Has it gone away?

RedHeadDevotchka
RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
in Motivation and Support
The insecurity over feeling fat and unattractive for you? I just ask bc as much progress I make, I still feel fat and gross some of the time. I am not at my goal yet, but what about you? Have you reached your goal and now float around on a cloud of confidence or is it a 'fake it til you make it kind of deal' ? Just curious
«1

Replies

  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
    The subconscious is a mighty foe.

    90% of any challenge in life is how perceive our self being, whether that is in looks, value, confidence...some or all. This when we must remove ourself bias on how we perceive life, taking a step back to evaluate the positives, tossing aside the negatives. Once we see what we have accomplished, we can reset our perceptions and bias on the awesome that is.

    Awareness....it is a mighty tool. Use it wrecklessly. It will open your eyes upon not only what you see in yourself, but change how you perceive life.
  • lachesissss
    lachesissss Posts: 1,298 Member
    No. I'm fact it's magnified my insecurities in a seriously sad and frightening way. I feel like I'm half in and half out. When I was bigger, I knew I wasn't attractive and I could live with that. Now, I think that I'm not good enough despite having made changes anyway. It's like the world's biggest mindfvck sometimes. I hate it.
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    There are days I feel sexy, and days I feel like a fat cow.
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
    It takes longer to change a mind than a body
  • tageekly
    tageekly Posts: 3,755 Member
    Nope. I actually feel worse some days now.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I'm still struggling with that too. But I still have 50 lbs to lose.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
    my brain is not nice to me a lot of the time.
  • lovechicagobears
    lovechicagobears Posts: 289 Member
    It kind of depends on the situation. When I was packing for a business trip last night, I realized my dress pants were WAY too big, so I pulled out the dress pants I haven't worn in a long time. They finally fit again. So I was pretty dancy-happy about that.

    But then I do something like put on a bathing suit to use the pool in the hotel, and I'm like, "EEEEEEEKKKKKKK WTF?!?" and end up spending the night hiding in my room.

    By the time I convinced myself I was being stupid and I looked so much better than I did the last time I came here for business, it was too late to use the pool :-P

    Anyway, it's 50/50. I'm still too fat to do a lot of things, and I don't feel sexy, but I DO feel better about myself because I'm proud of what I've accomplished and I'm starting to like the way I look in clothes. So, I'd say I'm about 22% of the way there, which matches up with my weight loss progress. ;) I'm sure I'll hit 50% at 50% and so on.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    I'm still struggling with that too. But I still have 50 lbs to lose.

    Me too
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    I guess I'm glad you all feel this way bc I feel more normal now haha. I hate that!we need to be happy and proud of ourselves!
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    Nope. I actually feel worse some days now.

    ^ This. :grumble:
  • n0ob
    n0ob Posts: 2,390 Member
    I just get more vain and obsessed with every pound of fat I lose. I look good now, but its not good enough anymore...

    I just thank GAWD that I started this year having enough muscle mass to look good. Building muscle sucks, HARD.

    At least all I have left is some fat loss.

    I'm sure once I meet the lowest body fat I'm willing to hit that I'll just decide I need to be bigger.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    My problem has always been that in my head I'm in so much better shape than I actually am. I'm finally getting some sort of hope that my body will be in line with what my mind says.

    Funny thing is...I've always been fat.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    I just get more vain and obsessed with every pound of fat I lose. I look good now, but its not good enough anymore...

    I just thank GAWD that I started this year having enough muscle mass to look good. Building muscle sucks, HARD.

    At least all I have left is some fat loss.

    I'm sure once I meet the lowest body fat I'm willing to hit that I'll just decide I need to be bigger.

    Okay, yeah... it's more like this! :laugh:

    I think once we've worked so hard to improve we expect to feel like we've "finished" somehow. That's why it can become an obsession. Just like plastic surgery... only we're working our buns off for it instead of paying $$. We all have to learn body acceptance if we don't want to become so wrapped up in our own vanity that it overtakes our entire lives.
  • Michellerawrrr
    Michellerawrrr Posts: 310 Member
    Weight loss is a total mind *kitten* IMO. I am almost at goal and I thought those days would be far behind me by now. Sadly, not so much. I don't have nearly as many "off days" and it's slowly getting better. My overall confidence is much better the stronger I become ~ hurray for lifting!
  • sborchardt35
    sborchardt35 Posts: 7
    Realized that I always feel fat no matter what the scale says. I am 5'8" and was 133 at my wedding, but I found about 10 things that needed to be better. Five years later, I'm 167, same thoughts with every pound I lose. I believe, in my head, I will always have big thighs and a flabby stomach. Right now, I try to eat better, reduce, and work out to feel strong, not skinny. For me, strong is attainable even if the idea of skinny never will be in my mind.
  • tonightokayalright
    tonightokayalright Posts: 289 Member
    No. In fact, it's gotten worse.
  • timmymon
    timmymon Posts: 304 Member
    I think the body changes much faster than the brain does. I still think about this kind of stuff on a daily basis and I have to actively tell my self I am full of **** or else it bothers me. I think it just takes time :smile:

    Whenever I look in the mirror my "fat" brain constantly wants to pick out some flaw or imperfection and that is just the wrong way about it. I try and train myself by noticing things I like or things that have greatly improved and let the "fat" brains opinions roll off my shoulder
  • cdpark617
    cdpark617 Posts: 316 Member
    Yes, but I have always been confident in everything other than my body. I have always thought that one area is my weakness. So far I have lost 56 pounds going from a men's size 42 down to a 32 or 34, depending on the fit. My face has gotten much thinner and I feel all around more healthy.

    I would say my bad body image has gone away. Now I need to keep it away!
  • EmGetsFit
    EmGetsFit Posts: 151 Member
    Occasionally I feel HAWT, like when I have a little NSV e.g. slimmer waist or a dress looks good. But I still have a lot of "yuck" days. I think maybe those will eventually decrease, hopefully with an increase in "hawt" days. But it's still hard to change the mindset after ages of being unhappy with my appearance.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    I think the body changes much faster than the brain does. I still think about this kind of stuff on a daily basis and I have to actively tell my self I am full of **** or else it bothers me. I think it just takes time :smile:

    Whenever I look in the mirror my "fat" brain constantly wants to pick out some flaw or imperfection and that is just the wrong way about it. I try and train myself by noticing things I like or things that have greatly improved and let the "fat" brains opinions roll off my shoulder

    Um, I'm usually not this bold (and I'm totally NOT a cougar), but your "fat brain" is an @sshat. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with those pics of you... Seriously. Nothing.
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    I think the body changes much faster than the brain does. I still think about this kind of stuff on a daily basis and I have to actively tell my self I am full of **** or else it bothers me. I think it just takes time :smile:

    Whenever I look in the mirror my "fat" brain constantly wants to pick out some flaw or imperfection and that is just the wrong way about it. I try and train myself by noticing things I like or things that have greatly improved and let the "fat" brains opinions roll off my shoulder

    Um, I'm usually not this bold (and I'm totally NOT a cougar), but your "fat brain" is an @sshat. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with those pics of you... Seriously. Nothing.

    Glad someone said it! Agree.
  • timmymon
    timmymon Posts: 304 Member
    I think what I was trying to say is it really doesn't matter what you look like. My body has changed so drastically in such a short period of time that my brain is still kind of confused. Especially in like social settings I still feel like the "fat guy" sometimes. My brain spent about 80 percent of my life governing a body that was obese so now that I have changed it sometimes feels like there is a miscommunication with what I and others see and what the brain thinks. If that makes any sense? I know it sounds weird but I am trying to explain how it feels. I can understand where the OP is coming from thats all.
  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
    Yep, because no matter how much by body changes my face is still the same!
  • timmymon
    timmymon Posts: 304 Member
    I think that everybody assumes that once you hit your goal weight all of your confidence issues magically disappear. Human beings are self reflective creatures and will ALWAYS have insecurities of some sort, that is just how we are built. Being at your goal weight doesn't mean you won't worry or be insecure sometimes, it's normal :smile:
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    I think the body changes much faster than the brain does. I still think about this kind of stuff on a daily basis and I have to actively tell my self I am full of **** or else it bothers me. I think it just takes time :smile:

    Whenever I look in the mirror my "fat" brain constantly wants to pick out some flaw or imperfection and that is just the wrong way about it. I try and train myself by noticing things I like or things that have greatly improved and let the "fat" brains opinions roll off my shoulder

    Um, I'm usually not this bold (and I'm totally NOT a cougar), but your "fat brain" is an @sshat. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with those pics of you... Seriously. Nothing.

    I'm with this lady! You are looking good!
  • lovechicagobears
    lovechicagobears Posts: 289 Member
    I think that everybody assumes that once you hit your goal weight all of your confidence issues magically disappear. Human beings are self reflective creatures and will ALWAYS have insecurities of some sort, that is just how we are built. Being at your goal weight doesn't mean you won't worry or be insecure sometimes, it's normal :smile:
    This is an excellent point. I have friends who have never been heavy, but they have other insecurities. Being fit isn't a magic bean to Happy Land. I don't mean that to be depressing; it's just the reality of it.
  • heatherloveslifting
    heatherloveslifting Posts: 1,428 Member
    I think what I was trying to say is it really doesn't matter what you look like. My body has changed so drastically in such a short period of time that my brain is still kind of confused. Especially in like social settings I still feel like the "fat guy" sometimes. My brain spent about 80 percent of my life governing a body that was obese so now that I have changed it sometimes feels like there is a miscommunication with what I and others see and what the brain thinks. If that makes any sense? I know it sounds weird but I am trying to explain how it feels. I can understand where the OP is coming from thats all.

    Yeah, it does make sense. If look at photos, or even my live self on video, I think...I don't really look like that.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    Insecurity is a war of the mind and not of the body. That is something you have to work through mentally rather than physically. Physical change can help by changing the reality of the matter but you honestly have to look in the mirror and focus on what is present before you rather than in the rearview seeing what once was. Best wishes on conquering this foe.
  • soniabogonia
    soniabogonia Posts: 778 Member
    I suffer from over confidence. I think I look great everyday, but my BMI is in the obese range.

Categories