Re-engaging After Losing My Mom to Cancer

ks_mommaof5

2012 has been filled with highs and lows for me ... and it is ending just as it began, with a focus on getting healthy.

At the beginning of the year, I kicked myself into gear and shed nearly 40 pounds by making the hard decisions - eating better and moving more. As a mother of five little cherubs, I had gotten my sexy back and truly felt on top of the world.

And then, as life sometimes does, the bottom fell out in late March when my beloved mother was diagnosed with late stage IV lung cancer. I was blessed, honored and humbled to be by her side for her amazing, courageous journey. Through the good and the oh-so-hard days, I kept myself in check and worked hard to be fully present for her as her only local caregiver. Weight loss no longer seemed important, but in the seven months of caring for her I wound up gaining just 5 pounds back.

After we lost mom in the early morning hours on Oct. 31, however, I've packed on a stunning 13 pounds. It's like weight-loss in reverse as I've gained just over a pound per week. I feel awful and have deeply struggled at times to stay sane.

Today I have decided that it's enough. This slide stops here. As sad and powerless as I feel, the path out my current depression is as much about medication and therapy as it is finding my mojo again in the victory of self-improvement. If my mother can survive for seven months after being told she had just weeks to live, I can find my way to a healthy life.

I tracked my food today and exercised a modest amount. It's a small beginning, but the greatest accomplishments often begin with a single decision.

So keep me honest, ladies and gentlemen. And keep sharing your stories. For in your triumphs, I see the opportunity I have to overcome my own obstacles and achieve my goals.

Healthydiner65

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a Mother at any age is a very hard thing to go through. Thank-you for posting this. On Jan 26, 2013 it will be one year since I quit smoking. I don't know if your Mom smoked or not, either way ,your post has helped me. It will take time and you may never quit feeling the loss but you can get back on track. Do it for yourself. I wish you the best!/Cindy