Body image/husband advice!

vharding7

I sort of feel like I'm being a little bit ridiculous here but I wanted to see what other people thought. My husband and I are very close and we are both very comfortable with each other. I have always had pretty good self esteem, especially since losing weight on here (although like everyone else I still have my moments where I'm just like.. ugh!) lol.

We are not afraid to joke around and say silly things like hey there's your girlfriend/boyfriend when watching a TV show where one of us thinks the person is good looking, stuff like that. It's all just in fun and I'm fine with it. However the other day we were watching this show on Netflix called Fight Factory and in the opening credits there is a ring girl walking around and of course the camera does a close up of her behind. My husband then says "Why the hell do they bother showing her *kitten*, its full of cellulite! I don't want to see that.". Now before I go on let me say that he really isn't that kind of guy (or so I thought) that is overly concerned with that kind of stuff. He's more of a hey if she's naked and cares about her body who cares kind of guy. What made me feel bad about it is I HAVE cellulite on my *kitten*! It's not bad or anything and it has improved with my weight loss but I just felt like hey, does he think that about me?? I didn't want to say anything though because I don;t want to make a big deal about it. He was just being honest, and I don't want to ruin that between us. But I still kind of feel yucky about the whole thing.. Am I being ridiculous? Should I say anything? Or just let it go?

ChaoticMum

My hubby andi have the same joking relationship. I would say something like "so..you know when you said that ring chick had cellulite and you didn't want to see it? Was that just hers or do you think mine is gross too?" it's possible that it's kinda like my baby stretch mark belly is not unattractive to my hubby, but he doesn't necessarily get turned on by anyone's stretch mark belly...kwim?

BuffedMan

From a guy's perspective, and based on what you described, I'd say let it go. The two of you are comfortable making comments about other people's bodies in a jesting way, so you've set an agreement that voicing your opinions is acceptable. His criticism of someone else should not be taken as a reflection of how he views you -- that cellulite on your butt is attached to you, and that makes it loveable to him. Besides, have you ever made a negative comment about another guy in front of him that might actually apply to him? Chances are, he didn't take it personally. More importantly, was his objection that the ring girl had cellulite, or rather that the camera was doing a close up on her butt? Personally, I hate it when the camera turns people into body parts. You also have the option of asking him directly, "Honey, what do you think of my butt?" If he has any brain cells and two ounces of common sense, he's going to let you know that your butt -- cellulite and all -- is just as loved as the rest of you.

rachf2013

My boyfriend and I joke the same way, but sometimes when a really hot girl comes on screen he'll find a flaw in her. I think in his head he's doing it to make me feel better- finding flaws in those perfect looking women.
I bet your husband doesnt think of your butt as having cellulite. I wouldnt worry about it, good men dont see the flaws in the women they love.

keith0373

Definitely let it go. Buffed man has it right! I would make fun of someone built like me in a movie. We are there for entertainment, not reality.

Phoenixchichima

may be a case of "if you're showing it on national tv, it better be perfect & it aint"
as in "dont flaunt what you dont got" it may be a comment on her vanity not being sustained by reality and that may be the difference.

Pixi_Rex

Let it go.

He loved you obviously and he didn't say it about you so just let it go.

TavistockToad

you are being ridiculous... he was talking about HER ar*e, not yours.... that is all...

b1essed

Let it go......you know he loves YOU!!!!

al369

From a guy's perspective, and based on what you described, I'd say let it go. The two of you are comfortable making comments about other people's bodies in a jesting way, so you've set an agreement that voicing your opinions is acceptable. His criticism of someone else should not be taken as a reflection of how he views you -- that cellulite on your butt is attached to you, and that makes it loveable to him. Besides, have you ever made a negative comment about another guy in front of him that might actually apply to him? Chances are, he didn't take it personally. More importantly, was his objection that the ring girl had cellulite, or rather that the camera was doing a close up on her butt? Personally, I hate it when the camera turns people into body parts. You also have the option of asking him directly, "Honey, what do you think of my butt?" If he has any brain cells and two ounces of common sense, he's going to let you know that your butt -- cellulite and all -- is just as loved as the rest of you.

All of this. And to reiterate, his reaction to another person's body (on TV especially) is NOT the same as how he views your body.

CincinnatiDEIFan

My boyfriend and I joke the same way, but sometimes when a really hot girl comes on screen he'll find a flaw in her. I think in his head he's doing it to make me feel better- finding flaws in those perfect looking women.
I bet your husband doesnt think of your butt as having cellulite. I wouldnt worry about it, good men dont see the flaws in the women they love.

I couldn't have said it better!

dmpizza

There is AND SHOULD BE a different standard for what is on TV and what is real life.

Don't worry about it.

johnny059qn

My wife and I do the same thing.

It means nothing. As a guy, I would expect perfection of any hottie on TV. He was probably being over critical of her. He loves your *kitten* better. Trust me. My wife is not in perfect shape, we are both working on it. But I think she is the HOTTEST of any of the fantasy girls on TV, movies or what ever.

Natalie Portman is my Girlfriend!

ChasingAmyLiz

From a guy's perspective, and based on what you described, I'd say let it go. The two of you are comfortable making comments about other people's bodies in a jesting way, so you've set an agreement that voicing your opinions is acceptable. His criticism of someone else should not be taken as a reflection of how he views you -- that cellulite on your butt is attached to you, and that makes it loveable to him. Besides, have you ever made a negative comment about another guy in front of him that might actually apply to him? Chances are, he didn't take it personally. More importantly, was his objection that the ring girl had cellulite, or rather that the camera was doing a close up on her butt? Personally, I hate it when the camera turns people into body parts. You also have the option of asking him directly, "Honey, what do you think of my butt?" If he has any brain cells and two ounces of common sense, he's going to let you know that your butt -- cellulite and all -- is just as loved as the rest of you.

^^THIS. End of story.

StaceyJ2008

He may not see the cellulite on your *kitten*. He may just think his wife is smokin hot.

xMonroeMisfit

At least he finds something wrong with them.

My fiance will literally drool. Sometimes i'll have to ask him if he wants a napkin.

It's all in fun, he probably is just comfortable speaking his mind to you and probably doesn't even critique your body like that. She's in show business, that body better be right on point or someones' trainer/manager is getting the axe. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Tishy78

In the same situation, I would expect that my husband was only making the comment based on the fact that those girls are paid to look their best. It is their job.

While my extra weight was sure not what his ideal would be, it never meant that he didn't still want me, flaws and all One of the benefits of love.

Let it go and keep enjoying that relationship!

yokurio

I'd personally say that he's just used to the open talk from your relationship. He feels that he can say stuff to you that he wouldn't say if you guys weren't so free to say what you want. If he know's you are taking things the wrong way and that it could possibly hurt your feelings, he wouldn't say them. You can do one of two things, if the comments really do bother you, I'd say you should tell him and he will adjust, but that will change your relationship a bit. If you can handle it and not take things personal, then just suck it up cupcake... lol. He seems like the kind of guy that loves you for more than just your body, and you losing weight recently and not being "perfect" but close to it in his eyes, is like icing on the cake for him. My opinion, change your opinion of who needs to think you look good. It's nice to have others view you as attractive, but you should do what makes you feel happy with your body, no one else. Everyone else needs to like you for who you are.

FitBeto

Hey I have a joking relationship too, but there are things that you just don't touch - weight being one. You have to have some kind of common sense when insulting a women, if you want to live, or at least not want to join BBA

ACepero79

My boyfriend and I joke the same way, but sometimes when a really hot girl comes on screen he'll find a flaw in her. I think in his head he's doing it to make me feel better- finding flaws in those perfect looking women.
I bet your husband doesnt think of your butt as having cellulite. I wouldnt worry about it, good men dont see the flaws in the women they love.

Ding ding ding...that's exactly what he's doing.

I do the same thing. I'll say things like, "her boobs are too big!", or "her butt is flat!" She's never asked me if I thought her boobs were too big. But that's probably because I don't see a flaw with her boobs.

wolfehound22

Let it go for sure, for me I've made comments about different people, and my wife has taken them as some sort of a negative on her, but to me she's perfect, and what ever flaws she thinks she has, I am blind to them. So just because I make a comment about someone, and she feels she has the same thing or worse, doesn't mean I think she is any less desirable.

Also, you don't want to ruin the joking relationship you guys have, you say something about this, and he's going to feel like he has to hold back, so it won't offend you.

johnnys30

I would take it more as a way of saying they could show anything why pick to zoom in on her *kitten*? I have no idea who the girl was but presumably she had more flattering features they could have focused on.

Another angle is I recall in the Olympics there was a member of the women's volleyball team who did not appear to be in shape at all. My comment was I am not in tip top shape myself or anything, but I'm not in the freaking Olympics. Come on!

I wouldn't read too much into it. It is a ring girl's profession to be model-esque. It is a professional athlete or Olympian's job to be in elite shape.

toriaenator

i think the fact he said that means he thinks yours is better i mean otherwise i highly doubt he would have said jack so id let it go however i think you should work on your self esteem; you look great, youve done great and accomplished so much so be proud

bbgughj

Hi
From a guys point of view , Your over reacting , We see flaw in everyone except the ones we love . Don't let it bother you !

spade117

Divorce.

Kellyeee2013

It sounds like maybe he quickly thought up something to make it seem as though he was not attracted to her and not hurt you feelings (maybe) without realizing what he was quickly saying sort of applied to you as well, if that makes sense. But, it bothers me period when men comment on women in anyway, especially in front of their parner because women have enough social expectations and eating disorders and self-esteem issues, that men should really cut us some slack and be sensitive. If it were me, I would speak to him about it... but that would just be me. If something is bothering me then it is important enough to be discussed.

FitForeverAgain

I'm a guy. I like girls. Guys aren't very bright sometimes. We occasionally say things off the cuff that aren't relevant, and inspired by a portion of our partially recessed Neanderlithic inner self. In other words, we're idiots every once in awhile. 97% of the time, we live in the real world. That other 3% of the time, please simply forgive us.

In short, he still finds you sexy - especially when you're giving him the attention he gets nowhere else. He considers himself lucky to have you. Don't let one stupid comment spoil things. He saw some girl's *kitten* that was supposed to be perfect for the whole world, it wasn't. Your *kitten* is perfect for him - he's obviously lucky it's around for him to look at!

In short - women are gorgeous (including you), especially the ones who choose to be with us guys!

AliciaFlagg

My fiance and I have that relationship as well! He is always pointing out flaws of actresses and beautiful women, and I always say something. I ask him if she is ugly wth do you think of me LOL. He always says "I love you, so none of that matters, but they are focusing on her body and she has imperfections. Not something I want to see on tv." He just feels that if they are on tv and are supposed to be a sex symbol they should look the part, kind of thing. I know it sounds shallow but I get what he is saying haha

jakidb

Honestly that kind of stuff bothers me too at times--if my btr half wld comment on someone (including those on tv) whether expressing distaste or complimenting, I wld have to agree w/most of the ppl who have commented to this thread...LET IT GO. I'm learning to understand that my btr half loves "me" in all my imperfections whether physical or not.

vharding7

Thank you all for the advice, like I said usually I feel pretty good about myself, especially since joining myfitnesspal and reading all of the message board stuff- it's inspiring! I do sometimes get a little insecure, but I'm going to just let it go. Like most of you said it was just him being a guy and he probably hasn't even thought abut it since! I feel much better about it now. You guys are awesome!

BalenciaLynn

Maybe he was saying it because he didnt want you to think that he was staring at her *kitten*?