Chronic Yo-Yo Dieters Support?!

jibbs89

Hi all. I've posted like 40 times today probably. But I joined MFP way over a year ago. I just re-started about a month ago. That alone should tell you how often I've tried to "change my life." My struggles with body image started when I was 9, the first time this boy called me a "fat *kitten*" in front of all my classmates. I wasn't fat then. I wasn't thin though either. A person never forgets that first loss of innocence. I didn't even think about my body when I was 9 until then. But from that point on my every thought, every single day is about my body. I can't even count the amount of diets I've tried and given up on. Most of the time I gave up before any serious progress could be made. But all in all, my seriously bad habit of dieting then binging incessantly has pretty much destroyed what little metabolism I had left. This spring, when I thought I was at my heaviest, I lost 20 pounds! I was happy about it. I didn't want to stop. But ya know, sometimes life gets in the way and it became impossible for me to continue the diet the way I was. Then the bad habits started back up. Then I justified it. Not only did I gain back the 20, but I gained 20 more. Clinical depression has been apart of my life since I was 14, but just a couple months ago it really made its mark on my appearance, not just my mind. I started a new medicine that absolutely did not agree with my body. I had severe adverse effects, my behavior was out of control, and within 2 weeks, I gained another whopping 20 pounds. That's SIXTY POUNDS heavier than I was in the springtime. And as the cherry on top, all my "friends" just decided one day they didn't want to be friends with me anymore. So now I am fat, I am depressed, and I am alone. This isn't normal and it's not okay.

You would think that this would motivate me to get a move-on and really get serious to change my life, but in fact, it does just the opposite. It makes me feel even worse that I allowed myself to get this way. It makes me feel hopeless. It's hard when you feel like nothing in your life is under control. It's really, really, really hard. So if anyone here has ever struggled with frequent weight gain, staying on diets, depression and body image issues, or loneliness, could you give me some advice? It's just so hard making myself go workout and restricting my food intake when I pretty much have no other outlets of comfort anymore. Food is my comfort. And when I diet, it's like I'm taking that comfort zone away...and now on top of having no support from any friends at all. Looking in the mirror is just really disheartening. I lose 15 pounds but I still look in the mirror and want to just die. And thinking about how I probably won't be at my goal weight for a YEAR (or ever, knowing my track record), I just want to give up.

Please just help me, somebody. Anybody. How do you maintain that motivation to go work hard, and be optimistic about it when those 45 minutes of hard work don't even make a dent in your fat body ?

Also I guess I should mention before anyone says this, that I have seen psychiatrists, therapists, and dietitians. All the weight loss I have accomplished has been in a healthy way. I am very overweight, so I'm not just some skinny little teenager looking for attention. This is a real problem, and I just need some help. Thank you

DeniseNichole76

Those 45 minutes can make a GREAT dent in your body fat. First, we have to change that negative voice in our head into a positive voice, trust me, I know its easier said than done. But, once you hear the negativity and try on a more positive voice you'll see that you can reach goals you've never imagined. Right now, my words will mean nothing to you, but with the help of an accountability partner, and support, you'll far surpass goals you never imagined so soon. Feel free to add me on MFP. I can definately help you out if you are serious about change. I can't tell you how many 'i cant's...." i've spoken with that have reached their goals. Im proud you are here on MFP, keeping an accurate food journal is SO important to your progress.

marie_25m

You can do it, you'll have great days and days where you will eat everything on sight...but trust me, you'll start to feel better about yourself when you start to see those pounds go...even if it takes time to lose them. Try it one more time or how may times you want to...at least you are trying to make a lifestyle change. stay positive and feel free to add me.

Smokey19

I have suffered from depression since I was a young child. I agree with everyone else that you have to face this with a positive attitude Try journaling all your feelings so you can get it out of your head and onto paper. Also, right down all your goals you hope to accomplish and post them where you can see them. You need to start loving yourself for who you are. We are what is inside and not what is on the outside. Feel free to add me.