Spouse or better 1/2 support

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G__Force
G__Force Posts: 280 Member
in Motivation and Support
Just curious how many people out here get true support from there spouse or other half. I'm asking because my wife is not that supportive of the whole thing and i'm not sure why. Dont get me wrong she seems to like the change but does not really want to give support like cooking healthier meals, or asks if i would you like deserts. I can handle most of it but when i start talking about my exercises or what i'm doing to get healthy or how i'm progresing I get the dear in the headlight look and the subject gets changed. I try to involve her because i want somone to workout with or even just go for a walk but i wont get a responce. She is on her own diet program which consists of eating once a day and ?? she has lost some weight which I have let her know she is looking great but still very little support back at me.
I do have few wonderful friends on hear that support me which I am so greatful for, thank you for your help!!.( I can alway use more)

Replies

  • envy09
    envy09 Posts: 353 Member
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    Hold on, you only eat ONCE a day!?

    For the love of god why!?
  • G__Force
    G__Force Posts: 280 Member
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    No I eat 3 to 4 time a day, my wife only eats once a day. its the way she want to do it?
  • shawnteahsing
    shawnteahsing Posts: 53 Member
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    My husband is my best supporter!. He never puts me down.I know that he loves me has I am. If i'm feeling tired and don't want to go to the gym, he asks me if thats a good choice. If he's cooking and how he cooks isn't healthy for me he will cook something different for me. We don't really see alot of each other and he knows how important it is for me to go to the gym. He NEVER complains!
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    Ok, i would not critique your wife in how she wants to lose weight - but obviously she is wanting to right? I am surprised that she would not return the support. Perhaps you can ask her why?

    During one of my attempts to lose weight in my past, my boyfriend would sabotage me and my efforts by picking up fast food, getting junk food..etc. This time around - he is a lot better about that. I think for him a lot of it was fear. He could have been scared that if i lost weight i may

    - find someone else
    - pressure him to lose weight
    - would not have someone to eat crap food with him anymore

    maybe some of these are the reasons why your wife is not supportive of your efforts as well? More than likely, she is scared...or jealous?
  • envy09
    envy09 Posts: 353 Member
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    Oh thank god. I totally disagree with eating only once a day, but I'm glad it's not you doing it.
  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
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    My husband isn't so much supportive as he is stationed overseas, but in our communications he is very supportive. He doesn't like going out to eat because of the cost and when he is home he doesn't really cook. When I'm back to cooking for him, too, he'll find himself on a diet of lean meats and fresh vegetables unless he wants to learn how to cook something other than chili.
  • 10manda86
    10manda86 Posts: 229 Member
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    my boyfriend is very supportive... he is also on a health kick and maybe i could complement him a little more too! he is trying to bulk up... im trying to slim down so cooking in my house has to be a happy medium!!! lol personally my motivation is that the better he looks the better i have to look because i dont want to lose him... i know he wouldn't but if a cute little thing is shaking it in his face it would be easier to resist if he has a cute little thing to shake it for him at home any time he likes!!!
    i think your wife is scared of what I have just said...she doesn't want to lose you
    i dont think her eating plan is overly healthy sounding and to me is a recipe for falling off the wagon majorly!!! maybe sit with her tell her you want to do this together, that you believe it will make you a stronger and healthier couple in my ways than just looks!!!!
    most importantly remind her you love her always xx
  • G__Force
    G__Force Posts: 280 Member
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    My husband is my best supporter!. He never puts me down.I know that he loves me has I am. If i'm feeling tired and don't want to go to the gym, he asks me if thats a good choice. If he's cooking and how he cooks isn't healthy for me he will cook something different for me. We don't really see alot of each other and he knows how important it is for me to go to the gym. He NEVER complains!



    We dont see much of each other either. I work days and she works nights so i cook most of the time for me and the kids, but she can cook very well but she likes to cook really rich foods.
  • G__Force
    G__Force Posts: 280 Member
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    my boyfriend is very supportive... he is also on a health kick and maybe i could complement him a little more too! he is trying to bulk up... im trying to slim down so cooking in my house has to be a happy medium!!! lol personally my motivation is that the better he looks the better i have to look because i dont want to lose him... i know he wouldn't but if a cute little thing is shaking it in his face it would be easier to resist if he has a cute little thing to shake it for him at home any time he likes!!!
    i think your wife is scared of what I have just said...she doesn't want to lose you
    i dont think her eating plan is overly healthy sounding and to me is a recipe for falling off the wagon majorly!!! maybe sit with her tell her you want to do this together, that you believe it will make you a stronger and healthier couple in my ways than just looks!!!!
    most importantly remind her you love her always xx


    Thanks, I do tell her multiple times a day that i love her and need and want her. So i think im ok there, maybe even to much sometimes. but your right about her eating habits, but she is stubbern and like to to things her way. so that will be a challenge! I'm willing to try just about anything to get her on the same page.
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
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    I don't get any support from friends or family. They get really akward if I say anything about it, probably because they could all use to lose more weight then me. I think that they believe that I will judge them or tell them to change themselves...

    My husband is a sweetheart. He just tells me that I am beautiful no matter what and he thinks I'm sexy as hell. That is great, but not very motivating. If everyone thinks I'm good the way I am, why should I work my butt off? I have very healthy weight goals, and my stretch marks would like to differ on me being the weight I should be..
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    When I first started out, my b/f was less than supportive because I have yo-yo'ed several times and always gave up. But this time, he sees my determination....my commitment....and the results and has become VERY supportive now. He asks if I have weighed out my portions before he takes his own food, he compliments me and has been talking me up to his family. But he has no weight problem and, therefore, feels no need for competition or joining in. I wish he WOULD just take a walk with me once in awhile but I know he works hard and 6 days a week and is tired when he gets home. He gets his exercise at work so I go it alone in that respect. But at least he supports my efforts.
  • RobynLB
    RobynLB Posts: 617 Member
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    My boyfriend says I have a "horrible diet" and I "work out too much," but he loves my body, so he can't have it both ways. I just remind him that not everyone can have a six pack while eating 5 lb burritos every day and working out once a week, and if he wants me 15 lbs heavier (in all the wrong places) then I can stop.
  • alisiaendris
    alisiaendris Posts: 213 Member
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    My husband tells me that he loves me no matter how I look, but also compliments me on my progress. Best of all, he will honestly help me critique new recipes. He has never complained about me coking differently in an attempt to make recipes healthier (that I think is the best support). What is really nice is that he loves to watch me work out! That is a good motivation to get up and move!
  • G__Force
    G__Force Posts: 280 Member
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    My boyfriend says I have a "horrible diet" and I "work out too much," but he loves my body, so he can't have it both ways. I just remind him that not everyone can have a six pack while eating 5 lb burritos every day and working out once a week, and if he wants me 15 lbs heavier (in all the wrong places) then I can stop.


    LOL I would presume that he answers, aaahhhh NO.
  • lovelyladyJ21
    lovelyladyJ21 Posts: 246 Member
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    IDK how to answer this lol! Is that sad?

    My husband gets up every morning at 5:00 and does PT every morning at 530. I have a hard time working out with him because he is in alot better shape than I am. He offers all the time but at this point in my journey I just can't do it! He's all for trying new things for dinner but he doesn't really give me any feedback. All I get when I ask if it's any good? is Yea it's fine hun, even if it's not fine.

    I don't take him with me to the grocery store anymore because he'll throw 4 things of pringles in the cart, or something else horribly fattening and unhealthy and I wont realize it until I've already got home.
    Now if he wants it he goes to the store and keeps it in his car lol.

    But I think he tries his best!!!
  • JustANumber85
    JustANumber85 Posts: 644 Member
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    My husband is 1/2 on and 1/2 off the wagon with me. He plays along but doesnt always log and doesnt seem thrilled about working out. I told him tonight " either you want it or not, but i want it"

    Im not sounding as snarky as it seems but I mean if hes not in, i cant have him hold me back. im going to do it without him. :wink:
  • jhassan1980
    jhassan1980 Posts: 28 Member
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    My BF & I started our weight loss together & are still working at it. I wouldn't have stuck with it this long if he wasn't doing this with me.
  • rachelerwin
    rachelerwin Posts: 140 Member
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    My husband is my biggest supporter! We started this lifestyle change together and he is always encouraging me.
  • Aventuria
    Aventuria Posts: 151
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    My boyfriend is my biggest supporter, too. I couldn't imagine him not being part of this trip to health!
    I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to fight two wars. :ohwell:

    But I also believe in honesty, you should sit down with her and talk to her, ask her what she's afraid of. Maybe she opens up to you. :smile:
  • Nickle526
    Nickle526 Posts: 239 Member
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    My boyfriend is such a big support. He doesn't need to lose any weight, but we eat pretty much the same things. We both naturally prefer lower carb meals, so it works out well. I just give him a bigger helping, it breaks down to about 60/40.

    He is really good about motivating me when I don't want to exercise. It is really important that I don't skip a day because I use cardio to help control my Tourette Syndrome. I made a choice when I got diagnosed to live without medication, and the Tourettes is pretty managable if I do an hour of cardio a day. If I skip 1 day, I usually end up not being able to sleep that night, and things spiral downward from there. But sometimes I feel cranky and sorry for myself and don't want to get on the damn stationary bike. My lovey will calmly talk me through it. I'm lucky to have him :)

    I think that it is important that I keep my choices mine and not expect him to alter his life. I see a lot of couples on here have difficulty when one half of the relationship changes their habits, and gets offended if the other person doesn't change with them. I KNOW my boyfriend wouldn't be as supportive if I expected him to change the way he eats, not have sweets, or pestered him to exercise.

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