The little voices

nicki_1004

I am making an effort at losing weight and I am actually doing it. Not as fast as I would like but I'll take it. I was at 299LBS at the end of 2011 starting doing MFP from January to May. I was down to 262LBS. I maintained that through the summer then gained 10 LBS back between August to September. I am back on the ball again getting the scale moving in the right direction.

I had gone to bed this evening had a dream about when I was younger being teased for my weight. I could not go back to sleep. Since I was about 9 I have been overweight and I have been teased by family, people in school, and people I just happen to walk by. It all started with a poorly chosen nickname someone gave me. Then it became a thing where I felt like nothing I did was ever good enough. If I came home with c's why weren't they a's or b's, when I went to college I had a 3.0 GPA why wasn't it better, dropping out of college because I couldn't afford it, when I found out I was pregnant with my first son, Moving away, and many other things. It just seems like I have never been able to make anyone happy nothing I did was ever good enough. All I ever wanted was to have someone be proud of me instead I was asked why didn't I do better?

After my dream I was laying in bed thinking of all of the negative things over the years and obviously couldn't get back to sleep. I couldn't get it out of my mind. So my question is how do you work through these "little voices"? If you have lost the weight do you still have those voices?