Loving yourself

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Replies

  • deseraeloves
    deseraeloves Posts: 18 Member
    Self love is hard; I've always come from a place where everything directed at me was negative... It's affected me in all parts of my life: my job, my marriage, my Christian walk, because I never feel good enough.
    Lately its gotten me to a point of feeling hopeless, which is why I've decided to make changes, starting with how I look, and treat my body...

    I feel one small step towards respecting .my body and self is one step closer to loving myself..
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    By doing the things you love.

    Not by saying I love myself.

    Actions speak louder than words.

    In everything.

    Words are wind.
  • prokomds
    prokomds Posts: 318 Member
    I'm sure you'd be surprised if you looked at all the nice, normal, older people around you and found out how many of them had self esteem issues when they were younger. I don't know... I think it's something just about everyone goes through at one time or another. I know I had my time, especially when I was around 18-19

    I think what I noticed is that I was the worst when I had the least to do. If you get out there and do things you enjoy, well, you tend to not think about all the negative stuff so much. I'm not sure many people actively think about how they love themselves, it's more like, they're living their lives and not worrying about it.

    I'm no pro, but that's my two cents. Hobbies help, realizing which choices are bad for you and not making them helps, and (sadly for MFP) spending more time out in the world and less on your own in front of a screen helps
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I'm sure you'd be surprised if you looked at all the nice, normal, older people around you and found out how many of them had self esteem issues when they were younger.

    It doesnt go away with age, it goes away with mental strength and the fortitude of an unflappable sense of self.

    Every phase in life will put you somewhere where you will doubt your worth - you have to practice healing the source of this inferiority - not the triggers. That's working backwards.
  • ryansgram
    ryansgram Posts: 693 Member
    You have BEAUTIFUL EYES!
  • prokomds
    prokomds Posts: 318 Member
    I'm sure you'd be surprised if you looked at all the nice, normal, older people around you and found out how many of them had self esteem issues when they were younger.

    It doesnt go away with age, it goes away with mental strength and the fortitude of an unflappable sense of self.

    Every phase in life will put you somewhere where you will doubt your worth - you have to practice healing the source of this inferiority - not the triggers. That's working backwards.

    Fair enough. My self esteem issues went away with age, but also with the simple realization that I was worrying about all these things that no one noticed or cared about. Obviously everyone has their own journey/struggles to deal with
  • FlyByJuly
    FlyByJuly Posts: 564 Member
    You are 20 years old. I turned 54 today. For 2 months now, I've been getting professional help. I highly recommend it. This isn't something that you can "fix" on your own.

    Do it now. You're so young. Please don't let the next 30+ years pass you by without getting help. You are worth it. I'm just now finding out that I am worth all those things I felt unworthy of having/doing.

    I was a victim of physical/emotional/verbal child abuse by my alcoholic father. I didn't even know that all the negative feelings I held about myself were pounded into me by him. I'm now, at 54 yrs old, fixing all the stuff that he fukked up.

    You can't go wrong by seeking help. I wish you well. And I do care.

    Just wanted to add...I've lost/gained/lost weight over the years, and one thing I learned; no matter how I felt/looked physically, I still felt the same inside. Precautionary tale, I guess.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    I'm sure you'd be surprised if you looked at all the nice, normal, older people around you and found out how many of them had self esteem issues when they were younger.

    It doesnt go away with age, it goes away with mental strength and the fortitude of an unflappable sense of self.

    Every phase in life will put you somewhere where you will doubt your worth - you have to practice healing the source of this inferiority - not the triggers. That's working backwards.

    Fair enough. My self esteem issues went away with age, but also with the simple realization that I was worrying about all these things that no one noticed or cared about. Obviously everyone has their own journey/struggles to deal with

    OR maybe you deal with the source and not the symptoms maybe perhaps ZOMG IM SORRY I IMPLIED YOURE DOING IT RIGHT! You might be wrong! im sorry! You could totally be wrong!

    we should absolutely disagree here.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    I was worrying about all these things that no one noticed or cared about. Obviously everyone has their own journey/struggles to deal with

    This is really important. People may make judgements (or even comments), but they're rarely invested in them. Most people are mostly worried about themselves, most of the time. It's easier to dismiss negativity when you remember that.

    I agree that in-the-world, measurable accomplishments build confidence and self-esteem more effectively than anything. However, we also have to live in our bodies, and whether we want to or not, have feelings about our physical appearance. I think taking control of some part of this, and even having fun with it, can be really empowering.

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