Remembrance of being skinny and little Fat

taunto

Read this in Tina Fey's book "Boddypants" and thought it was interesting and worth sharing.

Remembrances of Being Very Very Skinny


For a brief time at the turn of the century, I was very skinny. This is what I remember about that period.

I was cold all the time.

I had a pair of size-four corduroy short shorts. That I wore. To work. In the middle of Manhattan.

I loved it when people told me I was getting too thin.

I once took a bag of sliced red peppers to the beach as a snack.

I regularly ate health food cookies so disgusting that when I enthusiastically gave one to Rachel Dratch she drew a picture of a rabbit and broke the cookie into a trail of tiny pieces coming out of the rabbit’s butt.

Men I had met before suddenly paid attention to me… and I hated them for it.

Sometimes I had to sleep with a pillow between my legs because my bony knees clanking together kept me awake.

I had a lot of time on my hands because I wasn’t constantly eating.

I ran three miles a day on a treadmill six days a week.

I felt wonderfully superior to everyone.

I didn’t have a kid yet.

We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don’t take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy.

Remembrances of Being a Little Bit Fat


For a brief time at the end of that last century I was overweight. This is what I remember about that period.

My boobs were bigger.

I once left a restaurant in the middle of dessert to get to Krispy Kreme before it closed.

Even though I only liked McDonald’s fries, I believed it was more nutritious to make a meal of it and have two cheeseburgers as well.

If I was really ambitious, I would get a Whopper Jr. at Burger King and then walk to McDonald’s to get the fries. The shake could be from anywhere.

I could not run a mile.

I wore oversize men’s overalls that I loved.

Guys who were friends with me did not want to date me… and I hated them for it.

On at least three occasions, I vomited on Christmas Eve from mixing chocolate, peel-and-eat shrimp, summer sausage, and cheese. No alcohol was involved.

As a size twelve, I took pride in the idea that I was “real woman”–sized. “Size twelve is the national average,” I would boast, “no matter what magazines try to tell you.”

Once, while ironing in my underwear, I grazed my protruding belly with the hot iron.

We should leave people alone about their weight. Being chubby for a while (provided you don’t give yourself diabetes) is a natural phase of life and nothing to be ashamed of. Like puberty or slowly turning into a Republican.

PercivalHackworth

Great reading taunto, thanks for sharing. Though I don't get the point. What is she trying to tell there ?

anemoneprose

What is she trying to tell there ?

She was overweight for a while, which is fine because it was baby pudge she 'grew out' of by way of a flirtation with an eating disorder, and the pressures of fame.

She doesn't want to be hassled about her thighs, basically.

taunto

Great reading taunto, thanks for sharing. Though I don't get the point. What is she trying to tell there ?

We should leave people alone about their weight

HealthyBodySickMind

My most profound thought while reading this was, "Huh, I've eaten peel and eat shrimp, chocolate, summer sausage and cheese *while* drinking and never puked."

But Anemoneprose and Taunto nailed it, the point is a little too thin or a little bit of extra isn't something to judge or hassle someone about.

PercivalHackworth

Oh yes thanks. That's what I though... one of our judgmental cultures by-product I guess...