exercising more, eating better, getting bigger

LiviLouLou

Hi everyone, (The photo sees to have come up huuuge...hopefully this will work? http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2hqy03r&s=6 )

So I posted a topic yesterday about how my quads are growing and I don't like it. People asked for a picture so voila.
The first one was taken about 3 weeks ago..and I was definitely at my happiest then. Before this photo I was losing weight completely the wrong way (I've lost around 40 pounds since April) but this was through not eating enough and over exercising. My "net" at the end of the day would be a maximum of 200. The first photo was just after I started working out properly (by this I mean not just running for 3hrs a day but doing a little less cardio and more weights). I was also just starting to increase my food intake. My net was still only arund 6-800 though.
The second photo was taken last night. For the past 2/3 weeks I've been doing what everyone reccommends to lose ewight and get in shape. I eat between 1250-1500 cals a day and usually burn off anything from 4-600. (through weights and cardio.) I workout 6x a week, eat extremely clean (everything I eat is off an tree, animal, or out the ground!) No wheat at all..I use coconut flour and make "healthy treats" (so basically cakes made from egg whites, coconut flour, milk and baking powder) the only dairy I eat is yogurt for either breakfast or dessert. I eat 6 small meals a day (Again this is what everyone reccommended) but as you can see..I look SO much bigger. I actually weigh the same which is confusing..but its like I have actually gained fat. I really want to look like I did in the first photo again (but less wide..my stomach/body area is taking a long time to tone up).
Last night after I took that photo I sat in front of the mirror and cried for over an hour. Its so frustarting seeing people eat so much junk and not work out and they look amazing. I was trying to do this properly and changed my goals to "fit" rather than just "thin" but I'm scared I will go back to my old ways of excessive cardio and not enough food.
I really need some advise. I'm sorry this sounds so dramatic but I struggle hugely with my appearance. I've never been completely happy and I'm scared I never will be. I sometimes eat protein bars or drink shakes so will cut those out. I just feel like I've tried everything and nothing is working. I see so many fitness girls who eat up to 2500 cals a day(all healthy of course) and do a ton of weights but they just look amazing: totally defined and toned, not bulky, not "too big" but not like a twig. I feel so lost and confused and just cannot decide where to go from here.

AmyRhubarb

The tags just needed to be lowercase img. Now back to read your post.

Edited to add: photo is too big! I pasted the link into a new browser so I could see the whole thing, but maybe you can resize it?

And I don't see what you're seeing - there is no "SO much bigger" in the second pic! If anything, there might be a tiny bit more definition in your legs, but even then it's hard to tell if it's just lighting.

You are definitely eating healthier than you were, and you look fantastic, so not sure what the problem is.

BurtHuttz

You're crazy, you look fantastic. Seriously, you're crazy, and your body image is messed up.
So, you feel lost and confused and don't know where to go from here.
I respectfully and in all seriousness suggest a mental health professional. There is no point in trying to tweak your exercise or your diet any further. You are a human and you are shaped like a human and a particularly fit and attractive human at that. I don't think you have any defined, quantifiable goals, but some nebulous "look good" which is going to change because until they accept themselves, no one is happy with their body.

JosieJo2000

Honey, you could have body dysmorphia or just a very low self esteem if you think that your thighs are big. Objectively speaking, they are not. You have posted this in a few places so it's obviously worrying you.

The other alternative is that you just prefer the look of your legs with a higher % fat. A lot of models are "Skinny fat" with little muscle definition.

To be honest, I think that bodies which are strong and toned look better. You don't wobble when you walk But, if it worries you so much pull back on what you're doing.

PikaKnight

Honey, you could have body dysmorphia or just a very low self esteem if you think that your thighs are big. Objectively speaking, they are not. You have posted this in a few places so it's obviously worrying you.

The other alternative is that you just prefer the look of your legs with a higher % fat. A lot of models are "Skinny fat" with little muscle definition.

To be honest, I think that bodies which are strong and toned look better. You don't wobble when you walk But, if it worries you so much pull back on what you're doing.

^ What she said, especially about body dysmorphia.

DebbieLyn63

You look way better in the picture on the right.

taso42

You look great. There is really no difference between the 2 pictures. You might want to talk to a counselor or therapist about body image issues.

yoovie

thats puny

DontStopB_Leakin

You look great. There is really no difference between the 2 pictures. You might want to talk to a counselor or therapist about body image issues.

^This.

sarahstrezo

I don't really care what your pics show or don't show.
By your post and what you said.....you need to seek help from a professional.

nz_deevaa

There really is no difference from one shot to the other. I think the perceived 'huge' is probably just water weight in your muscle.

Keep doing what you are doing and give it some time - 6wks at least and reevaluate then.

I also agree with potentially speaking to someone in regards to body image issues.

larnsperger

I agree you look the same in both photos. Not sure what the problem is, but I'm guessing it is in your head. No offense but you may need professional help, apparently a lot of women have issues with body image that need professional help. Congratulations on the 40 lbs, you look amazing!

MoreBean13

There really is no difference from one shot to the other. I think the perceived 'huge' is probably just water weight in your muscle.

Keep doing what you are doing and give it some time - 6wks at least and reevaluate then.

I also agree with potentially speaking to someone in regards to body image issues.

^this. And what everyone else said.

geekyjock76

Based on everything you said, you should speak to someone who specializes in eating disorders. Often times when people restrict to such a degree, the psychology trauma that comes with it takes its toll on the person and they start having a warped sense of themselves and nutrition in general.

FutureSkinnyMama03

I'm not seeing any difference at all. You in NO way look fat or anything like you described in your post.

ShreddedTweet

Wait, I can definitely see a difference. In the left photo you're wearing a pink top and in the right photo a blue one. Otherwise perhaps talking to a counsellor might be a good idea.