Help!!

maribethflowers

Hi. I'm back on MFP to finish a journey that I started long ago.

Last year, I weighed 266lbs and was absolutely devastated by this. I decided I had to take action for my health, my career, my life and general well being. So, I decided pretty quickly that drastic action had to be taken and before I knew it I was down to 140lbs and had lost 126lbs from july 2011 - feburary 2012, but I felt miserable. My skin was awful, my body was saggy, my hair was falling out and I just felt very ill all the time. I wasn't happy with the way I looked and wanted to lose more weight, but at the time I couldn't and I felt trapped in what choices I should make. I was miserable because I had lost all that weight and still didn't look or feel good so I just thought, what is the point? Before I knew it, old habits slipped back into place and I am now back up to 190lbs and devastated again! I want to change myself, but in a healthy way. I want to lose weight... I want it to happen relatively quickly because I'm embarrassed by how I look and when people I know meet me they look at me with disappointment and shock.

I am trying to be positive, but because I have already went on this journey before, I find it boring and very tiring and everytime I slip up or have to try again it's just a reminder of how much of a let down and failure I really am.

Somebody please help me see sense and help me set realistic goals...

ironanimal

From the sounds of you need professional counselling as your self esteem issues seem to go beyond simply not looking your best.

With that said, hopefully you learned that losing that amount of weight that quickly, and probably not in the healthiest way, isn't a great solution. Chip away at it slowly and consistently while ensuring you're getting adequate nutrition and your results are much more likely to stick.

Also note you didn't really feel any better at 140 than your higher weight - the scale number doesn't mean anything unless you have a little digital scale wired up to your shoes, projecting your weight on your forehead everywhere you go. Focus on shaping your body to what you want through exercise rather than fixating an arbitrary number.

For realistic goals, aim for things like improving the amount of exercise you do, and once you're efficient at that exercise - whether it be running, lifting, swimming or whatever - set goals applicable to that; run a 12 minute mile, squat your bodyweight, complete 1000m non-stop. If you focus on things like that, the weight will come off anyway.

aehenson

It sounds like you need a nutritionist. Your skin & energy levels will improve if you lose eating healthy foods - it sounds like you were going about it by not eating? Don't give up, just find a new route. Your body needs fuel!

Samanthasaurus_

I've been there. I took drastic measures to lose weight about 4 years ago and it worked! I lost over 100 lbs!! ...The weight I lost didn't stay off though and I've been struggling ever since.

I know where you're coming from with feeling like a miserable failure. YOU'RE NOT!

Just be patient, love yourself, and focus on healthy ways to burn those necessary, but pesky calories!


Best of luck to you! This site is great for support and encouragement Feel free to add me as a friend.

Katla49

The goal here for most of us is to develop a healthier lifestyle that is sustainable. And that includes developing healthy eating patterns that we can continue forever. You'll get good support from the people here, and also good advice. It sounds as though you may need to have some emotional support in addition to weight loss support. A number of people here speak about issues with depression. They have gotten professional support and/or antidepressant support and are keeping the weight off. You might want to consider this strategy. Take is slow, get support, and know that you're worth it.

jlohcook

Start to learn to love yourself......only when you love yourself will you be able to set a goal that's sustainable. It does take a lot of courage to believe in yourself, and determination to get your health straighten out.

PatsyFitzpatrick

First off Maribeth STOP putting yourself down. There are enough people in this world who will enjoy the job of ripping you to shreds. You have to be on your side. I am so proud of your weight loss on your first time around. WOW! 100 pounds and YOU did that . Yes your body changed but now you need to work on your thoughts. Depression is a wicked illness and may be part of your WHY did this happen, WHY do I need to go through it again. But you can do it most folks can not say they have loss 20 pounds without some type of help. SO this next journey should not be about getting the weight off. You got that. You need to work on making Maribeth like who she is. If you are a Christian visit your book store and look at some of the books by Joyce Myeres. If you have no preference go buy a book say Oprah who also looses and regains and learn from her. She has spent way more money on the WHY factor than most of us will ever even earn. haha right?
Join a running club in your neighbourhood most are annually $25 to $50 and they have lots of meetups and get togethers. Or maybe a gym. For me I love outside adventures so I run. Really jog I am slow but I finish

But really Maribeth one trick I learned is affirmation cards on 3x5 with motivation and encouragement to myself. I keep them with me and read them standing in a line or waiting on one of the kids. You MUST be a good friend to yourself. If you saw someone being a BULLY to someone you love I bet you would standup and stop it. Be that girl who will standup for YOU.

God Bless you and enjoy your life. You got this.
Patsy

PunkyRachel

Toning exercises, like Zumba or maybe do some weight training, this will prevent the saggy skin you had when you got down to 140. Like ironanimal said losing it slower and focusing more on measurements than the number scale is key. Take baby steps, don't change your whole diet around over night. This would be just setting yourself up to fail. Take away the sugary beverages one week, then in a week or 2 remove the junk food, so on and so forth. If you don't already have one buy a food scale and make it your best friend. Measure out everything you make/cook yourself. Portion size is key! It took me a long time to realize simple things like a can of tuna is 2.5 serving not 1 serving or 1 chicken breast is not 1 serving, but actually 2 servings.

From a person who has suffered from very bad self esteem issues to the point I've tried to kill myself twice. You most likely have been hurt or abused (I was physically and emotional abused by parents, bullied at school, molested by my neighbor, and raped once as an adult). Please no sympathy I was just using myself as an example. You should talk to someone, a close friend, family member, a counselor, boyfriend, anyone. You could even just write/draw/paint/sing, whatever your muse is get those feelings out. I wrote poetry to get my feelings out, my now husband helped me gain my self esteem, I was at my lowest point when I met him. As for me personally I hate counselors, the 2 I seen were horrible and did nothing to help me. I've also heard great success stories from people seeking counseling as well so it's your choice.

That's all the advice I can think of to give you. Chin up girl you can do this! *hugs* :flowerforyou: