I need some support :)

xxflorencexx

Hey people,

This is my first post ever in hereee, so hi!

Do you know that feeling when your boyfriend hugs you and says "Baby, I don't think you should eat tonight..." and repeat it at least twice a week? That is what I'm now facing almost everyday

I was once 180+ lbs, and the lightest that I have once hit was 140 lbs but now, I'm gaining it again, and is 160 lbs sighh.

I tried so many attempts for losing the weight again, but I just simply have no more motivation, perhaps I need someone to talk to and feel like being support

So, give me some love and care people? we will all achieve our goals

ndearing0501

First off, don't let your man talk to you like that. How mean is that to tell you he doesn't think you should be eating tonight?! That's probably the reason you're gaining weight. You're surrounding yourself with negative people like that! Instead maybe he should be cooking for you or helping you cook healthier dinners and supporting you, positively. Dump the negativity and start loving yourself. You will get there!

xxflorencexx

First off, don't let your man talk to you like that. How mean is that to tell you he doesn't think you should be eating tonight?! That's probably the reason you're gaining weight. You're surrounding yourself with negative people like that! Instead maybe he should be cooking for you or helping you cook healthier dinners and supporting you, positively. Dump the negativity and start loving yourself. You will get there!

Probably thats the reason Ever since he started saying that I start feeling pressured and everything
Theres once he even said that skim milk is still milk, and thats the reason that it makes people fat
Guess I need a serious talk with him : (
Thank you so much !

MumOfADuo

welcome! I have been on and off here for a few years, STILL have no idea how to use these boards...lol...once I post, I cant ever find it again...but thats beside the point:
I am 51 so i am going to be brutally brunt: DO NOT LET YOUR BOYFRIEND EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER make you feel 'less than'!!! DO NOT EVER LET HIM TALK TO YOU THAT WAY? even if he is hugging you while he is saying that, it is NOT OK!!!!! He needs to love you for who you are RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE but more importantly, YOU need to love you!!!! I speak from experience...the more he says what he is saying, the more you are going to rebel (whether you want to or not) I dont know how tall you are, but 160 is not heavy AT ALL. Talk to him if you can, tell him you love him but that he needs to stop saying what he is saying...even if he says oh, baby, I love you just the way you are....if he continues saying that he wonders if you should eat dinner you need to seriously rethink this relationship......love you enough to know you are fearfully and wonderfully made!!!!!

arlenem1974

I know how you can lose weight really quickly. LOSE THAT BOYFRIEND

kingscrown

Need a supportive guy. My DH would never tell me not to eat. That's really kind of cruel. It's because I feel comfortable around my husband just being me and in whatever shape I'm in. Take some time for you. Take care of yourself inside and out.

xxflorencexx

welcome! I have been on and off here for a few years, STILL have no idea how to use these boards...lol...once I post, I cant ever find it again...but thats beside the point:
I am 51 so i am going to be brutally brunt: DO NOT LET YOUR BOYFRIEND EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER make you feel 'less than'!!! DO NOT EVER LET HIM TALK TO YOU THAT WAY? even if he is hugging you while he is saying that, it is NOT OK!!!!! He needs to love you for who you are RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE but more importantly, YOU need to love you!!!! I speak from experience...the more he says what he is saying, the more you are going to rebel (whether you want to or not) I dont know how tall you are, but 160 is not heavy AT ALL. Talk to him if you can, tell him you love him but that he needs to stop saying what he is saying...even if he says oh, baby, I love you just the way you are....if he continues saying that he wonders if you should eat dinner you need to seriously rethink this relationship......love you enough to know you are fearfully and wonderfully made!!!!!

Haha thanks I think you can find your post by clicking your name, and view all your posts
Yea I guess he was trying hard not to say that for a few months, but afterwards when he saw me making no progress at all and he would think that Im not even trying Guess I just really need his support and show him that I'm not doing nothing...
lol and, I'm 160 cm, so I shouldn't been 160 lbs while I'm 160 cm....

Thank you so much! Hope you will achieve your goal

xxflorencexx

I know how you can lose weight really quickly. LOSE THAT BOYFRIEND

Haha probably not. Except for that little disappointing fact, he turns out to be a really caring and nice boyfriend.
Perhaps he is just getting frustrating when he sees my skinnier pictures.
But definitely will talk to him about this matter
Thank you so much

xxflorencexx

Need a supportive guy. My DH would never tell me not to eat. That's really kind of cruel. It's because I feel comfortable around my husband just being me and in whatever shape I'm in. Take some time for you. Take care of yourself inside and out.

True, I guess I just really need to talk to him
If he really doesn't understand, then I really can do nothing but let go....?

Elzecat

welcome! I have been on and off here for a few years, STILL have no idea how to use these boards...lol...once I post, I cant ever find it again...but thats beside the point:
I am 51 so i am going to be brutally brunt: DO NOT LET YOUR BOYFRIEND EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER make you feel 'less than'!!! DO NOT EVER LET HIM TALK TO YOU THAT WAY? even if he is hugging you while he is saying that, it is NOT OK!!!!! He needs to love you for who you are RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE but more importantly, YOU need to love you!!!! I speak from experience...the more he says what he is saying, the more you are going to rebel (whether you want to or not) I dont know how tall you are, but 160 is not heavy AT ALL. Talk to him if you can, tell him you love him but that he needs to stop saying what he is saying...even if he says oh, baby, I love you just the way you are....if he continues saying that he wonders if you should eat dinner you need to seriously rethink this relationship......love you enough to know you are fearfully and wonderfully made!!!!!

THIS (and yes, I know I wrote in all caps, for emphasis!)!!!!

laserturkey

His behavior is definitely unacceptable. Make it clear to him that you don't like it and won't tolerate that, and then if he persists in saying things like that, you will know he needs to be kicked to the curb. In a healthy relationship, if your partner knows something bothers you they will do everything they can to avoid hurting your feelings again. You deserve someone who will treat you with respect.

autumnwater

Awwww I'm really sorry to hear that your boyfriend is saying things to you like that.
Despite whatever he says, if the desire to lose weight comes from deep inside and not just from the pressure he gives you, I believe you are definitely capable of being where you want to be.

You are right though. Weight loss can be really, really hard. I'm not going to lie: ever since I tried to diet, I've been purposefully walking around the office looking for food. It doesn't help that my company happens to order a lot of it. Oh my goodness...I have banned myself from going into the kitchen because we ALWAYS have leftovers. But today I cracked. I went in, grabbed a croissant, another chocolate croissant, and two more pastries for my lunch box tomorrow. o.O

Later in the day, I grabbed a fortune cookie, but before I could open it, I made myself throw it in the trash. x.x

Having this site and community reminds me of my goals, and inspires me that I can be better. That I can do what many others have done and get my diet under control. That I can be who I want to be.

I hope that it helps to know that there are folks like me who believe in you and want to support you.

Smallz13

First off, don't let your man talk to you like that. How mean is that to tell you he doesn't think you should be eating tonight?! That's probably the reason you're gaining weight. You're surrounding yourself with negative people like that! Instead maybe he should be cooking for you or helping you cook healthier dinners and supporting you, positively. Dump the negativity and start loving yourself. You will get there!

I agree!! We'll be here to support you hun!! the stress is definitely not helping, the more you stress the more your body tends to gain weight.

beekuzz

I'm here to offer support if you need it. Having decided to get my life and body in order, I had to have my ex-hus leave for good. There are things you can do together as a couple and some things you have to do alone. Those lucky ones out there have partners that will get healthy with them and be the best support system ever. Unfortunately, I was not that lucky.

When we met, I was 25 and 120-125lbs. When we parted permenantly, I was 49 and 243.8 lbs. After hearing statements like: "I'm not going to eat that crap!" "You know you're not going to follow through!" When I wanted to go for walks: "Why would I do that? I can eat anything and not gain and I'm too skinny already." When I started using my stationery bike again: "So, this is your one day of the year you're going to use it?" "You know you won't use it again."

A positive, supportive partner, I did not have. He was destructive. But, I survived and today I am still 49 and 195 lbs and on my way to MY NEW LIFE. You can do any program with or without another person, but it depends on how much power you give that person over your feelings and actions. I know that there are plenty of stories just like mine, but you've got to decide for yourself what you want and who, if anyone, you can do it with.

Hugs :flowerforyou:

kimosabe1

don't ever think about ringing your finger girl!! I was once young, dumb and sooooooo Nieve but am no longer and that dude needs to hit the bricks! I'm sorry and hope u don't delete me now.......

lina011

i agree, i gained 20 kilo and my boyfriend never said anything like that to me. get him gone

anifani4

Definitely need to speak up for yourself. Tell your guy how you feel when he makes a comment like that. Maybe point out that it is as unhealthy to "not eat" as it is to eat too much. Set yourself some short term, easy to achieve goals, and share them with him. Ask for his support. Be specific. It's actually ok to say, "This is what I need to hear right now (or today, or whenever)" Then tell him exactly what to say. I know it sounds corny but it actually works. Come to the message boards every day and read a few threads. It is amazing how much that simple step can help keep motivation up.

xxflorencexx

Thank you guys for all your support
Forgive me for not replying everyone of you but doing this massive long reply xD

I don't think I will break up with my boyfriend right now, cuz afterall he started liking me since i was 180+ lbs.
I think the part that disappoint him most is where I lost till 140 lbs, but gained it back because of the previous bad break-up.
He thinks that it is all my ex's fault that got me into this. Whenever I'm not losing it, he would think that I'm just thinking about my ex..
Guess this is some insecure stuffs with guys?

I had a long and serious talk with him last night, and he kinda understands where my pressure comes from.
Since he is also starting to gain a belly (harharhar), we decided to lose the weight together
I will start restricting him from pizza/spaghetti (his favourite), and he will remind me from not drinking more milk than I should consume We will both run during weekends

Unfortunately he is not joining this space, cuz he wants to study instead of suddenly surfing on FB
Anyways, many thanks to all your help I hope this time it will all work out
Thanks people! And good luck in achieving your dreams!