Mother-inlaw coming to dinner...HELP!!

newlyf
newlyf Posts: 20 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello to all in weight loss world. I'm 2 weeks into this game and have lost 4 lbs. so far. Having my mother-inlaw over for dinner for her birthday tomorrow night. No matter how nice I've always tried to be to her she's alway looked down her nose at me, so I can feel the stress already building. I am doing everything in my power to stay on the straight and narrow with my program. Anyone got any advice?!

Thanks in advance!

Lynn

Replies

  • kellster111
    kellster111 Posts: 113 Member
    Lynn,

    I learnt a while ago that I cannot ever please my mother in law, so I don't try now. Do what you want to eat and if she doesn't like it tough. Being slimmer is a much better feeling than being disappointed when you don't get the thanks you deserve.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    i dont see the problem... she is coming to your house, so you are cooking and you are serving... make things that fit in your cals and portion your meal accordingly.... get her a birthday cake and either have some if it fits your cals, or dont bother if not...
  • TiffersStr1
    TiffersStr1 Posts: 67 Member
    One night, which eventually does become tomorrow, won't make a difference in how she feels about you and vice versa. Just continue on doing what you are doing..and GREAT JOB btw! :smile:
  • LeenaRuns
    LeenaRuns Posts: 1,309 Member
    Wine. Lots of wine.For both of you.
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
    Also, remember that you have no idea what's she's really thinking - all you can interpret are her actions and they could have multiple interpretations.

    It is really hard not to care what others think of you, but it's really important to your mental health to realise that in spite of your best efforts, you're not going to be best buddies with everyone. That's okay and it doesn't imply anything about you!

    Look after yourself and be as assertive as you can be (politely). Tell your husband how you feel and ask for help/ support. For example 'I feel intimidated by your mother and I'd like you to make sure your compliment my cooking to encourage me'. What can he do to help prepare i.e. cooking and cleaning?

    Good luck!
  • 2BeFit4Jesus
    2BeFit4Jesus Posts: 97
    Put the antidote in yours and your husband's drinks. It will look suspicious to the police if you both didn't eat the poisoned food.
  • Erica262
    Erica262 Posts: 226 Member
    "Success is the best revenge."

    I'm not really sure what your question is exactly, but maybe that quote will help? When I have to be around people I don't get along with (i.e. my mother-in-law) I'm even more motivated to stick with my goals so I can rub it in their faces later. Don't care how bad that sounds. Yes, I'm doing this for me, but encouragement (and even jealousy) from others helps keep me motivated.
  • Shawneb66
    Shawneb66 Posts: 124
    Take her to Outback for dinner...it's a win, win situation! You don't have to cook and you can get a good dose of protein and veggies. Let her complain about the way Outback cooks!! haha! They also have 2 for 1 wine!! Good Luck!!
  • Jstash88
    Jstash88 Posts: 89 Member
    You can't control wether or not she is positive and proud of you, but you CAN decide to be positive and proud of yourself and I don't care who she is, she doesn't have the power to take that from you, UNLESS YOU LET HER!
  • MrsWilsoncroft
    MrsWilsoncroft Posts: 968 Member
    Send the ***** to KFC lol
  • divacat80
    divacat80 Posts: 299 Member
    The good thing for you is that you'll be doing the cooking so you're in full control of what's going to be served. the bad thing is that you're probably going to feel frustrated by her looking down on you and your best efforts. A better idea might have been to just invite her to her favorite restaurant(even probably a cheaper idea). You have the choice to leave the reunion whenever you like and she won't be able to say she doesn't like the food or that you didn't serve her well or made her feel welcome blah blah.
    If she tells you you should have done the cooking and the party at your place you can say that you just wanted her to be happy with the food since you're having to stick to your weightloss program and that you didn't want her to have to stick to it as well.

    Have you asked her what she would like you to cook or is it a surprise party?

    You're doing a great job, don't let her spoil the thrill of your progress. As the others said, some MILs can't just ever be pleased and one night won't make her change her mind about you or your actions.

    Best of luck!
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
    Wine. Lots of wine.For both of you.


    ^^^^^this. LOL! i get stressed when my MIL comes to visit as well. count yourself lucky that it's only 1 day. mine visits for a week AND stays with us.
  • libbymcbain
    libbymcbain Posts: 206 Member
    Go out for dinner- less stress, everyone can order what they want, if she makes snarky comments about the restaurant, hey, at least she's not making them about your house.


    On a more serious note, if it's something specific like constant negative comments, well my mother-in-law did that, to such an extent that my husband told her that he realised she meant well, but I didn't need mothering like that (my own mother has passed away). She took it on the chin and is really trying (turned out she was just behaving like her mother-in-law behaved to her, she learned that behaviour even though she didn't like it herself). We get on pretty well now.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    I'd disregard my diet for the one meal. Cook something you think she'll like.
    You may never get her to love you, (mine never did) but you can keep the tension down so it doesn't affect your marriage.

    Also, you're younger. It's likely she'll die before you. So you win in the end.

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