Overcoming fear.

TeachTheGirl

Or phobia. I guess I'm not quite sure which I have...hear me out.

Ever since we got our first land-line phone when I was a teenager, I have had a fear of phones. I got a call from a man who was very angry, asked for me by name and then proceeded to yell at me for not coming to work. I was fourteen. I didn't have a job and I didn't know who he was and all I could hear was laughter in the background. Someone was playing a prank at my expense and it wasn't funny. I shied away from phones ever since.

I recently took a job with my trainer. I feel like I've overcome a lot of things from my past, but this recent one is a doozy. I have to call people on her mailing list and I'm feeling those familiar pangs of dread in my chest. My husband said I'm needlessly psyching myself out, but I genuinely feel sick to my stomach.

I WANT to get over it and I want to be able to do this, but I'm freezing up just thinking about it.

How do you overcome fear? Is there something in your life you just can't face? Help a girl out.

auroranflash

Sometimes you have to do things despite being afraid, and build confidence as you go. Somedays my social anxiety is through the roof and I honestly don't even want to be around anyone, much less these dumb-dumbs around the office. And somedays I don't feel it as much, I just do what I have to do. I can't just 'not' come to work, it's something I do out of necessity, and it has gotten better with time.

If it's truly a big issue for you, there's always therapy. It's not just for crazy people. You can talk out exactly why you feel the way you feel and learn different coping mechanisms.

Anyhow, best of luck.

now_or_never12

If the fear really holds you back from doing things it might be best to speak with someone about it. There are professionals that deal with phobias and help people overcome them.

Personally, I've found it helps to just do what I"m afraid of. Doing it more and more will reduce if not eliminate the fear. DOn't let some stupid person from years ago hurt you now.

Linda_Darlene

If the fear really holds you back from doing things it might be best to speak with someone about it. There are professionals that deal with phobias and help people overcome them.

Personally, I've found it helps to just do what I"m afraid of. Doing it more and more will reduce if not eliminate the fear. DOn't let some stupid person from years ago hurt you now.

Courage does not meaning being without fear. Courage is having fear and doing it anyway!

I know that sounds like a cliche. But it really is true. Nervous is okay. Even a tight chest is okay. Just don't let it stop you. You can do this!

pandorakick

I have to call people on her mailing list and I'm feeling those familiar pangs of dread in my chest. My husband said I'm needlessly psyching myself out, but I genuinely feel sick to my stomach.

I WANT to get over it and I want to be able to do this, but I'm freezing up just thinking about it.

How do you overcome fear? Is there something in your life you just can't face? Help a girl out.

When I started my work as a consultant I also had to make phone calls as a regular part of my job and found myself very reluctant to pick up the phone. What worked for me was to write down a script of what I wanted to say and what the variations in the conversation could be. This way I had something to hold onto during the call.
From there it was just doing it often and getting to feel more and more comfortable with calling people. At a certain point I didn't need my call scripts anymore. Recently I found that I was also getting comfortable improvising a call with a client, needing only a minute in preparation instead of the previous 20 (at least).

Good Luck!

Linda_Darlene

I have to call people on her mailing list and I'm feeling those familiar pangs of dread in my chest. My husband said I'm needlessly psyching myself out, but I genuinely feel sick to my stomach.

I WANT to get over it and I want to be able to do this, but I'm freezing up just thinking about it.

How do you overcome fear? Is there something in your life you just can't face? Help a girl out.

When I started my work as a consultant I also had to make phone calls as a regular part of my job and found myself very reluctant to pick up the phone. What worked for me was to write down a script of what I wanted to say and what the variations in the conversation could be. This way I had something to hold onto during the call.
From there it was just doing it often and getting to feel more and more comfortable with calling people. At a certain point I didn't need my call scripts anymore. Recently I found that I was also getting comfortable improvising a call with a client, needing only a minute in preparation instead of the previous 20 (at least).

Good Luck!

Nice! :-)

Illona88

Try exposure therapy (a type of CBT).

Start with a situation that is not too scary, for instance calling your mom.
Then build it up more and more, calling "scarier" people.
If something is causing you to have a panic attack, take a step back and practice that step over and over until you feel confident enough to try calling someone that is scarier to you.

Afterwards reflect positively, by writing down 1-3 things that went well.
This way you block out all the negative thoughts about it and you will start to feel better about calling people as well.