

I have to say that I have always felt the same things. More so with loving and accepting my own appearance. I have emotional beak downs sometimes over it because I keep it all inside..I feel I have co e a long way by using positive thinking and looking for help in my social worker especially. But it lingers and likes to come up even when there are so many other things for me to be happy about. Support helps a lot, reading what people have to say here has made me smile. Never let anyone tell you that you are less than what you are, that you aren't good enough or put of place. Everyone has a place in this world and no one has the right to say otherwise. Treat others with the level of respect and caring that you would like from them.

MsMary123

attitude reconstruction.......please google these two words togther....it is a FB page.

This has helped me tremendously. After so many years of verbal abuse I too felt ugly, stupid, and unlovable.

Everyday that you wake up you should thank the lord for your life and know that you are special, good, and loving.

God did not create any ugly people. It is just how you preceive yourself....

Good luck pretty girl

crazybookworm

First off, I'm so sorry to hear that people have said those things to you! They have been said to me in the past as well, and I know how painful it feels. Unfortunately, you begin to believe those hurtful words. Whoever says those things steal a little piece of you each time.

I have never really Loved myself until now. It was when I started to be selfish and take care of myself that I realized I am worth it, and I am a hell of a lot better than those jerks who told me I was no good. If you believe their words, you are letting them win.

It's not a fast process to work on yourself and to learn to love yourself. It takes one day at a time. You need to give yourself that time. Take some time to talk to yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you ARE worth it. You are BETTER than them. You WILL succeed in everything you set out to do. I know that may sound cheesy, and you may feel a bit funny doing it at first, but believe me, it works! And pretty soon you will enjoy that quality time with yourself. You'll start smiling at yourself, and pretty soon you will start to love that reflection of yours!

Hang in there!!

necie75

It looks like you are off to a good start(I looked through your pics)I love the new hair color.You have to completely change your view .I figured out that I'm my own worst enemy.I beat myself up more than anybody else ever could. I took a good look at myself a few weeks ago..and yes I'm overweight.But I have more good things going for me than that 1 thing and I can fix that...and I'm worth the effort.Surround yourself with positive people and get rid of the negative ones.The first things that I did when I started was colored my hair,bought new clothes and make up.It was small things but it gave me a boost.Don't be so hard n yourself...Oh and your eyes are gorgeous:)Don't give up!

anemoneprose

I wish I'd known, when i was younger & feeling really similar, how much of a difference styling can make, both for your own self-perception & others' responses. It's not superficial - how we dress affects how we behave, and our expectations. & by taking control (to the extent it's possible) of perceptions, we feel more in control.

The most attractive women I've known totally worked their own beauty, and didn't try to fit into some mold they couldn't.

For example. I just looked at some of your pics, and you have gorgeous cheekbones, beautifully shaped almond eyes, and very pretty cupid's bow lips. Play this stuff up!

And, look for inspiration in healthy places - ie, look to women with your silhouette or features. It's ok to copy them a bit, until you figure things out for yourself.

edit: internal work is more important, of course, but other people touched on that.

I would say in general, it is much better to work to your strengths, rather than try to correct weaknesses. & putting yourself in situations where the things you're good at are valued, & cutting out jerks, is really, really important.

phatgirl4

I am sure you are a beautiful person in and out .!! everyday of my life someone has said something rude to me,smart off to me, even my ex husbands family would say something to me about my weight or my teeth or clothes. I just couldnt please them . I came to realize thatt people are like this and they say thing to make you feel bad because it makes them feel better , how people sleep at night i will never know....I think You are BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jworb

I definitely second the recommendations of professional help. Therapy can do wonders, and many areas have programs for free or low-cost mental health services for the uninsured.

That said, there are also a number of self-esteem workbooks you can do at home that are probably inexpensive via amazon (but make sure you buy new because someone else may have filled them out already, which would be distracting).

deseraeloves

i use a good, unscented lotion to love myself.

Ridiulous.

Ridiculously funny.

I would have stuck with the ridiculous, but adding ridiculously insensitive......

Agreed with this. Insensitive.

I think you guys are misunderstanding my point of quoting it in the first place. It is ridiculous. And there's a lot more that you can add to the description of that statement, most unsupportive. But while I was getting all serious and choked up in this feed, literally, because that's something I struggle with too, I've come to abpoint where I literally hate myself and my body, that quote changed my mood and made me chuckle.

So I just hope noone mistook that as me being insensitive as well.
I just figured, while that guy was most likely trying to be a jerk, I figured is let him know his mission failed in my eyes because I was not offended lol

deseraeloves

Self love is hard; I've always come from a place where everything directed at me was negative... It's affected me in all parts of my life: my job, my marriage, my Christian walk, because I never feel good enough.
Lately its gotten me to a point of feeling hopeless, which is why I've decided to make changes, starting with how I look, and treat my body...

I feel one small step towards respecting .my body and self is one step closer to loving myself..

yoovie

By doing the things you love.

Not by saying I love myself.

Actions speak louder than words.

In everything.

Words are wind.

prokomds

I'm sure you'd be surprised if you looked at all the nice, normal, older people around you and found out how many of them had self esteem issues when they were younger. I don't know... I think it's something just about everyone goes through at one time or another. I know I had my time, especially when I was around 18-19

I think what I noticed is that I was the worst when I had the least to do. If you get out there and do things you enjoy, well, you tend to not think about all the negative stuff so much. I'm not sure many people actively think about how they love themselves, it's more like, they're living their lives and not worrying about it.

I'm no pro, but that's my two cents. Hobbies help, realizing which choices are bad for you and not making them helps, and (sadly for MFP) spending more time out in the world and less on your own in front of a screen helps

yoovie

I'm sure you'd be surprised if you looked at all the nice, normal, older people around you and found out how many of them had self esteem issues when they were younger.

It doesnt go away with age, it goes away with mental strength and the fortitude of an unflappable sense of self.

Every phase in life will put you somewhere where you will doubt your worth - you have to practice healing the source of this inferiority - not the triggers. That's working backwards.

ryansgram

You have BEAUTIFUL EYES!

prokomds

I'm sure you'd be surprised if you looked at all the nice, normal, older people around you and found out how many of them had self esteem issues when they were younger.

It doesnt go away with age, it goes away with mental strength and the fortitude of an unflappable sense of self.

Every phase in life will put you somewhere where you will doubt your worth - you have to practice healing the source of this inferiority - not the triggers. That's working backwards.

Fair enough. My self esteem issues went away with age, but also with the simple realization that I was worrying about all these things that no one noticed or cared about. Obviously everyone has their own journey/struggles to deal with

FlyByJuly

You are 20 years old. I turned 54 today. For 2 months now, I've been getting professional help. I highly recommend it. This isn't something that you can "fix" on your own.

Do it now. You're so young. Please don't let the next 30+ years pass you by without getting help. You are worth it. I'm just now finding out that I am worth all those things I felt unworthy of having/doing.

I was a victim of physical/emotional/verbal child abuse by my alcoholic father. I didn't even know that all the negative feelings I held about myself were pounded into me by him. I'm now, at 54 yrs old, fixing all the stuff that he fukked up.

You can't go wrong by seeking help. I wish you well. And I do care.

Just wanted to add...I've lost/gained/lost weight over the years, and one thing I learned; no matter how I felt/looked physically, I still felt the same inside. Precautionary tale, I guess.

yoovie

I'm sure you'd be surprised if you looked at all the nice, normal, older people around you and found out how many of them had self esteem issues when they were younger.

It doesnt go away with age, it goes away with mental strength and the fortitude of an unflappable sense of self.

Every phase in life will put you somewhere where you will doubt your worth - you have to practice healing the source of this inferiority - not the triggers. That's working backwards.

Fair enough. My self esteem issues went away with age, but also with the simple realization that I was worrying about all these things that no one noticed or cared about. Obviously everyone has their own journey/struggles to deal with

OR maybe you deal with the source and not the symptoms maybe perhaps ZOMG IM SORRY I IMPLIED YOURE DOING IT RIGHT! You might be wrong! im sorry! You could totally be wrong!

we should absolutely disagree here.

anemoneprose

I was worrying about all these things that no one noticed or cared about. Obviously everyone has their own journey/struggles to deal with

This is really important. People may make judgements (or even comments), but they're rarely invested in them. Most people are mostly worried about themselves, most of the time. It's easier to dismiss negativity when you remember that.

I agree that in-the-world, measurable accomplishments build confidence and self-esteem more effectively than anything. However, we also have to live in our bodies, and whether we want to or not, have feelings about our physical appearance. I think taking control of some part of this, and even having fun with it, can be really empowering.