How can I Positively Motivate My Spouse to Workout?
Susay2942
Posts: 211 Member
This is a question I have struggled with for a while...anyone have any suggestions on how to get a man to workout?
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Replies
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Most likely he is not going to do it unless it is something he wants to do, not becasue you want him to. You can ask him to go for a walk or jog to support you or do activities together that dont seem like working out.0
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no answers but same distress! his mother made eating/weight/perfection such an issue that he's given up & nag proof, which nagproof is fine. I hate nagging. but how do I Motivate him to do it?0
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just break up now0
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Take a look at my pictures. i have only seriously been asking for 6 years even though we've been together for well over 20. He is working out now but now there's the matter of eating enough, there's always something.0
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He says he wants to but never makes the time...I think he sees it as a chore.0
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You, topless. Hold his feet while he does sit ups. Works in my house.
I'm sorry, that wasn't a serious answer at all.
But it's the damn truth. I swear it!
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Sadly, you can't. I've tried telling my own bf to do something, pleading with him to do something, asking him to join me, sharing with him what I'm doing... nothing. He dug his heels in and got bigger.
Then he had a medical test the other month, saw the results and has now decided to do something about it himself. He's lost some already - because HE wants to do it for him. Nothing we can say will make a person do anything that they don't want to do.
Edit - I love the topless idea :P0 -
Dont know! It just might work and ill try anything! Lolol0
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He has already had one stint put in his heart last year and made a few positive changes..but had another heart episode and now keeps saying he wants to loose weight, but just doesnt seem to be moving off the couch....0
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Try complimenting him? If he starts feeling better about himself he may put more effort into his appearance (and by proxy his health.)0
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You can't. Sadly.
I know this because it was my husband trying to motivate me and nothing he ever said or did made it work.
I had to come to my own realization and then working out was easy to fit into my agenda.
That said, maybe you could go on walks together?0 -
tried many times and failed he is not interested ........0
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I think this is a man thing... I really wish some men woukd chime in here...0
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Reward with sex. ha kidding heck I dunno I cant get my husband off the couch or out of the deer stand long enough to think about it. LOL He is in pretty good shape.. he is a treeman for Asplundh.0
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we take the dog's on walks..... At the same time we have our little talks so it's worth it.......0
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Reward with sex. ha kidding heck I dunno I cant get my husband off the couch or out of the deer stand long enough to think about it. LOL He is in pretty good shape.. he is a treeman for Asplundh.
Yes hold back sex until you get what you want
This is the key to a successful marriage0 -
Sadly you can't. Motivation is a fire that burns from within. You can't light it for him. The best you can hope for is to set a good example and when he sees that you are still going strong and that this new lifestyle of your is actually working, he may just come around.0
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I exercise 6 days a week, my wife does not. She says she will start soon. When she's ready to start I'm willing to help her in any way that I can. In the mean time I have no intention of trying to motivate her. I just don't see that going very well.I think this is a man thing... I really wish some men woukd chime in here...0 -
Start by asking him to go on a walk with you, any movement is better than none.
Like someone said above, walk the dog. If you don't have a dog, consider getting one.
He doesn't have to start with workouts, just include him in any physical activity you do, and make it fun and/or interesting.
Don't nag or plead or cajole, nobody likes to be nagged. He'll either do it for himself or he won't.0 -
You, topless. Hold his feet while he does sit ups. Works in my house.
I'm sorry, that wasn't a serious answer at all.
But it's the damn truth. I swear it!
Does his exercise log look like this:
Sit-Ups 1 set 1 rep
Other Cardio 40 min 252 calories burned
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I'm a Marriage Therapist and a fitness coach....there is no simple answer to your question. Others have said that you can set a good example by being active yourself and inviting him to join you and this is very true. Be creative with the activities so that it is not about "working out" but about having fun in an active way. And, at a quiet moment, invite him to talk with you about your motivations and goals and his goals and how you can support him. Remind him that you love him no matter what, but that your health and fitness is a part of living a long life together. This may be more than one conversation over time and hopefully he will accept your great ideas, just as you would accept his ideas on things. In the end, he has to find his reasons for making the change. You already have found your reasons...keep going and keep the dialogue open...0
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My husband and I both want to get healthier, though lately we seem to be taking turns being more serious about it. :P Here are some things that have personally helped me in my times of laziness (and things that I try to do for him in his down-cycles):
*doing fun active things with my spouse (walks, hikes, kayaking rentals, bike rentals, skiing)
*positive feedback from my spouse when I do something active
*seeing my spouse do active things in front of me (basically, practice what you preach :P)
*making exercise while watching TV (ie stationary bike, situps, pushups, etc) be something normal in our household
*recognizing more physical household chores/cleaning as exercise
*making it easy for exercise to fit into my schedule (for me, this means having a way to exercise at home and making sure that extra chores/making dinner/etc. won't eat up my time after work hours)
For spouses that like games and competitions, I also recommend www.fitocracy.com. You get rewarded with points for various physical activities, for which you "level up." There are also "quests" and "achievements" to try to complete. Paid account members also can compete against each other in "duels." Unlike MFP, non-cardio activities (ie weightlifting, bodyweight exercises) are also rewarded with points. I think MFP is better for weight loss since Fitocracy doesn't track nutrition at all and doesn't track weight usefully, but Fitocracy is better at inspiring physical fitness (especially strength training).0 -
Reward with sex. ha kidding heck I dunno I cant get my husband off the couch or out of the deer stand long enough to think about it. LOL He is in pretty good shape.. he is a treeman for Asplundh.
Yes hold back sex until you get what you want
This is the key to a successful marriage
Extra sex.. never withhold!! LOL0 -
I find the same issue with my better half, problem is she's unhealthy and depressed over her weight and goes to weight watchers and another self help club but doesn't want to listen to any advice I might give. Never has.0
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There is only one thing you can do that will help. PRAY that God can change his heart and make him see that fitness is an impotent issue. I'm not coming at you as a bible quoting church girl, I'm coming at you as a girl who had issues and prayed about them only to see amazing changes. It was those changes that brought me back to church and I believe 100% that if you pray about something God will do one of two things: Change the heart of the person you are praying for, or change your heart to find peace is what you are praying about. Fitness is impotent and as long as your husband is really out of shape, I'm sure God will answer your prayer. It can't hurt to try it, but you have to be patient. My life changing prayer took two years before it was answered but I've had 5 years of joy from that ONE prayer request that God gave me. Since then, I've found many of my prayers to be answered. Just this morning I was upset over something and I could not stop thinking about it (even though I new it was a stupid reason to be upset). I prayed and asked God to help me get over this feeling, and I went on with my day. About 5 minutes after I said that, I just felt peace come over me and I was happy. I ended up going out for breakfast with my husband and we had an amazing morning!! The weather predicted rain (a reason I was upset, cuz it was messing up my plans for the day) yet the sun has been shinning since I prayed that one simple prayer to God!0
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My husband doesn't like doing the same kind of workouts that I do, but he does like exercising in other ways, like hiking and fencing. My advice would be to encourage him to try some new things with you. He may not agree to everything, but he might try one or two and decide that he does enjoy them. Maybe do something in a group with some friends so that he can use "guy time" for working out once in a while. He may respond better if you don't call it "working out" or "trying to lose weight" but focus on the fun leisure aspect.0
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Make it more about distress together time. Going for a before or after dinner stroll to talk and relax together is a nice way to start. The weather around here has finally started getting nice enough to do this.0
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Just keep doing what you are doing, eventually it might influence him to do something. He's a grown man and will do what he wants to do. I wouldn't push him to do it as a couple thing, let him do this on his own, you can tell him that you are concerned about his health and just want a long happy life together, but he needs to decide to do it on his own.0
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I talk about how much more energy I have, how much farther I was able to go today...basically just focusing on the positives.0
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oral0
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