thoughts on skinnyfat--men specifically but all welcome
Replies
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Would YOU be upset if you met a great guy and discovered he didn't have True Blood worthy abs? Then give guys the same benefit of the doubt. Any guy who expects a ~40 year old woman to have the body of a 20 year old needs his attitude adjusted.
That's not stopping me from trying
but I'm doing it for me, because I like pushing myself and finding out just what I'm capable of accomplishing. If you want to tighten up, weights are the way to do it. If you don't, you already look fabulous.
I have to agree with this! I personally have no interest in weight lifting and luckily my hubby likes a little softness to cuddle. I'm also 40 and have been with my hubby for 23 years (and he's liked it all! LOL). Weight training is "hard work" and a big commitment (hats off to the ladies who do it!). So do what you want for you and the right guy will find that attractive!0 -
My exercise routine is mostly limited to walking (I live in NYC, its what we do), and yoga. No weights, no cardio...no gym membership at all.
what??
::looks around to double check what city i live in::
no it's not.
sure, we walk in new york.
but we also run in new york.
we lift in new york.
we swim and bike and climb in new york.
we even do a little yoga in new york.0 -
I'm not sure I would call you "skinny-fat." I've always understood that term to be someone who has absolutely no muscle tone, who looks like loose skin and fat hanging off bones. I've seen that before, and that's different than what I see in your great photos. You look nice and healthy, and your calves are nicely defined. If you're walking everywhere, you're getting aerobic exercise, and that is going to help with maintaining some lean body mass and fat burning. There are so many levels of "toned," and being happy on that spectrum is what matters. But for the record, I think you look fantastic.0
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it's all fine when you stood up but it all hangs when ur on top
Im so glad I went slow and focused on strength, i would die if I couldn't be on top and happy with how I looked up there...
My exercise routine is mostly limited to walking (I live in NYC, its what we do), and yoga. No weights, no cardio...no gym membership at all.
what??
::looks around to double check what city i live in::
no it's not.
sure, we walk in new york.
but we also run in new york.
we lift in new york.
we swim and bike and climb in new york.
we even do a little yoga in new york.
NYC IS A GYM!
I live here too, I walk a minimum of 5-6 miles a day, which makes a 30 minute run in the pretty parks in the morning a no big deal no brainer, and every park has a jungle gym where you can practice pullups, do bodyweight circuits, hang from the monkey bars upside down from your knees and do crunches... there are entire highways built in honor of the fit-minded! promenades for walkers, cyclists, rollerbladers, runners... every street, every bridge, every sidewalk all mapped out so you can be the strongest you need to be.
NYC parks and recreation weights gyms are $50 A YEAR.
Being a NY Pedestrian is part of your lifestyle activity level, it's not your workout. If being a pedestrian didnt make you have a tight body before now, then it won't change what you have got going on.
If you want to weigh under a certain number, cardio and diet are beautiful things. But so few people hear you when you tell them in the beginning - "You can get to your goal weight by dieting and doing cardio, but your body simply will not look like you dream it will in your head, unless you lift weights and build up your muscles."
Don't forget that we are mammals, creatures living on this planet. The dominant one nonetheless. We have muscles on purpose that were designed to get stronger and more efficient (which is why they do), we have instincts, reflexes, response times, fight or flight... all of it....
Reading a magazine on the stationary bike isnt going to wake up all those things in you and light you up from the inside.... Its just going to end up making you mad at the gym and frustrated with your body.
Its the perfect time to jump in, go from... hmmmm I dont want to look like this naked... to *late for work cause snapping naked pics on phone*0 -
Sorry another female opinion ;P I think I know what you mean, for me my problems my belly so I intend to do a bit of heavy weights, planks, squats, lunges etc just to flatten it a bit and nip in my waist more, but I do not want a six pack or any defined muscles (although my calves are quite defined even when relaxed and when I tense them I can make out two muscles but that wasn't a purposeful objective and I don't like the look of them tensed), I also don't want to go below 125 pounds because of my build that's the lowest I can go without severley eating into my curves, (I've been lower and unlike your fab piccie, I can't pull it off, I start looking a bit flat and boyish 10 pounds lighter)
I know I can speak for my fiance as I've asked his opinion and he doesn't want me getting too hard but then again even though he's slim he's not that toned either. I would guess that really hardcore muscley guys probably dig super toned gym bunnies more but that's total speculation.
BTW I love the look of you super hot toned girls they look fab, just not for me, I like my squishy bits just want a little less layer of squish with some tone underneath
So I guess just like us girls have different ideals for our own bodies, different guys will have different ideas of they're perfect ideal too.
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For all of these women (and men) who are afraid of getting "hard". Have you ever touched someone with defined muscles?0
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I think you look wonderful and congratulations on meeting all your health goals! Thats amazing. Also, you will find an endless supply of men who are attracted to every type of woman...soft, hard, skinny, muscular, fat, short, tall, etc. And atleast a handful who think you are perfect!
Men like vaginas...the packaging around it is just the cherry on top. Lol
^^^ I have found this to be so true!! The most important thing is to be happy with yourself.0 -
Not a male, but I can say that not all men will like the same body type. Much like women do not like the same body on all men.
You need to be happy with what you see in the mirror. If *you* feel squishy and you don't want to be...pick up some 5lb and 10lbs weights you can keep at home and do some strength training to tone up. If you lilke what you see - who cares what anyone else says. Some men like a woman to be more "soft" while there are men who like more musculare physique.
BTW - congrats on your success - I think you look wonderful!0 -
I know what the original poster means. First thing I said when I hired my trainer and met with him for the first time was, "I don't wanna be skinny fat." I'm 5'4", 131 lbs, my stomach is flat but I still think it just looks flabby. I wanted to tone up and the only way you're going to achieve that is by lifting weights. That's why I hired the trainer, I knew very basic weight lighting skills so I wanted him to spend a few weeks with me, showing me what to do, how to do it properly and then hopefully once he and I are finished I can do it all on my own when I go to the gym instead of just being a cardio nerd.
I like how I feel after working with him too, I feel like I've actually done something, he pushes me and sometimes I hate him during it but I know it's going to have lasting results.
AND hopefully I won't be 'skinny fat' anymore!0 -
For all of these women (and men) who are afraid of getting "hard". Have you ever touched someone with defined muscles?
*closes eyes and goes to happy place*0 -
For all of these women (and men) who are afraid of getting "hard". Have you ever touched someone with defined muscles?
*closes eyes and goes to happy place*
I think this fear is limited to women! lol0 -
guys are scared of women who are too fit. i know this for fact.
Not true. At all. You know what kind of men are scared of women who are too fit? The insecure ones. The same ones who want quiet, meek uneducated women with no opinions. Men with such weak senses of self that can't feel strong unless you are weak, can't feel intelligent unless you are stupid, and can't feel successful if you have a career.
Are those the kind of men you want? No. So be as smart, successful, and fit as you can be and weed out the losers. There are plenty of great men who will be attracted to your character. I know THIS for fact.0 -
guys are scared of women who are too fit. i know this for fact.
Not true. At all. You know what kind of men are scared of women who are too fit? The insecure ones. The same ones who want quiet, meek uneducated women with no opinions. Men with such weak senses of self that can't feel strong unless you are weak, can't feel intelligent unless you are stupid, and can't feel successful if you have a career.
Are those the kind of men you want? No. So be as smart, successful, and fit as you can be and weed out the losers. There are plenty of great men who will be attracted to your character. I know THIS for fact.
Agreed with this post! I know plenty of guys who go after girls who are toned and in good shape because they themselves, want to stay in good shape and are toned. I know for me, I bust my behind in the gym and give up eating certain foods so I can be healthy, I don't wanna date a guy who never enters a gym and eats whatever he wants while he continues to get flabby and gain weight. I wanna be with someone, am attracted to those that have the same goals and ideas as me.0 -
Would YOU be upset if you met a great guy and discovered he didn't have True Blood worthy abs? Then give guys the same benefit of the doubt. Any guy who expects a ~40 year old woman to have the body of a 20 year old needs his attitude adjusted.
That's not stopping me from trying but I'm doing it for me, because I like pushing myself and finding out just what I'm capable of accomplishing. If you want to tighten up, weights are the way to do it. If you don't, you already look fabulous.
So agree! There's more to consider besides ripped abs and awesome biceps when chosing a partner.
I'm 29 and I had a kid by c-section. My midsection is a hot mess of strech marks and a nice scar. Will it ever be "hot" again? Who knows - I'm going to work towards it, but if I don't get bikini worthy abs, I'm ok with that. I just want to feel comfortable in any swim suit.
And like Lorina said - if you want to get "tighter", lift some weights. If not, be proud of what you've accomplished 0 -
For all of these women (and men) who are afraid of getting "hard". Have you ever touched someone with defined muscles?
*closes eyes and goes to happy place*
I think this fear is limited to women! lol
oh there's no fear in my happy place, Im just thinking about touching a strong body....
I am intimidated by the huge career lifters with gigantic veiny muscles that are roaring and can pick up cars. I kind of do not want them to cuddle me. But I will give them a thumbs up.
But really strong guys, with arms like my thighs, and hamstrings I want to sink my teeth into, and the grin that comes from seeing their hard work pay off...
I feel like like people who strength train are stronger mentally because they are constantly proving to themselves that they can overcome obstacles that are literally the next thing they cant do ... YET. but next week... next week I can do it. OR MAYBE NOW! RAWR!!!!!!!!!0 -
as long as you have boobs
jk
guys are scared of women who are too fit. i know this for fact.
So wrong. . . . just wrong. [shakes head in dismay]0 -
^ FOR REAL
all the guys that aren't "scared of too-fit women" should show up.0 -
But, when the clothes come off, I am...a bit squishy. But, isn't it more womanly to be a bit soft?
No. It is fine for you to like your body the way it is, but you don't have to imply that your body type is better in anyway than someone else's to make yourself feel good about it.0 -
You are going to get all sorts of answers here. What's important is that you've reached your goals and you should be very proud of that fact. Very. If you want to change yourself further, go at it, but know that its for you.
Another vote for this.
A happy, confident woman improves her attractiveness as does a driven goal orient woman whether she's rock solid firm or a bit squishy.0 -
My exercise routine is mostly limited to walking (I live in NYC, its what we do), and yoga. No weights, no cardio...no gym membership at all.
what??
::looks around to double check what city i live in::
no it's not.
sure, we walk in new york.
but we also run in new york.
we lift in new york.
we swim and bike and climb in new york.
we even do a little yoga in new york.
Well, I was talking about how in Manhattan we WALK as our primary form of transportation, as opposed to the degree of "pedestrianism" which occurs in nonmetropoltan areas. No need to be a jerk about it Captain_Apollo. And I'm so glad to hear about all your activities.0 -
I say if you're happy with where you are, then good for you. I wouldn't worry about what other people think. I like all kinds and shapes of women. I think most of us would rather be with someone that is comfortable with who they are than with someone obsessed with how they look. It's fine with wanting to improve your health and fitness but again do what makes you feel good and don't worry about anyone else.0
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There is a happy medium between squishy and hard-bodied and that is 'toned'. Get lifting some weights, you don't have to aim for a hard body but definitely tighten it up!
PS Well done on your weight loss so far!
so - there IS such as thing as being TONED. I knew it - I bl**dy knew it. Thank you. Thank you. :bigsmile: :blushing:0 -
First, you are a beautiful woman. If you're really a tad bit soft I don't think 99% of men would never think about that. The 1% that would are probably body builders that are perfectionists and aren't worth being with long term...in my opinion. Most men will value your intellegence, your personality & your natural beauty.
As for fitness, it would benefit your heart to include some cardio, and to tone utilizing weights doing some isolated exercises.
Also, you've accomplished amazing things achieving your health goals and should be very proud ot that.0 -
My exercise routine is mostly limited to walking (I live in NYC, its what we do), and yoga. No weights, no cardio...no gym membership at all.
what??
::looks around to double check what city i live in::
no it's not.
sure, we walk in new york.
but we also run in new york.
we lift in new york.
we swim and bike and climb in new york.
we even do a little yoga in new york.
Well, I was talking about how in Manhattan we WALK as our primary form of transportation, as opposed to the degree of "pedestrianism" which occurs in nonmetropoltan areas. No need to be a jerk about it Captain_Apollo. And I'm so glad to hear about all your activities.
sigh. all the amazing responses here, and of course you get all upset about mine. i did not word it in any way shape or form that most people would consider jerky.0 -
guys are scared of women who are too fit. i know this for fact.
Not true. At all. You know what kind of men are scared of women who are too fit? The insecure ones. The same ones who want quiet, meek uneducated women with no opinions. Men with such weak senses of self that can't feel strong unless you are weak, can't feel intelligent unless you are stupid, and can't feel successful if you have a career.
Are those the kind of men you want? No. So be as smart, successful, and fit as you can be and weed out the losers. There are plenty of great men who will be attracted to your character. I know THIS for fact.
this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this0 -
This.You are going to get all sorts of answers here. What's important is that you've reached your goals and you should be very proud of that fact. Very. If you want to change yourself further, go at it, but know that its for you.
^This0 -
Just my opinion, but I'm pretty sure men like all kinds of women. And I think you are beautiful, and you have a beautiful, warm and inviting smile. I think any man would be very lucky and happy to be with a woman like you! And a man that wouldn't see your beauty, is not a man you want anyway.0
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It doesnt have to be either or.
The women who want to look soft simply need to carry more body fat,
BUT should still lift weights.
you wont look muscular.
because you wont drop as much body fat as the women who want to show more definition.
but you will be happy with the results...i assure you0 -
It doesnt have to be either or.
The women who want to look soft simply need to carry more body fat,
BUT should still lift weights.
you wont look muscular.
because you wont drop as much body fat as the women who want to show more definition.
but you will be happy with the results...i assure you
This.
Men are stupid. Make sure you're happy, because you have to live with your choices more so than anyone else.
I'm a man, and I approve this message.0 -
I'm sorry, but people who are totally comfortable with their bodies don't make posts asking strangers if they think said body type is acceptable. TO me, this suggests that even though you've had great success, there's work to be done before YOU are really happy with your results. That said, this:It doesnt have to be either or.
The women who want to look soft simply need to carry more body fat,
BUT should still lift weights.
you wont look muscular.
because you wont drop as much body fat as the women who want to show more definition.
but you will be happy with the results...i assure you0
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