Frustrations with friends

cwolfman13

Generally, I'd say no...it's none of my business and it doesn't really impact me. That said, if I had a friend who was, for example, struggling with high cholesterol and they were eating a lot of food that was high in cholesterol and saturated fats...I might say something.

Different people have different goals and objectives...frankly, a lot of people just want to lose weight and look better; even if you're eating junk, that can be accomplished so long as you have a caloric deficit. Others, like myself, are doing this as an overall lifestyle change. Yes, I want to lose weight because I'm over weight...but I also want to be healthy and fit.

To boot, we all have our demons...I'd hate to be called on mine if I wasn't asking for that kind of support.

lynn1982

No. If I log a day like that, then I'm probably already feeling crappy about it and I'm logging in order to hold myself accountable. If someone craps on me on top of that, I'd probably lose it. I assume other people are the same. However, if someone specifically asks for advice, then that's a different story.

I think I may have been unclear when I posted (I wasn't really sure how to word my thoughts). I meant, not for one or two days, but consistently poor choices. Not even like fantastic breakfast, fantastic lunch, a little too much dinner and then dessert. I mean, every single day Mcdonalds for breakfast, Wendys for lunch, Large coke for dinner and 2 apple pies.

I appreciate your thoughts though and agree with them. There are days when Ben and Jerry are the only 2 people I need in my life and if one more person ran their face to me, I'd snap! lol

Oh, my apologies! I think if I was "friends" with someone who consistently ate like that then I may hide them from my wall or even possibly delete them. Although, I suppose that is not constructive. It took me a long time to realize that eating better (read: healthier) meant feeling better. And that's when the weight started coming off, almost effortlessly. (Note the "almost" here!) So maybe it's not the worst idea to say something to that effect?

rvicini

In spanish "Ni tanto que queme al santo, ni tanto que no lo alumbre", Of course, it is not criticizing all the time. It's boring.. but sometimes you have to tell a friend whatever.. It is OK to do it privately of course. It is not like that all the time... To strike a happy medium...

I fail to see how their food intake affects your progress. I also fail to see how it is your place to judge their food intake.


If my friends have a good day, I tell them. If they ate nothing but crap, or they went over their caloric limit, I still tell them good job. Ya know why? Because at least they're logging.


Oh, and I lost over 100 lbs shoveling McDonald's, In n Out, Jack in the Box, Taco Bueno, and ungodly amounts of pizza in my face.


Judgy thread is judgy.

This. I would not leave a disparaging remark about a friend's food on their page, nor would I tolerate any on mine. I am a grown women, I make my own choices and those will be respected. Elsewise, you are not my friend.

Respectfully, what do you want from a MFP pal then? Everything is alright, great photos.. blabla? Just wondering

It makes me sad to think that your sole view of an mfp friend is to critique food choices. My diary is closed to everyone but me (since it is MY diary and there for MY benefit and as many have stated, I'm a grownup who makes my own choices and deals with the consequences-don't need anyone telling me I'm a bad girl). My friends are fantastic-they are the people I talk to/with about the trials and tribulations of weight loss that people not on this journey really don't understand-like how it's a giant pia to have to completely replace your wardrobe every 4-6 weeks-my irl friends roll their eyes and say "wish I had that problem". My mfp friends are the ones I talk to/with about various challenges and things that come up in the game of life. They offer suggestions for how to stay on track when I travel for work, or recovering from surgery or offer support during the multitude of times I've wanted to throw in the towel. Not one of my mfp friends is a food-nazi and not one has ever seen my diary. They are fun, entertaining, witty, supportive and all without ever having remarked about a single bite of food I have eaten.

rvicini

Probably I went over.. I understand

RobynLB

I don't comment on what friends eat unless it's possitive or they ask. I don't think it's really my place to give unsolicited criticism to a friend or unfriend them over what they eat... be it a real life friend, or an MFP friend... kind of a DB move.

neverstray

If they are eating bad, I just don't say anything at all. there are a couple of people though that eat good and work their butts off, and when I see a bad day, I might tease them a little about it. But, it's more for fun. I try to stay positive. If I eat bad, I know I ate bad, I don't need a bunch of people telling me about it.

The only difference would be if someone asked me to do that, or if I knew someone that actually thinks a Big Mac is a healthy lunch. Then, I might be inclined to say something. But, normally, I just let it slide.

BroiledNotFried

One of my friends will ell me that I didn't eat fruit for the day, and that seems to be a great, gentle reminder.

rvicini

It is the happy medium, as I said... It is not just saying "Everything is cool", but a happy medium is not saying that "people are grownups". As far as I know, we all are.
I have heard about food nazis. i personally enjoy see people eating and keeping in line regardless of whatever they like.
I personally love pizza. My friends all do, and go to McD. Why would I criticize that?

dhiammarath

This [type of] thread is prime reason #1 that my friends list is for RL friends and family only. People I know and trust. (with the exception of one -- I got a request and went out on a limb a little bit!).

I eat what I want. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Am I healthier? Yes! Am I slimmer? Yes! Am I happier? Yes! Is what I'm doing maintainable in the long run for *me*? Yes!

That's all I care about and all my friends care about other than possibly sharing food ideas (I have a friend who has some of the most creative things). But not so I can look at their diaries and judge 'em.

quirkytizzy

Respectfully, what do you want from a MFP pal then? Everything is alright, great photos.. blabla? Just wondering. It is not a matter of being bossy, because it is extremely annoying, I agree, but if you do not want to hear from anyone then what?

What I need from my MFP friends is their help in keeping me kind and encouraging to myself, and to give me other people to also be kind and encouraging to. I can do a fine job beating myself up for bad food choices - that's part of what landed me here, in fact, and I am aiming for a different sort of approach. Something nicer. Something more positive. Something with far less of the boot-camp ***** drill-Sargent that has kept me in shame and fear of my hunger for years now.

rvicini

Totally agree...

Respectfully, what do you want from a MFP pal then? Everything is alright, great photos.. blabla? Just wondering. It is not a matter of being bossy, because it is extremely annoying, I agree, but if you do not want to hear from anyone then what?

What I need from my MFP friends is their help in keeping me kind and encouraging to myself, and to give me other people to also be kind and encouraging to. I can do a fine job beating myself up for bad food choices - that's part of what landed me here, in fact, and I am aiming for a different sort of approach. Something nicer. Something more positive. Something with far less of the boot-camp ***** drill-Sargent that has kept me in shame and fear of my hunger for years now.

rvicini

One thing is to encourage and help and other thing is to start criticizing food choices. I hate it when people do that. I agree.

This [type of] thread is prime reason #1 that my friends list is for RL friends and family only. People I know and trust. (with the exception of one -- I got a request and went out on a limb a little bit!).

I eat what I want. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Am I healthier? Yes! Am I slimmer? Yes! Am I happier? Yes! Is what I'm doing maintainable in the long run for *me*? Yes!

That's all I care about and all my friends care about other than possibly sharing food ideas (I have a friend who has some of the most creative things). But not so I can look at their diaries and judge 'em.

XandyNoCandy

An occassional spluge.But if the MFP friend is eating unconsciously all of the time and choosing 80% highl-processed foods, hey - I don't need to be around that on-line or IRL.

smyr630

It irritates me when my friends do that too, but I typically de-add them unless I have a great relationship with them. The people on here I have a great virtual relationship with I would just call them out.

belladonna786

Sweet Lord! How does any of this affect YOUR weight loss? If you don't like it delete them and move on. Don't make threads about how petty you are and have everyone else join in on your "look how much better I am than you" party!