Single Parents

_jk0g_

Hi! I am recently separated and I was wondering how you were dealing with trying to lose weight, life, kids, and all that goes with divorce.

I think I am doing okay. Getting up at 5AM to workout, meal planning, and trying my best to be a good mom. There are days when all of it gets me down and I want to go into the pantry and eat everything in sight! My weight loss has continued thankfully. But I worry as time passes and I feel more of the sadness it will overcome me. As with anything I am doing my best to hold my head high, but I think like anything the emotions get to you.

Thoughts? Advice? Share your own story?

Thanks!

waronmyfat

it took me 2 years to get back on my feet and find my way after splitting from my husband who was an *kitten* anyways.. I manange to work 3 jobs exercise and do eveything I need to do with my kids .. its not easy and requires alot of planning and preparation on my part .. I have a saying 5 P's Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance The first two years all i did was I eat, feel sorry for myself and was miserable ... I was trying to find who I was after whom I had become.. I'm glad to say I'm happy once again and my kids lives and mine have never been better.. you will do it.

RHeishman

I went through a divorce. Not by my choice. My now ex decided she would rather have the clubs and party, rather than be a mom. We were married for 7 years. I was happy, I thought she was too. I was active duty in the Air Force, the career was doing well and I was getting prepared for my first transfer overseas. When suddenly she drops a bomb on my and says she wants a divorce. I thought my world was coming to an end. All I could think of was "how can you break up our family"? I kept hearing stories of others seeing her at the clubs, when I would be at work. I remember countless times waiting for her to come home late at night. I don't know, I kept trying.
The divorce was horrible, the fighting and all the accusations. And when kids are involved, it is even worse. She tried everything to hurt me, she even had me arrested for "offensive touching". That was dropped when she couldn't prove her case. And she couldn't, because I'm not that type of a person. It was the lowest point in my life, I can't tell you the times I cried going into a empty house. I would hear the voices of the kids echoing in the house. I would visualize where the coach was, where our Christmas tree was. I thought that my world had ended. I truly loved being married. I was scared to be alone. I thought I would never meet anyone again.
Any way I could write a book, but let me skip some chapters and say this.
I met a lady, who is now my wife of nearly 20 years. For every thing that happens, there is a reason. We may not know the reason at that time, but there is. If it were not for that horrible event in my life, I would never have met my wife.
Let me say this.
Right now, it hurts. And you are going to hurt. And that is ok. Recognize it. Face it, I know you can. You are a lot stronger than you think you are. Be there for your children, they will need you.
Eventually, you are going to meet the right person. And when you do, you will be in love again and you will move on. You can move on now, you don't need anyone in your life just now.
You are a human being, you are a strong woman. You are entitled to cry, you are entitled to hurt. But you are strong, and you will get through all of this.
I describe life like this, to people.
Do you remember when you were growing up and your parents would take you on a long road trip? You would sit in the back, bored and always asking..."Are we there yet?". And of course the parents would get tired of us asking.
Well, in life, I look at us being the kids riding in a big car we call life. God is our driver. Sometimes we just need to realize that life is going to come across bumpy roads. It isn't all smooth sailing. But we have a destiny, we have a purpose. And instead of asking God, "Am I there yet?". Just enjoy the trip, look out the window, and learn from each place we visit in life.
You are ok, you are going to be ok. Smile, look at that face in the mirror. You are a beautiful and attrative young woman with a HUGE heart of gold. You will meet someone who will treat you right. And when you do, you're going to look back on this experience as a closed chapter!!

snoopytwins

It gets better. It takes lots of effort and planning to do all the parenting and household stuff yourself. Then mix in the emotional devastation and hurt...it sometimes felt impossible. Take care of yourself. If you feel down, feel down, have a good cry, and pick yourself up. My most difficult moments when going through my separation and divorce were when the kids went to bed or were with their dad. I found idle time to be time to think about how hurt, overwhelmed, and inadequate I felt. So...I tried to stay busy. Lol. I used that time to workout, read, go out with friends (when they were with their dad), etc. It takes time, plain and simple. But, it will get better. I realized I could do it...that realization makes you feel awesome and you'll get there some day. As RHeishman ^^^ put it, my chapter has closed, and I now appreciate how awful I, in fact, felt during my marriage. Now, I'm happy.

_jk0g_

Thank you so much for sharing your stories and advice! I know that I am not alone in this journey and it just nice to hear other's experiences!

Love to all!