Telling your parents...

2

Replies

  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    What's unhealthy? Does it have lead paint?
    Is it raw chicken rolled in dirt? Tubs of "bad fat"? Marshmallow pie?

    Very few things are truly unhealthy. It a question of quantify and variety - if you eat giant cheeseburgers evey night - yes unhealthy but mostly due to the quantity not the actual food.

    My daughter tried to tell me that tortilla and avocado soup was "unhealthy" - home made tortillas, tomato stock ... Let's say her education has been improved.

    There are times when parents do prepare poor food choices.

    The place to help make dinner decisions is before we have spent energy and time preparing the food. If you don't participate in the process, you should voice any criticism or dislike with the respect and attention deserved to someone who has worked to put the food before you. You can always say, "thanks you, I appreciate it but this is to much for me." Propose to help.

    ^^^ This, pretty much!

    And beware that 'unhealthy' and 'high calorie' can be totally different things, especially if you do choose to cook for the family. If you try feeding 'diet food' to someone who does not want to lose weight, they may leave the table unsatisfied.
  • divacat80
    divacat80 Posts: 299 Member
    I agree with those who said that helping in the kitchen would be the best idea. Have you tried talking to your family and announcing that you're starting a healthy lifestyle and wanting to commit to it? have you told them what you think about their eating habits? are they willing to accept your lifestyle change?
    if so, and if they're not interested in changing THEIR way of life then your best option would be to help in the kitchen by cooking YOUR OWN meals.
    You need to learn how to cook to eat healthy, and even without a lifestyle change in mind, you DO need to learn how to cook. Given that they don't want you to change their habits, and knowing that whoever is doing the cooking in the family shouldn't get a double workload in the kitchen by making you a separate menu... make your own meals!

    Eating high-calorie food but in the 'right' amount to not to sabotage your calorie intake set for losing weight, can make you feel quite hungry. you would be eating the correct amount of calories but you would go over on the fats, sugar and sodium (possible cholesterol as well).
    So you might need to change your daily menus. It's not necessary to become "orthorexic" to lose weight and be healthy, but you do need to eat more homemade meals.

    You'll learn a new skill, and you'll have the satisfaction of having cooked your own meal, you'll adapt the food flavor to your taste as you get more skilled, and you'll know -almost-exactly what's on your plate.

    Who knows? your family might even follow your footsteps.

    You'll have to be extra strong to not to touch whatever they are eating these days! but you can do it!

    I'm sure your family wants what's best for you, so I bet it would only be a matter of just telling them that you want to be live a healthy life.

    In your first post you sounded like you were afraid they might overreact, I hope I'm wrong :)

    I saw that you posted this on my newsfeed yesterday, but I couldn't find the post since I was using my tablet. So sorry for not replying to this post sooner! :)
  • boatsie77
    boatsie77 Posts: 480 Member
    What does your family think of the food that you buy and prepare?
  • When I lived w my fam. I'd offer to cook healthy meals or cook for myself.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
    Don't talk about it. You don't have to explain anything.
  • obsidianwings
    obsidianwings Posts: 1,237 Member
    I would try having a general conversation with them about what you are trying to achieve. If it makes no difference then its either time to start sorting out your own food, or just eat smaller portions of what they provide.
  • dukslayer4051
    dukslayer4051 Posts: 66 Member
    i grew up in a fat family, i am by far the most health concious and slender (but not nearly skinny) in my entire family. as a result, i am having to figure out this whole eating healthy now as an adult...im having to reprogram my body to eat right. make the right choice now, it will last a lifetime!
  • CandyAppleCockers
    CandyAppleCockers Posts: 74 Member
    I'm an adult.. but I'm back at home after a second round of schooling. I went keto while home around a year ago. I put items I want on the grocery list, try to go with my mother and help her shop.

    I offer to prepare meals and sometimes cook differently for myself at the same time.

    If my Mom cooks she knows I don't eat high carb veggies like corn, and don't take the starch, but I would never say to her her cooking isn't healthy. It just doesn't align with my goals. hen I eat more carbs I feel unwell.
  • KrazyAsianNic
    KrazyAsianNic Posts: 1,227 Member
    this is difficult becuase you don't want to hurt them either. if you have money to buy your own food, then maybe it's best just to make your own food.

    one thing that worked at my parent's house before I moved out on my own was asking them if I could do the grocery shopping and cook dinner. They would tell me what they personally needed adn I would cook dinner.
  • CynthiasChoice
    CynthiasChoice Posts: 1,047 Member
    Just tell them you do not want to eat junk because you're trying to lose weight or something.
    I'm sure they'll understand.
    Please don't use the word "junk" to someone who has just worked to put food on the table! You'll get better results by complementing the healthy food on the table.
  • repmlrs
    repmlrs Posts: 154
    just say " awww man dis taste like sheet mane. i aint gonna b eating dis crap!"
  • Small portion of it to be polite and fill up on veges

    Offer to cook!!! I was cooking dinner reguarly by the age of 14 - you will need to be doing it eventually, so start early.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,426 MFP Moderator
    One extra note, with only 10 lbs to lose, you should set your account to 1/2 lb per week. As your body gets closer to a normal weight (not your goal weight), your body will require more food to sustain your body. Also, you should track protein instead of sugar as protein is critical to maintaining lean body mass. And if you aren't weight training/exercising, you should start. It will also allow you to eat more calories which can make up for your parents cooking if it actually is "unhealthy".
  • ckmama
    ckmama Posts: 1,668 Member
    No thank you
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
    Have a smaller portion, fill up on veggies or make your own meal. :)
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    Tell them before they cook it, or even buy it where possible. Nobody appreciates wasting money.
  • it is def an obstacle if ur family isnt behind you, but really you won't know until you atleast bring it up. maybe you could eat smaller portions and add a vegtable instead of a carb they may be making. If your able maybe do some of your own grocery shopping or ask if they would mind you going along and pick some things out. anyways your doing great and look awesome. congrats !
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Volunteer to cook everyone dinner and make it healthy and get tehir feedback...
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    A couple of things come to mind.

    I'd probably do it 1 step sooner and ask if you can add a few things to the grocery list, or help with the week's meal planning.

    But, I'd NEVER ask them to cook something special just for me. Either eat what they make, or make something for yourself.

    Or, if you're that worried about their reaction... learn how to eat during the day so whatever they make for dinner fits into your cals/macros. Then it's not an issue.
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    Luckily, my parents are really supportive. When I became vegetarian 5+ years ago, they made a serious effort to start buying me tofu, veggie burgers and hummus. It was cute that they thought that's all we eat!

    Now, I just cook for them and they think everything I make is "fancy". You can help open your parent's eyes to new foods, too!

    I agree with others said; offer to help! Make a really healthy side dish or a salad. You can still eat a portion of what your parents cook but fill up on the salad you made. Balance!
  • firefoxxie
    firefoxxie Posts: 381 Member
    I sort of forced/influenced my family to eat healthier. When I started my weight loss adventure I looked for more healthy alternatives and researched a lot. Whatever I found out I shared with my mom. She started realizing we were not eating that great and so our shopping list has changed! Before the slow progression I would make my own food with what we had in the fridge and bring it to the table. It was weird eating apart from the family but I soon become accustomed to it. Now my family eats like me!
  • Rachlmale
    Rachlmale Posts: 640 Member
    By the weight you've already lost I'm assuming your parents have noticed, surely? In which case it's a little unfair they would cook unhealthy meals knowing you've done so well. If the meal is already there, eat it this time, I could never turn down food but afterwards talk to them and be frank with them, tell them that tea wasn't healthy and you'd appreciate if they could be supportive of your choices. If they're unwilling to make changes to meet your lifestyle, ask them to get stuff so you can make your own meals. I imagine it to be hard living at home if other people aren't making the same lifestyle choice as you.
  • shoneybabes
    shoneybabes Posts: 199 Member
    Cook your own dinner. That is what I had to do and still do.
  • T1mH
    T1mH Posts: 568 Member
    Do your parents think your getting to thin? I'm 40 I've lost thirty pounds. I don't live with my parents but my mom hassled me recently about being to thin. I'm in the best shape I've been in my life. I'm stronger faster and have more endurance than I did playing football in high school. I think I've got another 20 lbs to lose and she declared I'd look emaciated if I get down to that weight. Most of my relatives are overweight. If your parents think your goal is to thin your going to have a tough time convincing them to change anything or in supporting your eating habits.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Either you eat less of what is made or you cook yourself something else. It's not your parents responsibility to cook for you when you are an adult. I wouldn't suggest bringing it up when dinner is already on the table. Does not matter what it is, if they cooked it for you then saying something when it's already on the table is incredibly rude.

    This is a conversation that has to happen at another time. I'd explain what you are doing and either offer to chip in for food that meets your goals or let them know that you will be shopping for and cooking your own food.
  • I just have a small portion of it or tell them that I'm very grateful for what they've made but I can't eat it because it's not healthy for me.
  • You could offer to cook for them sometimes, but if your stuck eating what is cooked then just make a few changes. If everyones having pizza for example, have one slice and a side salad rather than a few slices. Or have a smaller portion and fill the rest of your plate with some veggies.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    You could try my method-- I just announce how many calories, fat grams, milligrams of sodium, sugar grams ect. are in a given food to everyone at the table and then opt to eat something else. I'll usually sum up with statements like: "This one will cause diabetes, this one will cause heart disease, this one will cause stroke, this one will cause cancer...Ah! Here! this one will give tons of vitamins and lean protein!"

    I'm a riot at parties...:tongue:
  • ashleydmassey
    ashleydmassey Posts: 106 Member
    I have teenagers and if they told me they wanted to eat healthier, I'd be ecstatic! Luckily for us all, I've made those changes myself. Good for you, for realizing health matters now! Hopefully they will be supportive in your endeavor and they, too, will join you in eating better. Good luck!
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
    If you do not want to eat your parents' dinner, simply tell them so and exactly why.

    From there, explain you're more than happy to make yourself something and will clean up after yourself as well.