when others think your losing to much

buffcleb

I started my weight lose at 280 pounds in September. My last weigh in puts me at 234. I still wear the same clothing but my pants are pretty baggy. Had to add several new holes to my belts.

I get lots of complements and when I tell people I want to lose 50 more pounds they give me the look and tell me thats too much... my original goal was 210. Still overweight but no longer obese on the charts. I weighed about 180 when I graduated highschool and now want to get back to that weight.

So does anyone else get this from friends? they think it would be too much... I figure if I am going in the right direction why stop...

weird_me2

It's common for a lot of people. It tends to be more common as a person gets to a "normal" weight in America and tells people that they want to be smaller. Since 2/3 of Americans are overweight or obese, if you start getting down to a lower weight, you can start looking skinny, even if you aren't really close to being underweight.

One thing that might be contributing to your friends' comments is the fact that your clothing is so baggy it could be making you appear that you're already getting "too skinny". Maybe invest in some clothing that fits and the comments will stop?

ETA: Aiming for a high school weight may also be too low for your adult male body-you'll have to figure that out as you get closer. My DH was scrawny in high school and didn't really put on any mass until he was closer to 30. Now, he's almost 40 and trying to lose a few pounds and said he wanted to get back to high school weight. There's no way he'd look good at that weight now since he does have more muscle mass than he did then. You may be the same way?

Scottb4857

I got that a lot when I got "Skinny" some years back which translates to I got healthy. Everyone has an opinion, some right, some wrong, but in the end who cares! Do what is right for you. My suggestion would be that instead of shooting for some weight from 17-18 years ago, set one based on fitness. Maybe shoot for 10% body fat then reevaluate. Maybe at that point you want to get super lean and go for 6-7%. No matter what you choose, do it healthily and maintain that lean body mass. Just my 2 cents worth.

cwolfman13

My advice...aim for a healthy weight for your height and age. I took a quick look at your profile and you stated that you wanted to be around awhile to watch your daughters grow up...I'm in the same boat; getting to a healthy weight substantilly increases your odds of just that.

I agree with weird_me2...a lot of people don't know what "healthy" looks like...they're used to seeing fat *kitten* all over the place. When I first started on this whole adventure, I was around 210 Lbs @ 5' 10" and 38 years old...I had a ton of people asking me why I was trying to lose weight...I looked perfectly healthy to them...even my wife was like, "don't lose too much." I actually showed them the numbers and that in fact, @ my age and height I was overweight and teatering on obese and needed to lose about 35Lbs. I was also starting to have health complications attributable to my weight...so here I am. I've also promised my wife 6 pack abs!

I also agree that investing in some new duds may help...getting ready to do so myself...started off at 210 and am now down to 198.8...ok 199 and I'm just on the edge of going down a pants size. If your clothes are baggy, it makes you look skinny in an "unhealthy" and unnatural way...it's simply not the best presentation. Unfortunately, investment in new clothing is something that just goes with this whole lifestyle change...but on the bright side, with properly fitting clothes, you can strut your stuff!

elleloch

Oh yeah I have gotten it a few times. I've even gotten "well you didn't need to lose weight."

I ignore it. This is about me looking and feeling the way I want to look and feel. You know?

believe22

I think when you tell a person a specific amount of weight, they tend to think it sounds like more than it is (does that make sense?) like when I tell someone I have 20/25lbs to be at my goal weight, I get a raised eyebrow. but If I was to say my goal weight is 140/145 I get a different reaction.

BalenciaLynn

I've found when someone says they have lost such a high number people can't picture them with that much weight on them anymore, so it seems like its a crazy high number when really its not.

prokomds

It's common for a lot of people. It tends to be more common as a person gets to a "normal" weight in America and tells people that they want to be smaller. Since 2/3 of Americans are overweight or obese, if you start getting down to a lower weight, you can start looking skinny, even if you aren't really close to being underweight.

One thing that might be contributing to your friends' comments is the fact that your clothing is so baggy it could be making you appear that you're already getting "too skinny". Maybe invest in some clothing that fits and the comments will stop?

ETA: Aiming for a high school weight may also be too low for your adult male body-you'll have to figure that out as you get closer. My DH was scrawny in high school and didn't really put on any mass until he was closer to 30. Now, he's almost 40 and trying to lose a few pounds and said he wanted to get back to high school weight. There's no way he'd look good at that weight now since he does have more muscle mass than he did then. You may be the same way?

That last bit is really good advice. You're likely to have more lean body mass now as an adult than when you were in high school, so be careful trying to get back to that weight. 18-year-old boys aren't done developing! This especially applies if you've been doing strength training and increasing that lean body mass

Now, I'm not saying you don't have more weight to lose, but your ideal is probably somewhere in the middle. Just something to think about. Best of luck!

disasterman

I've stopped telling people I'm still losing and just thank them for the compliment.

rileysowner

I started at 255, and by 220 or so people were saying the same to me. I look at my build and want to get down to about 160-170. They will say that is too low, but I can guarantee that if you lift weights while you do this and keep the muscle mass you have, you will look fine even losing those 50 more pounds. My advice, just nod and make a mental note not to tell them your goals ever again.

tigstoy

a receptionist at Weight Watchers told me that I looked to thin and I should stop losing. REally made me mad that she would say that to me. I was feeling so great, and she crushed my spirit, so I quit going to WW. But now I'm using MFP and crushing the numbers week by week, this time the only one that is going to tell me that I'm to thin is ME.. :happy:

bearsmom82

I usually judge people by their character, not their appearance - but when someone criticizes my body, then I check out theirs - and usually notice that the ones who think I'm skinny tend to have their own BMI in the unhealthy range....

jr1985

Most of the time when people say that... they are jealous because you are loosing and they are not... so they don't want to be the only out of shape one around... As long as you've gone over it with your doctor and he says it's healthy for you... I say get to the size/weight that makes YOU happy regardless of what everyone else thinks.

BigGuy47

To those that say you're losing too much, ignore them and carry on with your goals. As you get close to your goal you may end up changing your goal. At a certain point fitness becomes more important than the number on the scale.

BCSMama

I get that too. I recently went to visit family that I hadn't seen in awhile and one of my aunts asked me if I wanted to be as "skinny" as I am. Um, yeah, that's why I've worked so hard to get this body. I am working on maintaining and toning/strength now, so am obviously still eating healthy and exercising. I get so many people that seem dumbfounded that I would still be eating healthy and exercising when i don't want to loose anymore weight. I think it's common to think that I went on a diet and now I'm done so I can go back to stuffing my face and sitting around all day, lol. They don't get that it's a lifestyle change and I'm not going back to my overweight lazy self again. Honestly, I just don't share my goals with others unless they come out and ask and then I try to be as vague as possible unless I know they will be supportive.

hollywoodguy99

People said the exact thing to me in my twenties when I got fit, and they are saying it to me now as well.

They are used to us looking a certain way. People do not like change. Actually getting to a weight that is healthy and ideal makes them have to evaluate there own body and fitness levels. If you were once thin/fit, you'll notice the people who knew you when you were thin are excited to see you becoming that way again.

It is the same as when you move from your hometown, many that you left behind are resentful and ask you how you could leave? Makes them question why they are staying.

And some good quotes to sum this up

“You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”
― John Lennon

“We judge others instantly by their clothes, their cars, their appearance, their race, their education, their social status. The list is endless. What gets me is that most people decide who another person is before they have even spoken to them. What's even worse is that these same people decide who someone else is, and don't even know who they are themselves.”
― Ashly Lorenzana

None love the messenger who brings bad news.

Sophocles

“It is far safer to know too little than too much. People will condemn the one, though they will resent being called upon to exert themselves to follow the other.”

Samuel Butler quotes (English novelist, essayist and critic, 1835-1902)

disasterman

People said the exact thing to me in my twenties when I got fit, and they are saying it to me now as well.

They are used to us looking a certain way. People do not like change. Actually getting to a weight that is healthy and ideal makes them have to evaluate there own body and fitness levels. If you were once thin/fit, you'll notice the people who knew you when you were thin are excited to see you becoming that way again.

It is the same as when you move from your hometown, many that you left behind are resentful and ask you how you could leave? Makes them question why they are staying.

And some good quotes to sum this up

“You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!”
― John Lennon

“We judge others instantly by their clothes, their cars, their appearance, their race, their education, their social status. The list is endless. What gets me is that most people decide who another person is before they have even spoken to them. What's even worse is that these same people decide who someone else is, and don't even know who they are themselves.”
― Ashly Lorenzana

None love the messenger who brings bad news.

Sophocles

“It is far safer to know too little than too much. People will condemn the one, though they will resent being called upon to exert themselves to follow the other.”

Samuel Butler quotes (English novelist, essayist and critic, 1835-1902)

Nice quotes. Just copy/pasted to my Evernotes for future reference.