anyone have their aging parent living with them?

gbers
gbers Posts: 55 Member
in Motivation and Support
my mom recently fell (age 88) and is now living with us. i would love to know what strategies, ideas, helpful hints, any of you have, which you could share with me. this is a new chapter in my life and i would really love to get advice on how to handle this as well as maintain my healthy lifestyle. thanks for any suggestions! gbers :)

Replies

  • MSam1205
    MSam1205 Posts: 439 Member
    I don't have my mom (age 83) living with me, but she has come for extended visits. In the past, I had alway had a hard time dealing with her criticism, but these last two visits, I handled it very differently. I spoke up for myself more when she would criticize my food choices etc. My line was I've lost 50+ lbs so I must be doing something right!

    I also realized I did not have to "babysit" her all the time. I continued with my exercise routine at the gym, went out with friends, etc. and if she wanted to go join me or go somewhere, she told me. For the most part she was happy to hang out with the cat and dog and relax. That said, she was fairly mobile, given some back and hip issues. So was able to manage most things for herself.

    I think most important thing I've heard from many friends in this situation is to continue to make time for you, even if it required someone coming in to stay with her. I know that it can also create issues among siblings (if you have them) whereby expectations are set and not met (help, visits, etc) or that you are "taking over" Try to stay open on the communication with family, and cherish the time you have with her. I learned a lot about her life growing up as we sat and talked in the evenings.

    Best of luck, you're doing a very good thing!:heart:
  • orapronobis
    orapronobis Posts: 460 Member
    Every situation is different. I cared for my mom the last 2 1/2 years of her life. She was in need of total care. I learned a lot about medical care. I learned that I could do more than I ever imagined. I learned that my husband and daughter are incredibly loving people, without whom I might not have managed. Most importantly, I saw the power of prayer first hand. There was nothing in my background that would make me competent to tend to catheters, feeding tubes and injections. But each time something new came up, I would just pray, "God, I can do this, if you give me the strength." And lastly, I learned that I'll never regret giving of myself for my mother. I miss her every day.
  • bikhi
    bikhi Posts: 175
    i live with my 88 year old mother and my 86 year old father. just got my mom an ipad for christmas. that keeps her busy for hours.
  • gbers
    gbers Posts: 55 Member
    thank you all for sharing your lives with me about your dear parents. i really appreciate you letting me into your worlds. i am going to try some of your ideas.
    thank you again,
    gbers :)
  • keeponkickin
    keeponkickin Posts: 1,520 Member
    My mom lived with me and I cared for her 24 / 7 as she was dying of cancer. I also have a husband, 4 kids and one with special needs. Talk about challenging. I learned to let things go that didn't matter in the big picture of things. I would take care of my exercise needs before dealing with dishes, housework, etc. I came first over those things. It's hard, but put you first with your diet and exercise and everything else will fall into place after that.

    Good luck to you.

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