Support?

I've been on MFP for several months now. I've frequented the message boards, but rarely reply. I've joined groups. I've added friends.
I'm not married, not close to my family, don't have many close friends nearby and those that do live close by are busy with their own lives and don't share my struggle. I had a boyfriend, but he broke up with me. I've had friends that also wanted to lose weight but they lose their motivation quickly and make excuses and fall off and I end up just doing it on my own with no support and eventually I fall off to.
The groups I've joined on MFP seem pretty inactive. The friends I've added seems like really the most interaction is just reading that they updated their diary.
I'm realizing how important support is to me and my success and I know there has to be others out there that need support as much as I do and are into doing this as much as I am... or was... I'm trying to get back.

I have a lot of weight to lose and a lot of health to gain. I really could stand to lose at least 150 pounds.

So if you are looking for support and to give some too, if you've had some great success and want someone to message back and forth with consistently even daily, a true partner in this road ahead - please add me. I'm hoping to find someone that started where I am or close to it, or is at that point now.

I've been overweight since about 13 really, but was a little heavier than my classmates starting at about 8. I'm 34 now. I had lost 60 pounds this year but regained 20-30 of that. I'm not afraid to try different things, though I have to convince myself first. I can get a bad case of the "I don't wanna"s. I eat for pleasure, out of boredom, to celebrate, to console, any emotion whatsoever, it is almost a ritual to me. My biggest issue is fast food and a dislike of vegetables (though I'm trying!). I am a gamer and spend a lot of time sitting on my butt gaming.
I am just sick and tired of my fat being an excuse for everything, sick of hiding behind it, sick of it stopping me from doing things I want to do.

TL;DR - I need support. You need support? Friend me.

Replies

  • linzanne5
    linzanne5 Posts: 26 Member
    I'm in the same boat as you! I don't really have anyone close to me that can make this journey. I have to rely on myself which can be very difficult at times. I'd love to support you on your journey! I log in every day and try to give support to my active friends. I've been trying to clean up my friends list because there are a lot of people who have stopped logging in. I'm in if you are! Let's do this!!!
  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
    Bless you, I felt very moved by your post. My weight loss journey has been going on for over 25 years and I would ideally like to lose 2 stone (28 pounds) but it's just not budging. I've spent time recently trying to have a healthier attitude to food so haven't been completing the diaries very often but I do log on every day. I am fortunate to have some amazing friends on here and their support and encouragement is invaluable. I do hope that you find some equally wonderful people to support you. If you would like to add me, please do. All the very best with your weight loss journey xxx
  • kristen6022
    kristen6022 Posts: 1,923 Member
    Oddly enough, I found that losing weight on my own (I'm single, live alone, none of my friends were wanting to lose weight, etc) was easier. I'm in maintenance now and dating/living with someone and I find it horribly hard to keep the bad food out of my mouth now and harder to workout. When I was living alone and single I found it easier to say no to Happy Hours and late night eating and easier to say yes to balanced dinners and hour workouts.

    I believe losing weight is something best done for yourself/by yourself. You need to find the strength to go this alone. You do this for no one but yourself, why would you need support? You are your best cheerleader! Because really when the chips are down, and no one is there to pick up the pieces you need to do the hard work yourself.

    I don't mean to mean. A lot people around here rely on people to help them, but really in reality they are just trying to keep their head above water themselves. I wish you good luck!
  • Gitn_Fit
    Gitn_Fit Posts: 40 Member
    I agree with you completely kristen, it IS easier to go it alone than it is with people who don't understand and want you to go out with them, drink, out to eat, etc. Thankfully, that wasn't what I was asking for - I am hoping to find others of like mind and like goals. It is like finding teammates that know the game vs. hitting a ball to yourself vs. trying to get someone to play who doesn't get the game and isn't interested in it. Hopefully you see the distinction.

    I have gone at this alone and I have had success in doing so. I would like someone to share it with, someone to talk about it with who gets it, someone who maybe has ideas and recipes. Why would I need support? Because I'm human and we are social creatures. Maybe because I don't have anyone in my corner and I didn't get to this weight by being completely healthy mentally and emotionally. The work is mine to do, no one is going to put the shoes on my feet and walk my legs for me, no one is going to cook my meals or buy my groceries for me. But in a moment of weakness, when I am tired or I've had a long week, having someone tell you how it is might be just the push that is needed to remind me of why I am doing this for myself. I really don't see why that is such a horrible thing. And really... MFP forums might be pretty empty if people didn't need people :)

    ETA... also when I am supporting someone else and kicking their butt and calling their BS it helps keep me motivated and on track too. *shrug*
  • Gaming is great - it's fun and exciting....but it is sedentary (not active). If you want to get fit then every 2 hours you spend gaming must be matched by a 1 hour physical exercise. 2 for 1 (1 for 1 would be much better but baby steps here). Exercise comes first, then the gaming. No exercise that day? guess what....

    Consider it. Just a suggestion.

    Oh, and eat your veggies. East them raw - have them ready to go in the fridge and when you come home from work/school whatever and your hungry - munch on them while you are cooking. Fast food? No way - once a month maybe.

    And keep your eyes on the prize! It is possible.
  • Feel free to add me as friend, I log everyday and support my friends. Would love to have you in my group of friends. It take a lot of support to keep on track and accountability is a big part of it for me. I log all my foods no matter if I am over or ate something I should not have we are all human and it is important to see it when I do and have to log the food choice I made. This has sure helped me learn a lot about how I make food choices when we go out to eat. I think no one should have to feel like they have to do this alone!! I would never make it with out all my friends.
    Have a great night!

    Cheri :wink: