Realising my life is drifting on by

Squible

I'm turning 24 in January (yay party whooo) I've been realising a few things over the past month as I have been in a dark place thats been very hard to get out of.

- 9 years ago I had a traumatic experience....9 years! I release it was 9 years just the other day and I still let it bother me and I feel like I'm wasting my life while I keep dwelling on this one event
- I'm gonna be 24 and I don't have a social life any more I just sit at home with my boyfriend and watch tv, I've never found i t easy to make friends and find it hard to trust people or find that people just don't 'get' me. I do miss going out and having fun and I have already made plans to have more date nights out with my boyfriend just need to follow through with it all.
- I'm still overweight and hate myself and my body, I don't act girly and sometimes I wish I do and that I took my effort into my appearance.

I'm just feeling rather lost and confused at the moment with my life and where it should be heading or where I want it to head. Advice would be useful heh or friend requests

MajorMiteThe2nd

So easy to get caught up, and I have no idea what you went through so I'm not going to judge, but you just have to try and live your life to it's fullest.

cwggraham

not digging into your trauma so here is what i feel might work. #1 TRY to look at glass as half full. you are losing weight, you have a boyfriend, you have goals, 24 is young. #2 figure out your interests. wanting to lose weight, certain TV shows and other things and find people who share these interests with you and try to first connect on internet and then look for areas in your community where people with these commonalities hang out. #3 be your biggest cheerleader. positive self talk in your head, leave positive voice mails you yourself and write positive things on post-its and leave them up around the house or on your bathroom mirror. you have to jump start the positive stuff like being on mfp and run with it! good luck!

FitBeto

1/4 life crisis?

You're young and sexy. Have sex and do stupid things. You aint dying anytime soon. Dont stress about things you cant fix with a time machine, its not where you've been, its where you're going, and who you're with!

PomegranatePriestess

Pop wisdom states: "When something bad happens to you, you have three choices. You can let it define you. You can let it destroy you. Or you can let it strengthen you."

From your description, it sounds like you might be a bit depressed. Talk therapy may help that. Also, don't try to change everything all at once, but rather take one step at a time out of the grey cloud. Make small changes, set some simple goals for yourself, and recognize when you've made progress with them. Start out with making a plan to go do something you don't usually do (visit a museum, or see a show) and make an effort with your appearance on that day. See how it goes, and go from there.

gwenmf

So easy to get caught up, and I have no idea what you went through so I'm not going to judge, but you just have to try and live your life to it's fullest.

Yep, this ^
Time to start living and enjoying~!

Squible

thank you everyone for your wisdom and advice I just need to shake it off and as mentioned do something crazy and fun and enjoy myself. I don't want the bad thing lo define me I want it to strengthen me so I can grow and be a better person

cmriverside

Nine years is a long time to let that one event rule your life.

I agree that you have the choice of how you let it affect you. You and only you can change your mindset. Start a journal on your computer and start writing down all your feelings about this event, and why it has affected you so deeply. You will find an outlet for all your anger and fear by writing.

I also agree that some talk therapy would be very helpful. You have the power within you to heal yourself. We all do.

avir8

First, you are brave for writing this all out and putting it out there. I am around your age and I feel that I also don't have the social life I would like to have, and feel people don't "relate" to me. I don't have a boyfriend and most of my friends are home-bodies, whereas I would like to go out more so it leaves me feeling like I should just stay home too since it takes way too much effort to get everyone to pick a place, get ready, and then fight off losers who think that just becuase I'm there at a club I want them.
Second, it sounds like you don't have someone to talk to about you trauma, and help you overcome it and that's why you keep dwelling on it. Maybe it is a 1/4life crisis but just know that for now look for a distraction, find a fun run or 5k to train for so that way you are occupying your time, training and getting fit. Hope you feel better :happy:

grammysboy

You need to put things in perspective. I've got 30 years on you and I can assure you over your next 30 years you will see, hear, do, experience and live so many things that make the living worthwhile. You're in prime "baby time." Look at all the women on this site with kids and read what they say about how wonderful that experience is.

I was at a place six months ago where I just didn't care about my weight anymore and was eating anything and everything I could get my hands on. Having grandchildren changes your view BIG TIME! I want to be around for both of my granddaughter's weddings and I want to get to know their kids as well.

As others will tell you, you've got a whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it. Don't be the person 30 years from now who says, "I wish I had taken better care of myself" Go do it!

geekpryncess

You seem a lot like me, we are introverted. Once I realized what my personality type was, it really helped me go a long way with accepting myself for who I am. Instead of fretting over what I did or didn't have, I started trying to work with who I am. I realize and accept that there are times I just will be a homebody and have "no social" life, but I also realize that I crave and have a need to get out too. So I just enjoy the times I stay home and when I start to feel too couped up, I make a priority of planning something to do to get out.

I'm 35 and it's taken me years to figure this all out. It's definitely been a roller coaster of emotion. I've been through some pretty tough stuff and hard times and a few times have been pretty low and depressed. But each time I overcame it and learn to deal with things better.

You are really young, and you have the whole world out there! Everyone has given really good advice and they are all words to live by. There is no special point where you all of a sudden feel "grown up". I still don't feel like a grown up, I have lots of insecurities and doubts a lot of times. I think most people do, they just learn to suppress them and as Pomegranate said you have 3 choices...I try to become stronger and push through it. My current big regret is realizing here I am, 35, and been whining about my weight and size for my entire adult life...17 years! Why and what is stopping me from doing anything about it?? NOTHING!! Nothing but myself. So, I resolved to stop doing that For the first time in 17 years though, I feel like...actually I KNOW that it is not just some wish that I'll never get...I now KNOW that I will be thin, and it will happen within the year. Just KNOWING that has made all the difference!!

Really, life is a mental game. It's up to us how we play it. I've done the "woe is me, life sucks" game, and didn't like it. Life is too short!

Squible

Thank you again to everyone who responded I just need to work on stop worrying and get on with life and only worry about the big things and not the little things.

need to save everyones responses so I can look back on them on my low days.

Thank you all again and have a great Christmas!