What do you think about phone calls?

jordanlell

I feel a little silly asking about this, but I'm to the point where I need some outside opinions. My boyfriend of almost four years thinks that's it totally okay and normal to have phone conversations with other girls. And not like brief, here's-what-I-called-about-okay-bye type conversations, but long talking-just-for-the-sake-of-talking type conversations, which I find to very weird and am not at all comfortable with. I'm okay with him having female friends and all, texting is okay and hanging out at appropriate times,whatever. I just find those types of phone calls really intimate, and certainly unnecessary when they see each other often, for example, at work.

I suppose I would have been okay with something like this in high school, but we're both in our early 20s. He also has a history of crossing the line a bit with female friends.

How do you all feel about long phone conversations?

pastryari

It's about you and him. You're obviously not okay with it and strangers on the internet telling you that you're wrong or right for feeling that way is still not going to change how you feel about it.

Talk to HIM about it. If he's not willing to consider your feelings on the matter and you're not going to be able to deal with it, then it might be time to move on. Otherwise, you'll both just end up miserable.

jordanlell

We have talked about it. More than once. And he can't seem to understand why I'd have a problem with it.

Dave198lbs

that *kitten* is whack and just aint right

tigersword

Ok, so...

1. You don't want him to talk to his friends.

2. You don't trust him.

Sounds like a real great relationship here....

Would you be upset if the friends he talked to were guys,, or is this just a straight up "you're just jealous of his friends" issue?

What if you had a male friend that you talked to, would that be ok?

This sounds way too much like you are creating an issue for the sake of creating an issue. Just because you start dating someone doesn't give you the right to control whether they talk to their friends or not. And if you're worried about him "crossing the line" than that is a serious trust issue and you should probably rethink the entire relationship. If you can't trust a guy because he makes phone calls, well, that really speaks volumes about your insecurities, honestly.

TylerJ76

Just Break Up

tehzephyrsong

What do you mean by "crossing the line" with female friends? Just asking for some more details here. Based on what you've said so far, it sounds like you're the one with the problem here, not him.

shaynak112

I don't understand why there would be a problem with it either.
My boyfriend talks to his best friend (female) on the phone and texts her a lot. She's pretty cool and we all hang out sometimes. Well, they hang out more than I do with them, but it's fine.

geebusuk

People are naturally jealous and most do have some 'trust issues'.

If he wants to have long conversations with friends of any sex, I'd say it was your problem not his - of course, if there are underlying issues, then perhaps that suggests he "isn't the one".

WendyTerry420

My husband has had long conversations with other women. But these are women that are also *my* friends and they are long-winded. Frankly, I would rather that they talk to him than me if it's on the phone because I hate long phone conversations.

But if he were just a boyfriend and not my husband, and we had been together a few years instead of a couple decades, then hmm....I might feel differently then. But I don't know. It's your relationship, not mine. I don't know your boyfriend, so I couldn't say whether or not there's cause for concern.

bbgughj

I feel a little silly asking about this, but I'm to the point where I need some outside opinions. My boyfriend of almost four years thinks that's it totally okay and normal to have phone conversations with other girls. And not like brief, here's-what-I-called-about-okay-bye type conversations, but long talking-just-for-the-sake-of-talking type conversations, which I find to very weird and am not at all comfortable with. I'm okay with him having female friends and all, texting is okay and hanging out at appropriate times,whatever. I just find those types of phone calls really intimate, and certainly unnecessary when they see each other often, for example, at work.

I suppose I would have been okay with something like this in high school, but we're both in our early 20s. He also has a history of crossing the line a bit with female friends.

How do you all feel about long phone conversations?

Your too young to be having these "relationship problems" , If your Boyfriend of 4 years doesn't respect your feelings and feels it's okay to chat with other females , TELL HIM TO KICK ROCKS !

cmriverside

He also has a history of crossing the line a bit with female friends.

THIS would be a good reason why you don't trust him - and why I would not trust him.

imchicbad

I feel a little silly asking about this, but I'm to the point where I need some outside opinions. My boyfriend of almost four years thinks that's it totally okay and normal to have phone conversations with other girls. And not like brief, here's-what-I-called-about-okay-bye type conversations, but long talking-just-for-the-sake-of-talking type conversations, which I find to very weird and am not at all comfortable with. I'm okay with him having female friends and all, texting is okay and hanging out at appropriate times,whatever. I just find those types of phone calls really intimate, and certainly unnecessary when they see each other often, for example, at work.

I suppose I would have been okay with something like this in high school, but we're both in our early 20s. He also has a history of crossing the line a bit with female friends.

How do you all feel about long phone conversations?

Your 21 years old now. This isnt high school anymore, your right.


Judging by what youve posted and going by nothing else, only what youve stated:
This guy has a bad "history with crossing the line" and you know his pattern...so im assuming this is how he ended up crossing the line the first time. My question to you would be, if youve talked to him and let him know this "hurts you" and "you dont like it" and shes a"co-worker" which isnt even a friend, and plural on the girls-yeah its weird, and he keeps doing it, and its making YOU insecure and uncomfortable, obviously he has no respect-boundries and dosent care what you think doesnt seem like a trust worthy or strong relationship at all to me. What if the tables were turned?

My question is why are you still with him then?

hesn92

Meh. It would make me feel weird if they were doing this every day. Like "oh I gotta call so-and-so, we haven't talked yet today." If you have to talk to her that much and keep up with her life to that level of detail, then I would think it's obviously more than just friendship. But that is just me. If they just talk once a week or something like that then I don't see the problem.

I also don't really like to talk that much so it's hard for me to understand. My boyfriend talks on the phone with his best friend (a guy) every single day. He talks to him more than he talks to me. So it makes me want to retract my first statement. He also does have friends that are women and he talks to them... sometimes on the phone but usually not. Sometimes in facebook messages and text messages. He's more social than I am. I don't really talk to many people. Lol.

Crisitunity

My DH has one girl he has those kinds of convos with and I agree, it is weird. Maybe your husband is just the type who likes to have more intimate relationships? It's a grey area, I think. In my mind, more a sign of low self esteem than a 'high school' thing.