why are numbers so important?

180to120

i wish my weight was as low as my self-esteem. how can i work on my self acceptance if i cant accept being fat? why cant i see what everyone else sees? i honestly wish vanity was not this important to me. all i want is to be beautiful. and feel beautiful. this fat, is in the way. how can i work on the self-esteem WHILE losing weight? help

belladonna786

The esteem part takes time a long long time

DanaDark

Self acceptance means contentment.

Why accept your weight when you can change it?

Honestly, I get sick of hearing others talk about how everyone should just love themselves and blah blah.

If there is something we don't like that is TOTALLY within our power to change... then change it.

The self esteem will typically come as you lose the weight, when you start needing new clothes, new belts, people start noticing, etc.

Self esteem is all fine and dandy to have, but it is not essential. Self respect is absolutely necessary.

BaristaX

I think I already see the problem, and I am not saying this to be mean, but the problem is not fat, but you.
you already have this negative opinion of yourself already, and most of the failed weight loss I have seen, were from people who just wanted to lose weight because they wanted to be "Beautiful", trying to achieve beauty through weight loss, to me, is already a doomed diet from the start, because when you are in that state of mind, you want to see results fast, but here is the kicker, weight loss won't be fast, and it will not make you feel instantly beautiful.

you will find flaws about yourself even after losing a drastic amount, because I sure hell am.

focus your weight loss for the bigger picture, your health and life, accept who you are now, because that's who you will still be (hopefully), looking "good" is just only a benefit, and if you still think physical beauty is still the most important thing, I hope you are prepared for a big eye opener later in life.

180to120

im way smarter then your giving me credit for. i know weight does not come off fast, nor am i trying to make it come off fast. im doing it the right way. im simply trying to figure out how i can love myself through my weightloss and not hate myself for the way i am now. but clearly no one knows how to help. so thanks for trying, but no thanks.

BaristaX

im way smarter then your giving me credit for. i know weight does not come off fast, nor am i trying to make it come off fast. im doing it the right way. im simply trying to figure out how i can love myself through my weightloss and not hate myself for the way i am now. but clearly no one knows how to help. so thanks for trying, but no thanks.

I was not saying you are not smart, you just already have to love yourself unconditionally as you are now, and the burden will go away, but I am not trying to jump through hoops to make you see it, I just wish you the best.

also not to add any oil, but you mentioned "no one knows how to help", what kind of answers were you expecting?

krickeyuu

Breanne, here is the rub: there is a reason why it is called SELF-esteem. You really have to find it in yourself. You are 20, I am 52--I felt like you at age 20. There are some techniques that can be used to assist with changing your mental tapes. Look-up active or dynamic meditation, creative visualization, mindfullness techniques--these are ways to get into a meditative state and change the way you talk to yourself and eliminate much of the negative self-talk. Also, write down one positive thing about yourself and one thing that you are greatful for every morning. It is a good place to start. : )

180to120

THANK YOU! thats what i call help! <333 i think im going to try writing one positive thing about myself down everyday i like that

hinzee4

I don't think you need to accept yourself the way you are . If you need to lose weight do it. But I do think you need to love yourself no matter what!! That's the most important thing! You can do that without changing a thing in the way you look! Personally I think you are quite pretty!! And you have a chance to not wait until you're 58 like me. Very difficult at this age. Good luck!!

ObtainingBalance

You can't take care of something you don't love.

Tell yourself daily that you will love yourself unconditionally, I have that posted on a note in my mirror.

Your weight is not the essence of you. I know it's hard to find self acceptance. A lot of people struggle with it. Just know your worth is not attached to your scale.

Loving yourself doesn't mean that you can't improve your body WHILE accepting it at your highest/lowest weights. If you don't accept yourself at your worst you won't be happy at your best.


http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/IceyRain

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/IceyRain/view/how-to-care-for-yourself-during-a-bad-body-image-day-448223

Good luck girl<3 Glad to see you want to improve your esteem.

doasyouwill

Have you tried seeing a counselor or therapist for it? That has been the only thing that has really helped me. All the comments here are nice and what not, but you sound like someone who could benefit from some long-term counseling to help you deal with your body-image issues.