Depression & Fighting it Off
CooperSprings
Posts: 754 Member
What is the best way to motivate when you're first getting out of a depressive episode?
I just want to be happy. I'm so upset that I gained all of my weight that I lost back- and then some- over the last 2 months of severe depression.
I want to fix this and change my body enough the depression can't have such a hold on me.
Any ideas on how best to approach this with any particular mentality towards it?
I figure just shrug it off and move on, but the fear of being a ''bump on a log'' -as my lover puts it- for the rest of my life makes me not even want to try for fear of failing again and again and again.
I just want to be happy. I'm so upset that I gained all of my weight that I lost back- and then some- over the last 2 months of severe depression.
I want to fix this and change my body enough the depression can't have such a hold on me.
Any ideas on how best to approach this with any particular mentality towards it?
I figure just shrug it off and move on, but the fear of being a ''bump on a log'' -as my lover puts it- for the rest of my life makes me not even want to try for fear of failing again and again and again.
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Replies
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Aside from the given--see your doc/adjust medications.....of course.
I'm having a similar issue. It's kinda difficult to exercise when some days it can be difficult to just take a shower and brush my teeth! And "self-soothing" with SUGAR has gotten me where I'm at today! SOOooo....I'm trying "baby steps". I'm focusing on eating healthy and under 1500 calories.....and drink more water. My goal for this week is to exercise 30 min two times. Heck, I'd take 15 minutes, 4 times this week!
I've gotten two whole days under my belt thus far....that's HUGE for me!
If you need support....I'm here
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Find things that you enjoy doing and do them
Fill your day with Activities
Have a nice warm Bubble Bath (add Hot Chocolate to the bath)
Start to eat Clean - Eliminate all processed foods - junk foods)
Go for a Walk
Replace negative thoughts with Happy ones( think of someone/something that made you happy)
Cook -- it's therapeutic
Spend time with loved ones - pets - children
Purge all things and people out of your life that doesn't compliment and enhance you in anyway
Plan out your days and stick to it
Eat Dark Chocolate 1-2 squares/day
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I've never been depressed, I have an epic self esteem.
I agree with the other response, talking with a medical professional first to work out med stuff. Also, if you are currently on something and it isn't working or is over working maybe that is part of the cause of the lack of motivation/depression?
I'd suggest one day at a time. Make a goal for the day, every single day. It is said that it takes 21 days to create a habit, make every day have a goal so at the end of the day you feel accomplished, at 21 days you may feel more motivated because it will be PART of you vs something that you just do.
The boyfriend that calls you a "Bump on the log" shouldn't do that. I doubt that is helpful to your depression or want to get healthy and lose weight. The negative things said are things we carry around with us. 0 -
I try to stay out of this mindset so my advice may not be the most accurate but honestly I really find that it helps to just force yourself to do even a little bit. Get yourself ready, brush your teeth and your hair, get dressed and already you're probably feeling a little better in just preparing yourself to do something.
Then maybe go for a walk. Doesn't have to be a super long one, just something to screw with the monotony of the day and inject a little something through the haze. Bring some music to listen to, admire the trees if you can, people watch a little bit.
When you get home, maybe instead of gunning for the computer or television, go for the book case instead. Pick out a novel to read. Stare outside your window, cuddle with your SO. Even just doing those small things you've accomplished something, and maybe it'll feel a little bit better.
And then do it again. Maybe a couple of days later add makeup to the routine before you go for a walk. Catch a bus and take a tour around your city-maybe you'll even find something new that you've never seen before.
And most of all, ignore the voice in the back of your head thats putting you down throughout it. Do the things that used to make you feel happy, even if you're not really enjoying them anymore. Keep to your daily intake goal and try to do somewhere of at least twenty minutes of physical activity in a week. Smile, even if you don't feel like it, and do it a lot and with your teeth. Slowly but surely it might start helping.
Good luck and all the best.0 -
The boyfriend that calls you a "Bump on the log" shouldn't do that. I doubt that is helpful to your depression or want to get healthy and lose weight. The negative things said are things we carry around with us.
Ah, so to stick up for him it's his way of motivating. His saying is "You can't just be a bump on a log for the rest of your life. You have to get up and do something. Grab life by the balls." It's just his manly way of putting things bluntly. He is very supportive and gives me the kick in the *kitten* that I need to even get myself out of bed.
As a side note, not all depression is based on self esteem issues. I'm not depressed because I'm ugly. I feel ugly because I'm depressed. It's just how my brain has been for a long long time. I was on medication for 9 years. I've been off for 5. I'm only 22 so that in itself is a testament to how long I've had to put up with this. Medication is not the route I want to go ever again. It has a dimming effect. I had wanted exercise to change me most. That's why I need to find that right mentality to get myself to do it. =]0 -
I completely understand its very hard but in order to get results you must make small changes one step at a time that's all it takes
Medications only covers it does not solve the issue in anyway it doesn't get to the root cause
We are here to support each other especially when we feel like we're stuck and don't know what to do
I'm here to help you step by step
Better Days are yet to come I know it's hard to see ahead to that day but it's closer than you think
You both( ChangeThePath & KBC7288) are strong and will be in a better place where the sun shines 0 -
Take a Vitamin D supplement and walk outside as much as you can. It's hard during the winter.0
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Oh, and I agree with sissiluv.....getting showered and dressed to the shoes every day helps! I'm talking full-on hair, make-up, and dressing as though you're going to an event! It may seem trivial at first, but I'm a big believer that our environment has a huge impact on how we feel 0
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It's obvious that your boyfriend cares he trying his best to motivate you and that's the only way he knows how to
It may sometimes come across harsh but it's not meant that way the reason I say that is because you're already down which makes you even more sensitive to things you would sometimes definitely take offense to it but people who don't experience or understand
What's it is can't really make it better ... Hang in there you're on the right track you've suffered way too long it's time for a change Brighter days are ahead 0 -
Start by taking a shower doing your hair your nails do things that'll make you feel better about yourself
Start eating Healthy Clean Foods -- It really does help Eliminate all junk and processed foods
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I fight the exact same issues all the time.. leaves me caring less about myself and I hate that.. Im finding that being more active "exercising" is helping. Trying to find more and more positives in my days than negatives. Depression has sucked me in soo many times. Every year at christmas is the worse
I lost my dad in 2005 and ive been a lost soul since then.. I hate it. Maybe we can figure this out together? 0 -
Hey!!
I completely understand where you are coming from. I had been battling anxiety and depression for 12 years. I was hospitalized about 5years ago, was put on 5 different medications, I am now down to 1 medication only. After I was out of the hospital I would just sleep, I went through an episode where I could barely eat. My moods were up and down like a yo yo. I cried constantly wondering how and when I could find myself again. I felt I had lost who I was, I was so confused and struggled to get my *kitten* in gear and live my life like I had before I had gotten ill. Needless to say its been a very long road but I am slowly getting there. As I mentioned I am down to 1 medication only, I am now working almost full time hours (I was off for over two years on a leave of absence) walking my dog almost every day in the trails for an hour and a half or more, I play soccer, hockey and try to go to the gym three times a week. If you would like to add me feel free to....anyone reading this. I would love to be of support and encouragement! You can do this....there is a way for everyone you just need to soul search and find how you can overcome this battle. Best wishes.0 -
It's funny that you guys say that. I never take care of myself anymore and the house is always a wreck.
That's probably as good a start as any. Just being clean.
=]0 -
Seriously....I just tonight FINALLY folded the 5 loads of CLEAN laundry that was on my bed! Like weight loss, cleaning house takes baby steps Now....maybe I'll actually get my Christmas tree up tomorrow! 0
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Get rid of as much negativity as you can!
On your diary it says "I lost self control"
Are you kidding? You don't need anymore bad self talk!
I was depressed for years
I'm on a low dose medication
and the highest dose didn't help until I started exercising!
I didn't leave my bed, I cried all day everyday, I almost lost my job...
my boyfriend, etc...
but, I forced myself to get up and move..
and it was hard..
it's still hard...
but I feel much better, I even put on makeup last night!
Keep trying, love!0 -
I've had some issues. The last bad depression I got into might have been because I quit smoking. But the things I've done to help me get out and to keep myself out of going "back under" are:
- exercise. And when I exercise, I will say motivational/positive things to or about myself. Like, "WTG, you got this" or "You can do the full workout"...etc. And if even for a moment I feel myself doubting this or I start to get negative, I push harder and literally work the negativity out.
- eating healthier (especially with my snacks) has made me feel a lot better with myself.
- cleaning the house does make me feel better because I'm taking care of my surroundings
- I also think of one positive thing about myself everyday and I post it on my MFP status. It can be something like, "I like my smile, eyes, sense of humor, etc." or "I'm proud that I did such and such workout" or "I didn't binge eat when I was so close to doing so."
Edited to add the following:
- Oh, and also do a daily list of things to do. Nothing major. Could be small stuff like:
Fold and put away laundry
Go on a 5 minute walk
Vacuum
Do a 5 minute dance just for the fun of it
Stuff like that. Doesn't have to be long. Can be just 5 things. And check it off. Do it everyday. This helps because you know that you are accomplishing what you set out to do. It's like building up your confidence that you CAN do your more serious/major long term goals 0 -
Seriously....I just tonight FINALLY folded the 5 loads of CLEAN laundry that was on my bed! Like weight loss, cleaning house takes baby steps Now....maybe I'll actually get my Christmas tree up tomorrow!
I've got four loads sitting in front of me right now from days ago. Dishes from last week in the other room. Little messes from the kids dotted around everywhere. I bet if I got up it would take me only an hour to get all of this picked up.
Here we goooo! =] Thanks, you guys!! Wow, super motivating to talk to others. And to think that I avoid it, haha! =]0 -
I know what you're going through and it is tough...I have to literally force myself to get up, take a shower, and leave the house. Leaving the house is important, whether just for exercise or to run errands. I find that once I'm up and out that I automatically feel better, but it's difficult. My therapist once told me "fake it til you make it", which basically means going through the motions of your life as if you're a normal functioning adult until you actually are a normal functioning adult. But, it's hard. The fact that sometimes the very thought of walking to the kitchen or taking a shower is exhausting, getting out and getting sunlight seems damn near impossible. So, I have to remind myself how I feel when I actually do those things. I gained all my weight from medicine having to do with depression and insomnia and then kept it on for 8yrs because of depression. But, in mid-April a friend sent me an invite to MFP and I haven't looked back. I got back to eating mostly healthy, got back to exercising, which I've always loved. And losing the weight and the exercise has helped, but I'm not gonna lie, I'm still struggling. Not as bad as usual,but the struggle lives on. On the days I exercise I always feel better, even if it's just for 20 minutes. Have your boyfriend go on walks with you, tell him to force you to get out despite your objections. I've had friends do this for me and it helps. When my depression is the worst, I find Facebook makes it worse, so I avoid it. So if you're on a bunch of social media sites you may want to lessen or avoid them completely when your depression worsens. I also make to-do lists and I try to complete one or two a day to not feel overwhelmed. Anyway, if you're looking for friends fighting the same battle of depression feel free to add me.0
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Just kidding, may too loud while everyone is sleeping, hahah.
Sleep would probably help me, actually.
Ok. goal to be in bed by 1 AM.0 -
Hey!!
I completely understand where you are coming from. I had been battling anxiety and depression for 12 years. I was hospitalized about 5years ago, was put on 5 different medications, I am now down to 1 medication only. After I was out of the hospital I would just sleep, I went through an episode where I could barely eat. My moods were up and down like a yo yo. I cried constantly wondering how and when I could find myself again. I felt I had lost who I was, I was so confused and struggled to get my *kitten* in gear and live my life like I had before I had gotten ill. Needless to say its been a very long road but I am slowly getting there. As I mentioned I am down to 1 medication only, I am now working almost full time hours (I was off for over two years on a leave of absence) walking my dog almost every day in the trails for an hour and a half or more, I play soccer, hockey and try to go to the gym three times a week. If you would like to add me feel free to....anyone reading this. I would love to be of support and encouragement! You can do this....there is a way for everyone you just need to soul search and find how you can overcome this battle. Best wishes.
You are amazing motivation. This is great support. What you have accomplishes is amazing.
I hope you are able to find happiness ChangeThePath. I get mildly anxious and get in funks at times but nothing like you experience I am guessing. I wish you the best and would say to start small and do your best to believe in yourself. Use the support of your significant other and do active things together.0 -
Hey!
I have depression, anxiety, PTSD, DID, BPD, and BDD.
I tried so long to never go to therapy cos I thought only crazy people go to psychologists but it has really helped me so much!
Another thing which helps is to make lists of things to do on a particular day ie go to the gym, do grocery shopping and after ticking each thing off it makes me feel really good. There is also Mood Gym which is a free online CBT program which helps me tremendously.
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
Good meds can make all the difference as well
Feel free to add me if you would like
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First find someone you completely trust to talk to about everything and anything
For me going and working out was a great stress reliever
Getting involved in a hobby
Thinking about things that make you happy
Do not stay in the house and think about things it will make it worse.
Celebrate every single victory no matter how small it is... Soon those small victories will turn bigger and bigger.
You may even want to consider having a thankful journal where you write things you are thankful for everyday
No matter what keep active with something!!!0 -
Walk. Then, walk. Have you considered taking supplements that are supposed to help? And walk. If you can't walk a mile, then walk a step. And then another. Repeat. Over time, it will help you feel at least somewhat better.
Also-if you have the time, or can make the time, go and volunteer somewhere. Either at your local animal shelter taking their dogs for a alk, or cuddling with the cats. Or volunteer at your local food bank or soup kitchen. Be a bif sister for a child in need. Go to the local senior center or assisted living faciltiy and visit with the old folks. Ask them what it was like when they were younger. Sometimes, getting the focus OFF of self can help you to clear your mind.
It's not easy and I am not meaning to sound like it is, but anything at all you can do to interrupt the cycle of despair will go a ways towards helping you make an improvement.0 -
I try to stay out of this mindset so my advice may not be the most accurate but honestly I really find that it helps to just force yourself to do even a little bit. Get yourself ready, brush your teeth and your hair, get dressed and already you're probably feeling a little better in just preparing yourself to do something.
Then maybe go for a walk. Doesn't have to be a super long one, just something to screw with the monotony of the day and inject a little something through the haze. Bring some music to listen to, admire the trees if you can, people watch a little bit.
When you get home, maybe instead of gunning for the computer or television, go for the book case instead. Pick out a novel to read. Stare outside your window, cuddle with your SO. Even just doing those small things you've accomplished something, and maybe it'll feel a little bit better.
And then do it again. Maybe a couple of days later add makeup to the routine before you go for a walk. Catch a bus and take a tour around your city-maybe you'll even find something new that you've never seen before.
And most of all, ignore the voice in the back of your head thats putting you down throughout it. Do the things that used to make you feel happy, even if you're not really enjoying them anymore. Keep to your daily intake goal and try to do somewhere of at least twenty minutes of physical activity in a week. Smile, even if you don't feel like it, and do it a lot and with your teeth. Slowly but surely it might start helping.
Good luck and all the best.
you are amazing! you should be a therapist.:flowerforyou:0 -
I've struggled with depression for years, never took medication or had therapy for it. Thought about both but haven't actively sought it out.
I'm managing right now with exercise. It's definitely hard at times because when I get into a depressive episode, dragging myself outside or to the gym seems impossible, but I just talk myself into it and go, usually at night, and then I feel just a little bit better when I wake up the next morning. If I didn't work out, I would barely be able to get of bed every day. That serotonin release is like oxygen to me. I find my mood taking a dip if I go without a workout for more than 2 days.
Also, if you have the time this is an interesting read: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2077351/0 -
Seasonal Depression is VERY common this time of year. Our bodies are not getting the same amount of exposure to the sun and this can cause issues in some people. I suffer from this myself and instead of drugs as recommended by my doctor, I go to the tanning booths a few times a week for just 5 min at a time and it does wonders. Exposing yourself produces Vit D in our bodies that does wonders for your morale during the winter months. I asked the question that I'm sure everyone is thinking. What about damaging my skin in the tanning beds. Doc says the benefits out weigh the damage that can be caused and best to do the drug free way and feel happy naturally. Give it a try and FEEL the results yourself.0
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i bought a sun lamp back in September when the days started to get shorter. It has made a tremendous difference in my mood and my enthusiasm to get things done, I am also much happier this winter. I also started to have daily excruciating pain from calcific tendonitis in September. I do feel sorry for myself occasionally but 15 minutes every morning helps. It's also my down time, my coffee time and time to ice my shoulder. Twice I didn't spend 15 minutes only because I didn't think I needed to, and those were bad days.Seasonal Depression is VERY common this time of year. Our bodies are not getting the same amount of exposure to the sun and this can cause issues in some people. I suffer from this myself and instead of drugs as recommended by my doctor, I go to the tanning booths a few times a week for just 5 min at a time and it does wonders. Exposing yourself produces Vit D in our bodies that does wonders for your morale during the winter months. I asked the question that I'm sure everyone is thinking. What about damaging my skin in the tanning beds. Doc says the benefits out weigh the damage that can be caused and best to do the drug free way and feel happy naturally. Give it a try and FEEL the results yourself.
The instructions say that the light suppresses melatonin at the start of the day, resulting in less sluggishness from the darkness and a more natural rhythm.0 -
Is there any particular form of exercise that you really enjoy or are interested in? Regular exercise that your head is really into can be very effective for managing depression and preventing a recurrence or worsening of symptoms.
Above all, don't beat yourself up, and engage in positive self-talk as much as you can. Write reminders for yourself around, things that inspire you or make you feel good, and leave them in places you will see them. Remember it is an ongoing process, and healthy habits will go a long way to keeping it under control. Depression is a real battle, but you have come this far and can continue to fight it. Just get back up more times than it knocks you down.
ETA: I see someone else suggested cognitive-behavioural therapy, and that is something that could be really useful to you if you haven't tried it or have just been managing it with medication to this point. CBT has been shown to be very effective for depression, more so than medication in many cases. If that's an option for you, it's certainly worth investigating if it's right for you.
All the best.0 -
It's so good to see a thread of actual SUPPORT and MOTIVATION! There are so many times when our MFP members will come on the site looking for genuine "I know what you mean" relational support, and there are so many mean people on the site who will just cut them down and say they're just being "honest".
I commend all you wonderful ladies for being helpful and supportive!
Maybe adding these responders to your friends list so you can have a small group of people who care about you as well would be helpful. Sometimes it's just nice to know that you're not alone. We're in this together, and it will get better!0 -
:drinker: In total agreement, it's truly nice to see a thread of support rather than bashing when one is already very down.It's so good to see a thread of actual SUPPORT and MOTIVATION! There are so many times when our MFP members will come on the site looking for genuine "I know what you mean" relational support, and there are so many mean people on the site who will just cut them down and say they're just being "honest".
I commend all you wonderful ladies for being helpful and supportive!
Maybe adding these responders to your friends list so you can have a small group of people who care about you as well would be helpful. Sometimes it's just nice to know that you're not alone. We're in this together, and it will get better!
Hope today has been a better one for each of you, it was for me. The sunshine seems to get me through the worst of it but then there are days....well, those of you that go through this, you understand, sometimes even the sunshine simply isn't enough.
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