Guys, it is never okay to...

2

Replies

  • Mads1997
    Mads1997 Posts: 1,494 Member
    Your boyfriend is a D*ckhead
  • xSakura
    xSakura Posts: 288 Member
    I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

    I think what you mean is build.. Fat isn't genetic, nor is it a body type. It's influenced by what you eat and/or medical conditions.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

    I think what you mean is build.. Fat isn't genetic, nor is it a body type. It's influenced by what you eat and/or medical conditions.

    We covered this. I meant a type of body. As in, bodies come in a variety of shapes and sizes, fat being one of them.
  • unsuspectingfish
    unsuspectingfish Posts: 1,176 Member
    I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

    I think what you mean is build.. Fat isn't genetic, nor is it a body type. It's influenced by what you eat and/or medical conditions.

    Fat is as genetic as tall.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

    I think what you mean is build.. Fat isn't genetic, nor is it a body type. It's influenced by what you eat and/or medical conditions.

    Fat is as genetic as tall.

    no. being "fat" is not genetic. It is over eating.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

    I think what you mean is build.. Fat isn't genetic, nor is it a body type. It's influenced by what you eat and/or medical conditions.

    Fat is as genetic as tall.

    Yes, eating twinkies all day and sitting on the couch all day is genetic.

    And fun.

    I miss twinkies :(
  • unsuspectingfish
    unsuspectingfish Posts: 1,176 Member
    I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

    I think what you mean is build.. Fat isn't genetic, nor is it a body type. It's influenced by what you eat and/or medical conditions.

    Fat is as genetic as tall.

    no. being "fat" is not genetic. It is over eating.

    Science disagrees with you.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

    I think what you mean is build.. Fat isn't genetic, nor is it a body type. It's influenced by what you eat and/or medical conditions.

    Fat is as genetic as tall.

    no. being "fat" is not genetic. It is over eating.

    Science disagrees with you.

    they walk among us.

    more so this morning than usual it appears.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

    I think what you mean is build.. Fat isn't genetic, nor is it a body type. It's influenced by what you eat and/or medical conditions.

    Fat is as genetic as tall.

    Yes, eating twinkies all day and sitting on the couch all day is genetic.

    And fun.

    I miss twinkies :(

    I magically became fat without eating twinkies. I never liked twinkies.
  • penith113
    penith113 Posts: 113 Member
    My fiance had a rating scale of body sizes on women.
    1) anorexic
    2) athletic
    3) average
    4) cuvy/has meat on her (2 and 4 are his preference. I happen to be the 4)
    5) dude.. girl, you got FAT (not in those terms, but that's what a girl will hear)

    I, like an idiot, told him to be honest about the day I started getting too big (nearing 5). Being in a REALLLLYYY ****ing depressed mood for about a week, I looked at him and said, "I'm a 5 aren't i?"
    His response came slowly and I knew it was going to be bad.. He had that look of "Don't make me say it." Well.. he said it... "I'm sorry babe, but you are getting there."

    I sobbed for 2 hours, ignoring him completely, or as much as I can, even though he was near/in tears for making me feel so bad. I had never felt so ashamed and hurt and all around ****ty EVER. Really sucks when the person you love pretty much is overly honest....

    I believe you already knew the answer before you asked the question. It was just hearing it out loud that made you believe it and that hurt your feelings. Honestly, what could he have said, THAT WAS HONEST, to avoid hurting your feelings. It looks like you are trying to lose 90 pounds. If that is correct than you were significantly over weight. I am not saying that he or any of these men couldn't find a kinder way to say it, but if you ask someone if you look attractive, healthy, skinny....whatever the question is and they answer you honestly and not in a mean way, how can you be angry with them. Please don't mistake what I mean here, i am not trying to stick up for anyone who is mean or teases. I am a very honest person and I value someone's opinion who will tell me the truth in matter how bad it is so much more than someone who just says what they think I want to hear.
  • unsuspectingfish
    unsuspectingfish Posts: 1,176 Member
    I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

    I think what you mean is build.. Fat isn't genetic, nor is it a body type. It's influenced by what you eat and/or medical conditions.

    Fat is as genetic as tall.

    no. being "fat" is not genetic. It is over eating.

    Science disagrees with you.

    they walk among us.

    more so this morning than usual it appears.

    What, people who actually bother to do their research?
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    My dh is completely sizeist. One time, when I was a little chubby for me (still a normal BMI, to give a little context) he told me I was fat and grabbed handfuls of me until I was in floods of tears. So I lost weight to make him like me. Then when he was horrid to me, I gained it back again.

    This time I skim read Fat is a Feminist Issue before starting and changed my mindset just enough that I was really doing it for me, not him. I am hard to bully about anything other than weight: if my dh calls me stupid I say I know I'm not. Fat, however, is different for me. I don't have the same confidence there.

    Recently he hasn't called me fat or stupid. He's really not that bad at all, normally.
  • GinaMauricio17
    GinaMauricio17 Posts: 69 Member
    i thought it was a predisposition from genes. of course theres a billion other things that goes into being gaining a lot of weight. but it plays a part
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,145 Member
    Guys, it is never okay to joke about your girlfriend's weight or body! I don't care if she is 200 lbs or 100 lbs! Just don't do it.

    It is not funny to call a fat girl fat, and it is equally NOT FUNNY to call a skinny girl fat! My boyfriend thinks it is hilarious to tease me for being fat (because I am not), and I have to keep telling him he can't joke with me like that because it totally messes with my head! Not funny! Not funny! Not funny! Even the most confident woman is not THAT confident.

    Rant complete.

    3 suggestions:

    1. Slap him in the face every time he calls you fat.

    2. Talk to him about how his name-calling isn't funny or motivating and it pisses you off.

    3. Find out what he's insecure about and take digs at it.
  • FTClown
    FTClown Posts: 181
    To those discussing if Fat is genetic or not please read
    http://news.discovery.com/human/exercise-overpowers-influence-of-fat-genes-121811.html
    And please read it completely, specially the part where it says the "fat gene" is a gene where it is MORE LIKELY for someone with a overweight family to be overweight by their 20s, but this is not 100% garanteed, as in, we still have the choice to get off the couch and work our guts off, in other words, Fat is not actually genetic, so those who are saying "science will disagree with you" needs to look into science.

    Sorry I am not in a good mood today and saw that science comment as a bully, so I am pointing you out.

    Also about the REAL topic here, about not calling a girl fat.
    I agree, teasing is horrible when it comes to weight, and women do not be sexist, a guy with a weight problem deals with the same stuff as you do, society just forces us to be less sensitive about those subjects (I express myself freely if I get made fun of to much). BUT, every once in a while, specially with the RIGHT significant other, it should be ok to JOKE (not tease) about anything and everything (except the death of love ones), this allows a lighthearted feeling over it all.
    Never tease or joke about weight when it is obvious a sensitive time (lady troubles or not, sensitive moments come at all times to all genders)
    Never tease or joke about weight when a work is about to be had, or just happened, never make fun as a casual thing like "hey fatty, what we doing today?", and a few more that most of you can figure out.

    But let us say one (male or female, no difference) JUST FINISHED COMPLAINING ABOUT the weight issue, then they go to McDonalds and want to order like, well it is McDonalds order anything at all, and then they slip and fall, or they could not squeeze between chairs or something like that, with all those situations involved how do you not say something like "Haa Haa (like from simpsons), that is what you get." or something like that.

    Just saying at times, specially if both are into the mentality of joking about it, have a good laugh at the fat, that way the topic is not just to serious and depressing.

    But if you have told your man not to joke about it and he keeps doing it, then leave him, plain and simple.
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
    Dear lord the bad relationships and relationship advice around here.

    Your partner repeatedly pointing out he thinks your fat is unacceptable or teasing about a nonexistent problem of being fat is disqualifying himself as partner and does not deserve your loyalty or efforts.

    Don't ask a question if you know you won't like the answer.

    Finding their weak place and exploiting it as get back won't improve a relationship. If you're resorting to that you should just leave. There's at least some honor in that.
  • FTClown
    FTClown Posts: 181
    Dear lord the bad relationships and relationship advice around here.

    Your partner repeatedly pointing out he thinks your fat is unacceptable or teasing about a nonexistent problem of being fat is disqualifying himself as partner and does not deserve your loyalty or efforts.

    Don't ask a question if you know you won't like the answer.

    Finding their weak place and exploiting it as get back won't improve a relationship. If you're resorting to that you should just leave. There's at least some honor in that.

    Best answer here
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
    Should add that in order to make yourself the least crazy maybe arrange your goals so they please you and aren't dependent upon the fickle preferences of someone else.
  • ubermensch13
    ubermensch13 Posts: 824 Member
    My fiance had a rating scale of body sizes on women.
    1) anorexic
    2) athletic
    3) average
    4) cuvy/has meat on her (2 and 4 are his preference. I happen to be the 4)
    5) dude.. girl, you got FAT (not in those terms, but that's what a girl will hear)

    I, like an idiot, told him to be honest about the day I started getting too big (nearing 5). Being in a REALLLLYYY ****ing depressed mood for about a week, I looked at him and said, "I'm a 5 aren't i?"
    His response came slowly and I knew it was going to be bad.. He had that look of "Don't make me say it." Well.. he said it... "I'm sorry babe, but you are getting there."

    I sobbed for 2 hours, ignoring him completely, or as much as I can, even though he was near/in tears for making me feel so bad. I had never felt so ashamed and hurt and all around ****ty EVER. Really sucks when the person you love pretty much is overly honest....

    That is the douchiest thing I've ever heard.

    My husband has NEVER said anything about my weight fluctuations. He thinks I'm beautiful no matter what size. Likewise...I always find him attractive. :D

    People are so superficial.

    Wait....she asked the question...she asked him to be honest.....where should the blame lie? Don't ask a question if you don't want the answer. You can love someone unconditionally but think they are getting out of shape.....
  • wibutterflymagic
    wibutterflymagic Posts: 788 Member
    First off, a relationship should be based on peoples compatibility, ideals and life goals not what you look like. Yes, of course we are all attracted to different sizes of people but if a relationship is only based on the physical look of a person then it is not healthy and will not work. We all change over time and if a relationship has not progressed past the physical into true love for the inner being then there is a problem.

    If you are in a relationship where the only thing that is important to your significant other is how you look and not how you think and act.......get out.

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