Confession - and advice seeked.

Iloveeyore78

:flowerforyou: So in 19 months I have lost 66+ lbs and of that 31 has been in the last 145 days with MFP. I LOVE this app and the support here. Today I put on jeans that I have not worn in close to 10 years and they FIT! Huge success. Prior to trying them (as so many other pairs have gotten too big) I looked at the waist and thought "those look so tiny! I am way bigger than that." I have not worn a size 16 since before my car accident in 2003. Well they DID fit. Big milestone. I should be psyched.... but here is my confession: I still don't see ME as being that small to fit in them. I still think of myself as the biggest girl in the room. I saw them on me and was schocked.... yet I still don't "see" me that size. Odd? Bizarre? I don't know hence reaching out.

What I am seeking support on is my vision I guess. I still see so much left of me still there that I don't seem to associate how much I have lost and how far I have come. Yet the jeans fit! This is the most weight I have lost and kept off EVER and I have struggled since high school which was almost 20 years ago. So what is the disconnect?

Has anyone else faced that? Any advice? Thanks in advance and please feel free to add me for support. My food diary is also open to friends should anyone want meal or snack ideas. Thank you! :flowerforyou:

nefbaker

Congratulations! I run across that quite frequently. Just last week a friend of mine gave me some of her old jeans (she's been losing weight too). I never thought of her as 'fat' so I was sure her size 14s would not fit me. But they do....yet I can't connect what I look like now with how she looked 20 lbs ago....I see myself as way bigger now than she was then.

sandradev1

Hi there, I had a quick peek at your posts on the forum and you have been so positive about your personal achievements and also been supportive of others. Perhaps you are merely going through a 'down' phase generally at the moment, we all have them and they do pass. I also think that t's very rare we are happy with ourselves. You have done brilliantly well and should feel like a million dollars. Listen to people around you rather than your own mind in relation to how you look. I can only imagine that you get lots and lots of compliments. It is the comments and actions of other people around us that usually determine how we feel about ourselves, except for those people who are ultra confident in themselves.

Akimajuktuq

Likely my advice won't help.... But all of the body image issues went away when my focus shifted away from weight loss and onto HEALTH. I was killing myself with "food" (most kinds of which I no longer consider "food") and depriving my child of the right to have a healthy, functioning parent that would help instill in her the skills that she needs for survivial. Awfully selfish, wasn't it?

I'm still over-weight, but I am fitting into clothes that I haven't for years. That's nice. But what's nicest is feeling GREAT. Besides, I'm 40 and I have body parts that will never again defy gravity. Why waste time being miserable about silly stuff like that. I'd rather just live my life, without care or thought of the image of perfection that we are bombarded with from the start of our lives. I choose to acknowledge that, then let it go and move on.

I get that you just don't see a slim person, but perhaps if you shift your focus to your health, it might help. It certainly helped me. When I was young, I thought I was fat when I wasn't. Well, it turned out very easy to make my thoughts a reality and I regret that.

BlackKat75

Today I put on jeans that I have not worn in close to 10 years and they FIT! Huge success. Prior to trying them (as so many other pairs have gotten too big) I looked at the waist and thought "those look so tiny! I am way bigger than that." I have not worn a size 16 since before my car accident in 2003. Well they DID fit. Big milestone. I should be psyched.... but here is my confession: I still don't see ME as being that small to fit in them. I still think of myself as the biggest girl in the room. I saw them on me and was schocked.... yet I still don't "see" me that size. Odd? Bizarre? I don't know hence reaching out.

What I am seeking support on is my vision I guess. I still see so much left of me still there that I don't seem to associate how much I have lost and how far I have come. Yet the jeans fit! This is the most weight I have lost and kept off EVER and I have struggled since high school which was almost 20 years ago. So what is the disconnect?

Has anyone else faced that? Any advice? Thanks in advance and please feel free to add me for support. My food diary is also open to friends should anyone want meal or snack ideas. Thank you! :flowerforyou:

You're not alone in this at all. I'm sitting here in a pair of size 6 jeans that I last wore more than 5 years ago. I know that even two months ago I couldn't have put these jeans on, let alone zip them. I know this. However, when I look in the mirror, I feel like I look the same as I did when I started losing weight in February. There is something about our mental vision of ourselves that takes a lot longer to recognize our body changes. I know I didn't really see the weight as it was going on, and now I guess I'm not really seeing the weight as it's coming off.

Don't let yourself get discouraged and try to recognize your progress through objective milestones like wearing those pants rather than your subjective internal voice.

You're doing a great job!!!! :flowerforyou:

alihart29

You should make a VISION board. You can do them on Pinterest but I think a good ole fashioned poster board one is a better idea. Place inspiring quotes on it ... a ticker for your starting weight to your goal weight ... pictures of people who inspire you ... and you can even take pix of YOU and put your head on cutout bodies to other people to get more comfie with visualizing your goal

Iloveeyore78

Thanks everyone! It IS about my health and hopefully focusing on that will help. I am relieved to know I am not alone.

june21112

Your not alone...Its hard to see the new you. I took a picture of myself front and side view when I started this. I have not looked at them at all. At my 50lb loss mark I will take new ones to see the difference.(we all know how brutally honest pictures can be) Maybe you should do the same.

You are accomplishing so much and although your eyes may not communicate with your brain while you look in the mirror, know this....YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.

prokomds

You see the physical evidence in the fit of the clothes. I bet you can see it, too, if you compare photos of yourself. If you brain hasn't quite caught up yet... well, you were at the higher weight for years, yes? Not too surprising if your brain takes a little time to catch up with your body. You'll get there, I wouldn't worry about it

At the opposite end of the spectrum, when I was gaining weight, I didn't register it in my head at all. And then I saw some pictures... not what I thought! Generally, yeah, I think your mental image of yourself is way behind reality.

Iloveeyore78

Thanks everyone. Very good point about being over weight for years... that is a hard mental image to clear. I love the idea of pictures!!!! Thanks everyone!!!!

jfrankic

Similar situation here, so I have become obsessed with progress pictures....hence my profile pix. I still sometimes see the 233 lbs me when I Iook in the mirror, cringe when I pull on a pair of jeans because I just know they will be too small even though I just wore them last week, etc.

Take lots and lots of pictures. Get familiar with an editing program so you can do side by side comparisons. I'm finally starting to see a fit, healthy me. Also, I tend to see ME more often when I am disciplined with my workout schedule. I'm starting to lift heavy and I do so in front of a mirror at gym so I can see my strong body lifting heavy things!

Take measurements. The measuring tape doesn't lie. Write your numbers down where you won't lose them and track your progress. .5" here, 1" there, .75" another place will quickly add up. Seeing your inches lost and comparison pix will force your mind to accept and recognize your new healthier, smaller body.

And congrats!!!!

juliec33

Same here! I understand how you feel. I've been at this weight for approx 2 years now (up and down about 5 lbs) but I still see myself 80lbs heavier. When I look in the mirror I still don't see myself the way others do. I look at pics sometimes and think - is that really me? Is that really what I look like?

I remember the time I bought my first size 8 pair of jeans. I started pulling 14s, then 12s, then 10s and those were still too big. I remember looking at the 8s and thinking that there was no way I could be that size - they looked so tiny. I was amazed that they fit. I still think they look tiny everytime I do laundry - they must shrink in the dryer :-)

You have done great! Give yourself time to learn the new "you". You're doing great!!!!!

lovechicagobears

This is very common among people who've lost a lot of weight. You are not alone.

I got an awesome new pullover hoodie as a gift last week, and it was a 3X. Last year, a 4X was tight. I looked at this itty bitty (to me) hoodie with the stretchy band at the bottom and thought, "No way. I'm going to have to lose more weight."

I tried it on later that night, and it fit! When I looked in the mirror, I could see just how much weight I've lost. Wearing clothes that FIT makes a huge difference. It isn't big and comfy like my old hoodie, but it isn't too tight either. So, lesson learned - wear clothes that fit.

Like you, I sometimes second-guess clothes and other things (chairs are my big worry), and then I'm so surprised when it's just fine. I'm not used to it yet. But then there are days I can tell I've lost 45 pounds because I feel so much better, so much thinner.

Do you take pictures every time you lose 5-10 pounds? I've found it helps immensely. Sometimes, seeing how big I used to be is the only way I can really see how much smaller I am now, and it gives me another boost of motivation. Sometimes, I really can't believe I've lost 45 pounds, and it makes my head spin. The pictures and my blog keep me grounded.

Iloveeyore78

You are all the best and such amazing inspiration!!!! Thank you for being you and taking the time to help me try and see me. :flowerforyou:

Cherbear67

Congratulations... I know how you feel.. I know I have come far in my journey but I still feel fat.. I guess it's all something we need to work at.

darleyschroeder

I think it's a mind thing. I still have body issues, thinking I am larger than I am.
I used to weigh 200 and wear between a 14 and 16. I am not a size 6 in most brands. I was having a lot of body issues and feeling like a failure, but when I pulled out my old clothes and they were huge on me...it made me realize the truth. not the emotional truth, but reality. we are our worst critic.

JustAGirlyGeek

Just keep up the great work! Mind and body will come in sync!

yoovie

your brain loses weight slower than your body. You have to give it a chance to keep up. That's one of the many reasons you should lose weight slower. So it stays off and you dont make your brain stupid and you dont take wide turns around things you can clearly fit through.

Iloveeyore78

Thanks ladies. My brain will catch up at some point. My heart is in it!!!