100 lbs, what the...?

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It happened. I got on the scale this morning, and according to the BMI charts, I am "officially" 100 lbs overweight. Now, I don't buy into the whole BMI thing, 100%. I've always been the tall athletic girl and at my fittest, with 14% body fat, I still weighed 165 lbs. While, some days, being tall and able to carry some extra weight was a blessing in disguise, it's gotten out of control.

20 lbs didn't show much...neither did 30. 50 lbs heavier, hey, look, my *kitten* is getting wider. 60 lbs, I feel like crap. 80, my knees are starting to hurt and my feet are swelling.

100 f**king pounds later...my self esteem is shot. I have entered into a period of self-loathing the previously confident me has never experienced before, I'm depressed, my sex life is in the toilet because if I don't like myself, I can't fathom how anyone else could, and I'm sick and tired of feeling like this.

I've pretended to diet probably every other week for the last two years. It lasts for a couple of days, then I blow it and throw in the towel. I figure I'll start again next week, and then eat all of the things I want to, to try and sneak it in before I can't eat it again next week. I drink more than I should and my habits are well past self destructive. And now, I teeter on the brink of turning 40.

Unfortunately, I have moved away from the majority of my friends and family and therefore have little in the way of an understanding support network. So, here I am. I'm hoping to find a few like-minded folk to help hold me accountable, lift me up when I need it most and walk with me through this god-awful place I've gotten myself lost in.
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Replies

  • bpotts44
    bpotts44 Posts: 1,066 Member
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    Don't beat yourself up. Just go to work. Add me if you like. Good luck.
  • Megzfitlog
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    Add me if you'd like. I definitely know where you're coming from. This place is great though.
  • vcferlita1
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    BMI is very inaccurate, so don't beat yourself up. Feel free to add me too if you like.
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,926 Member
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    Welcome. I'm a fellow tall women myself and I lived with the "I'm tall, I can keep gaining and no one will know". Until that day when I was approaching a size I had never been and a number on the scale that I realized wasn't good. At that point, I sat down and though of 3 things I could "fix"...reduce soda, when eating out substitute fries for something healthier, and reduce portion sizes. I told myself that if this even helped me get 10 pounds off I was better (but still in the overweight category). In about 4 months I was down 10 pounds, felt better but realized it wasn't enough. Made more changes, mostly diet, and in 4 more months I was down 10 more pounds. I felt on top of the world. I was in my "usual prime" size and happier than a clam. Then I let everything go and in 4 more months I was back up 10 pounds. January 1st of 2012 I made the decision that I was worth it and I was going to make a TOTAL change.

    By June I was 150. I don't remember being 150 in my adult life. But I realized that wasn't good enough. I needed to lift weights and feel good naked. So, I kept eating at a deficient and worked out more - by July I was fit and happy at 143 (Size 4 jeans, SIZE 4...still can't believe it!). I've come back up to 149 now and need to make a few more changes, but I realized that even the smallest change can produce incredible results. I've made a commitment to myself to NEVER let myself get above 160 ever again. Right now and for the next 5 years I'd like to keep under 150, but I know everyone makes mistakes and conditions change...

    I'm not saying the journey is easy, you are going to fail, you are going to give in on temptations, you will skip workouts, but you'll get to your goal and everyone on your friends list will be cheering you on! Good Luck!
  • lorcart
    lorcart Posts: 406 Member
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    You have to start somewhere. Start now and don't look back! You've beat yourself up, you've felt bad, now it's time to take control!! Sad time OVER! Start kickin' butt and takin' names!
  • josiea98
    josiea98 Posts: 15 Member
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    I'm with Megzfitlog... This place is wonderful for getting you psyched! I was down in the toilet, too, but after baby steps and one calorie at a time, I have managed to get myself into a place where I am stoked. I've made some really good 'pals' here and even joining into a 8-week challenge with a bunch of GREAT people! Come on! Put on a smile, look to the future and don't look back. If you continue to beat on yourself, you'll only sink down farther. :explode: Not good! No need to do that! Friend me if you want some help! Come on! Smile!

    :flowerforyou:

    Josie
  • Iloveeyore78
    Iloveeyore78 Posts: 75 Member
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    You can do this!!! First: you acknowledge your current health status. Second: you desire change. Third: you came here which is the BEST support ever for weight loss. Please feel free to add me. I am currently down 66+ lbs with NO GYM and just diet changes. I also tape and measure and am down dozens of inches total as, like you, the scale number is not an accurate guide of my build. Good luck and add me on! :)
  • marycmeadows
    marycmeadows Posts: 1,691 Member
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    the bmi charts are crap IMO. Body builders are 'obese'..... stick with it. I was like you at one point..... and almost two years later, I've lost 116.4lbs and still going strong. I was never athletic, never exercised, and I'm getting ready to run my second half marathon (did my first on 11/10/12!) :)

    feel free to add me for support
  • ruthechesney
    ruthechesney Posts: 34 Member
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    Please feel free to add me as well...I am a "tall girl" too...I'll cheer you along:) One day, one bite, one move at a time:)
  • Keiras_Mom
    Keiras_Mom Posts: 844 Member
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    My 39th birthday really hit me hard--not the age, but the fact that I didn't want to still be fat on my 40th birthday. It can be a great motivator. I'm also tall (5'9") and used all the excuses we allow ourselves. I'm now 40, and within one pound of no longer being overweight! You can do this!
  • andreagreen1974
    andreagreen1974 Posts: 64 Member
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    I hear you. I realized I was 150 pounds overweight last christmas at a family wedding, and I said, that's enough. Since then I've lost 93 pounds. It can be done. You just have to make one good choice at a time, set small goals for yourself, and research the right food to eat. If you want to add me, then feel free!
  • ballroomsweetie
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    I'm in same place, but ten years older...so if that gives you any comfort. I'm also planning a 30 day "boot camp" type '"fat farm", cause this has to stop and I need help. I'm very excited to go...and am working on six pounds off right now. Not having any distractions might be good...use this time for yourself. Before you know it you'll be settled into your new local with new friends.
  • mell6355
    mell6355 Posts: 171 Member
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    I am over the 2 month hump, lost 28 pounds and have 30 something or more to go. I am 5'11" and also fell into the I am tall enough to carry the weight mentality. This year has been my eye opener and next year will bring a whole new world! Can't wait to do healthy things and enjoy them! Feel free to add me to your support team!
  • afatwomanonamission
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    I totally understand where you're coming from; one day I was 220 pounds (which was not great, but on my frame somehow didn't look awful) and then suddenly I just packed on more and more weight until I was nearly 300 pounds - it was a terrifying realization that really changed my perception of myself. If you want support, I'm totally here for you - I'm new to the game and just starting out myself (only started my 'lifestyle change' on October 9th) but I do understand. Best wishes!
  • dorothytd
    dorothytd Posts: 1,138 Member
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    I have family and friends around, but no one supports a healthy life like my MFP friends. You're in the right place and can get lots of support here. Try to get out of that 100 mindset and set some small goals. Looking at it all at once will make it seem insurmountable. It isn't! You can do it.
  • LeslieC1970
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    Feel free to add me. My experience has not been that different from you.
  • sunshinesquared
    sunshinesquared Posts: 2,733 Member
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    Start here...start now, one step at a time! We're all here for the same reason, whether it be 10 lbs. or 100 lbs. Add me if you'd like, i'm here every day and my diary is open.
  • msshiraz
    msshiraz Posts: 327 Member
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    you and I are very similar in our body types!! My weight at 165 is as low as I can go with my frame. And I gained the same way- slowly, hidden a lot with my height. But I was lying to myself. Now that you have that rant outta the way- welcome to MFP!

    I'll send you a friend request- weight loss is a journey, not a race! :)
  • skippydotdog
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    Wow--you are me. Good luck with this, I've only been with it a short time, but I'm loving it. I'm still working on sticking to it--but I am working at it. Open it every day, and keep track--it keeps us honest. Best of luck to you!
  • Niki_Fawn
    Niki_Fawn Posts: 14 Member
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    My BMI is inaccurate, I don't let it get me down. I have wide hips, Naturally I am going to weigh more due to my body type.

    Lets get moving together! Add me if you like. I could defenitely use some support.