Too much iron?

bukozki

I need to preface this post by announcing that I am a robot, well technically a cyborg, but it's the robot parts that are throwing me off. I look human, appearing very much as the strong silent type, I'm very, very muscular looking, but those organic features are purely cosmetic and all my strength actually comes from my solid titanium-alloy endoskeleton. Oh that endo-skeleton, how it haunts me at the scale:indifferent: . Here's the problem, regardless of how much exercise I do, regardless of how much fat I burn, regardless of how many times I walk out of the flames of an exploding fuel tanker, my flesh completely burned away revealing to the world my ghastly nature: my endoskeleton is ALWAYS going to weigh more than double what a male of my height should weigh:indifferent: . It's difficult for me to reconcile how I look with how much I weigh, my body-image is completely caught up in that number (500kg, robots use the metric system :indifferent: ), even though I know my measurements are perfect in every way.

Machines are not generally self-conscious about their body image, but when I was sent from the future to destroy humanity's hope of defeating or preventing the robot uprising I was confronted with media images and expectations I could never have anticipated. I've been so depressed:indifferent: . Now, I just sit in the house of someone I terminated (I thought she would be the mother of the human rebels, oops...:indifferent: ) and drink old motor-oil from her garage. And I can just feel that stuff gunking up around my joints and I know I'm only making the problem worse:indifferent:.

So, I've been thinking about my problem a lot and I've been wondering if maybe I should try some more extreme methods of weight loss. I could go to a blacksmith and have the excess metal shaved off of my endoskeleton. The thing is, I calculate that the procedure could reduce my structural integrity by up to 34.566783275843747301119%, and I'd have to reveal my true nature to a human... these things could possibly jeopardize my mission to destroy humanity:indifferent:. I guess, what I'm asking is this: do you think I'm over-reacting to the number on the scale by not accepting myself as a perfect creation of the central database, or do you think I should spare the human race to live up to their standards of physical beauty, even if that concept is flawed?

Don't tell anyone about the impending robot apocalypse, they won't believe you anyway.

((I noticed my post yesterday about joining a vampire cult living in an amusement park got moderated. I would argue that I am exploring topics of weight loss and nutrition through absurdist allegory, and it bears at least as much poignancy and pertinence to this forum as favorite-food haikus--with which I have no beef--I'm just saying that there doesn't seem to be an expectation that every post provide or seek out information or support.))

PanicAtTheBuffet

Hi bukozki,

Yesterday, you took a lot of peoples' mind off the everyday diet/health/exercise discussion. Apparently some people didn't get it, but the ones' that did, we had tears in our eyes. I laughed at so many funny posts, I don't know how anyone thought it was a serious thread.

Oh well. :ohwell:

TheMaidOfAstolat

LOL. If only I had a thing for cyborgs and robots...sorry. You had me yesterday (too bad it got pulled...someone has no since of humor).

Panic-I still can't get over the Blood Lite...lol.

PanicAtTheBuffet

Panic-I still can't get over the Blood Lite...lol.

Thanks Maid, Phoenix Rising gets credit too. She set it up nicely. Yesterday was like a party, til the "cops" came. LOL

dclarsh1

I didn't read your post yesterday, but I really wish I had before it got deleted. Amusement aside, you bring up a good point about the dangers of drastic weight loss measures and accepting yourself for who you are regardless of how you look or how much you weigh. It's like an After School Special, teaching us lessons through a seriously messed up story.

Keep 'em coming

jlbay

I like your posts - very creative, entertaining and (I think) relative. I get the allegory thing.

bukozki

Thanks, this one seems to be sticking around.