I hate my weight.

maribethflowers

Hi. I'm back on MFP to finish a journey that I started long ago.

Last year, I weighed 266lbs and was absolutely devastated by this. I decided I had to take action for my health, my career, my life and general well being. So, I decided pretty quickly that drastic action had to be taken and before I knew it I was down to 140lbs and had lost 126lbs from july 2011 - feburary 2012, but I felt miserable. My skin was awful, my body was saggy, my hair was falling out and I just felt very ill all the time. I wasn't happy with the way I looked and wanted to lose more weight, but at the time I couldn't and I felt trapped in what choices I should make. I was miserable because I had lost all that weight and still didn't look or feel good so I just thought, what is the point? Before I knew it, old habits slipped back into place and I am now back up to 190lbs and devastated again! I want to change myself, but in a healthy way. I want to lose weight... I want it to happen relatively quickly because I'm embarrassed by how I look and when people I know meet me they look at me with disappointment and shock.

I am trying to be positive, but because I have already went on this journey before, I find it boring and very tiring and everytime I slip up or have to try again it's just a reminder of how much of a let down and failure I really am.

Somebody please help me see sense and help me set realistic goals...

CindyLRP

Hi. Weight loss and self-image means different things to each of us.
#1 It doesn't matter what anybody thinks about you. Do they express disappointment or is that really your thought? You are embarrassed becuz you put the weight back on, but sweetie, other people really don't care. They judge quickly, but they don't walk in your shoes. If they have a right to say anything, where were they when you needed them? You have to let go of what you believe other people think.
#2 Be kind to yourself. It sounds like a cliche, but your body reacts to what you think and say. If you say and believe that you were saggy and baggy and looked awful, you begin to act in that manner. The mind is powerful; this is how we one day find that motivation to lose weight, too.
#3 Realize this time that it is better if the weight comes off gradually. "Quickly" is not a part of successful weight loss. You know the definition of insanity, right? Doing the same thing again and expecting different results. You weren't happy the first time you did it this way, it has to be different this time. You are young and your collagen production and hormones will help your skin, so do it while your metabolism is still effectively working
#4 Failure means you stopped trying. You are here. You are reaching out for help, so you have NOT failed! I wouldn't even want to try to remember how many times I have lost weight only to regain even more. Who did you let down? Did anyone pay you to lose weight before? No? Then you didn't let anyone down. You have built very a very strong and powerful self-image that you are trying to live up to. You are the only person beating you up! Take back your power and let's use your strength and power for really positive results!
Another thing you can use is a Hypnotherapy CD. A good one will promote everything positive and provide encouragement on a deep level that helps you feel good about yourself at every step. I hate my weight too, but hating it uses my energy to focus on it. I am now focusing on where I am going and what I want to do about it. This time (sigh...I know I have said it before, but THIS time) I am going to reach my goal and stay there. MFP offers realistic goals and support is yours for the asking...just like you did with this message!
Friend me and I will help you all I can!
Hugs, Cindy