Finally Ready

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kristin1781
kristin1781 Posts: 9 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I've been using MFP for a few weeks now, and reading the boards and I have finally worked up the courage to introduce myself. So many of the people posting here have been a tremendous inspiration to me so far!
I'll try to keep it short and sweet, but I have a tendency to ramble :smile:
I have a history of extremely disordered thinking when it comes to weight and my self image. Even though I've always been pretty athletic, even when I was thin I never felt like I was thin enough or pretty enough. And in my mind that made me worthless.
Fast forward to my mid-twenties, where I underwent a series of injuries over few years that included: breaking my back, tearing the rotator cuffs in both of my shoulders, a severe ankle sprain that took almost a year to fully heal, and developing arthritis. My life suddenly turned very sedentary, and for the first time I REALLY put on weight. Well, what little self esteem I had was completely blown and things went downhill from there. Depression, a divorce, being forced to separate from the military for being too fat, and a 6 month bout of unemployment took me pretty close to rock bottom. So I decided to stop caring. For two years I refused to weigh myself, beat myself up about my weight, or even acknowlege it. Strangely enough, even though I did put some more on, it was the best thing I ever did for myself. I finally learned to love who I was, even as a fat person. And it wasn't until I actually liked myself (even fat), that I decided to lose the weight. Finally, I care enough about my body to want to treat it right. I care enough about my life to want a healthy future. I know it will be difficult. I have fluctuated from a (too) low of 115 to a high of 230. But I finally feel ready to face the challenge.
I want to thank all the people who post here. You truly are inspirational.

Replies

  • Mamakatspokane
    Mamakatspokane Posts: 3,098 Member
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    YOUR insprirational! Learning to love yourself is the hardest part! Best of luck on your journey!:flowerforyou:
  • SugarHi
    SugarHi Posts: 452
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    Welcome, and well wishes to you on your weight loss journey :) A lot of us have had/still have self image issues. You're motivated to do this, and your will power is strong. These two things with consistency will get you to where you want to be. It's slow, and what were doing is making life style changes. You may see fast results and you may not. Either is okay. There really is a lot of support here, I enjoy reading posts throughout the day. Take care of you, you're doing great and you will continue to do great. :flowerforyou:

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