Self sabotage..

I was doing really well for a while.. Even made it to the gym all 5 days of thanksgiving weekend. Made it thru without gaining an ounce. And then, voila.. Haven't been going to the gym ( I work 4 12 hour days that leave me mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted). That leaves 3 days to work out. One week my son was home sick and two consecutive weeks I was. I've been eating crap. I have eaters remorse, I eat and then fell guilty and vow to not do it again. I'm still checking in everyday on Mfp, but I'm not logging my food. I know I am self sabotaging myself, I am making the bad food choices. No one else is forcing me to yet I can't stop. Does anyone else feel this way? What do you do to counteract it? I know what my goals are and I want to meet them.. I just can't seem to stay motivated.

Replies

  • Yeah, I have been there many times before. It's good that you are recognizing what you are doing, thats the first step. Whether it be eating from boredom or more likely eating from stress it can be hard to get away from that sometimes. Sadly it happens now and again. Just collect yourself and start again. I don't know whether or not you may be depriving yourself of certain foods that you love (but are bad for you). Sometimes if i go for an extended period of time without giving myself little cheat days now and again I will go wild and eat a lot of bad foods and then will be remorseful the next day. Take it easy, keep working at it and it gets better.
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
    I see a bunch of EXCUSES in your thread.


    You have to WANT to change your life. Pick yourself up by your boot straps and get moving.

    I work long days 6 days a week, sometimes 7 and travel far as well. I have kids that get sick and all that BLAH BLAH BLAH.

    With that being said, I have faith in you and you can do it.
  • eileenchristine
    eileenchristine Posts: 228 Member
    Maybe you are not ready to lose weight? I know I wasn't for a long time.

    I have been reading that its mostly the food choices that make us gain or lose, so I just log my food and try to make good choices. Since I like to eat a bit more than the 1330 calories they recommend I do a bit of exercise so I can have more like 1450 calories. That number seems to be it for me to be happy.

    Can you make a commitment for the food? Maybe set a reasonable amount of calories like 1600? Once you have been doing the food part and feel confident in that then move onto the exercise part. Sounds like you are pretty active.

    Think about it and make small commitments. Its a journey and not something that has to be accomplished in 4, 5 or 6 months. Heck its probably going to take me a year to lose 60 lbs. and that's ok. I am going in the right direction and am starting to feel better. Ok, so I am not speed climbing that mountain, but I am making progress and that's a victory for me.

    Baby steps.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,419 Member
    Get back on that horse, Missy. Right now, do you hear me?


    Good.
  • crowunruh
    crowunruh Posts: 246 Member
    I would suggest you go back to logging everything you eat no matter what it is or how much of it you eat. I think visually seeing how much I put into my body gets me right back on track. Remember you can always close your diary if you don't want people to see it or if you feel you may not be 100% honest with yourself. Best of luck! I know you can do it!! :flowerforyou:
  • tazzzydevl
    tazzzydevl Posts: 37 Member
    Yes!!!!
  • tazzzydevl
    tazzzydevl Posts: 37 Member
    You are 100% right. I'm making excuses. And it stops now. I needed tea kick in the *kitten*. Thanks!
  • kimmysueneal
    kimmysueneal Posts: 83 Member
    I'm sort of doing the same thing right now. Still working out 6 days a week, but I've let myself start eating whatever I want all over again. It's really difficult to stay on track over the holidays. Set a goal for yourself and reach it. Start small. Cut out one thing (like soda or desserts) for the next few days. Then cut out something else. I plan to crack down on my food intake after the new year. No need to stress over it now.
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
    You are 100% right. I'm making excuses. And it stops now. I needed tea kick in the *kitten*. Thanks!

    Good for you. GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Qskim
    Qskim Posts: 1,145 Member
    As one of your pals...I think you are wonderful and committed! You have had a lot on your plate and it can be distracting. Sometimes I lose the plot for a little while because it all seems too much but also if you are not seeing a regular loss you feel a bit disheartened and also that all eyes are on you and wondering why you aren't losing - so there is self pressure there that can have the opposite effect of losing control. You are a great friend on here tazzy...we all trust you will find your way. Stick to what you were doing and know that by the power of calories in and calories out you WILL lose. Your body can only go in one direction when there is no other choice. I also think that if you feel a pressure to exercise then quite simply you aren't enjoying it enough. I'm not sure whether you have a gym membership and feel guilt if you don't use it? I find people who do this end up doing nothing at all because they feel guilty doing anything other than using that membership. Maybe for a little while you tell yourself it's ok to not do this. It's ok to just walk (weather permitting). It's ok to get a job dome around the house that's been glaring at you. Just keep moving. Use this time to focus on food choice and be active but not necessarily burning. Motivation wanes but never completely leaves - we just have to accept a different, maybe temporary course in order to not lose ALL focus. Day by day for now, just do what u can and trust that it is still work towards your goal.
  • nfrewin
    nfrewin Posts: 73 Member
    Get back on that horse, Missy. Right now, do you hear me?


    Good.

    THIS!!!! :smile:
  • kimsuki
    kimsuki Posts: 1 Member
    In the same boat, my trigger seems to be someone noticing that I've lost weight. Within two days, I'm eating everything in sight. I know that it goes back to couple "starving musician" periods in my life.I'm still logging everything that goes into my gob, the good, the bad and definately ugly. Also read an article to see if this will help me get over this wall. I'm so glad I found this thread, was feeling a bit on my own island kind of thing. Looking forward to interacting with all of you!

    http://www.peertrainer.com/how_to_stop_self_sabotage.aspx
  • brandikliemann
    brandikliemann Posts: 2 Member
    I do this EXACT SAME THING! As soon as I really realize I am losing weight, I start eating everything in sight and my weight creeps back up. It is so hard!
  • Need to Bump this one!
  • lives21
    lives21 Posts: 78 Member
    I was doing this as well until I caught myself! I totally went off track, ate not so good for a couple weeks and then gave in to all my cravings. That night I realized that I was sabotaging myself. I was doing well, eating better, working out regularly and losing weight every week consistently. I've tried several times to lose weight before but was never committed, but I am this time. I decided to get out of my own way so I went to the gym that night, sweated hard and felt amazing.

    What used to help me is that I always logged what I ate even if it was 2,000 calories over my limit. That way I couldn't run away from seeing that I fell down that day. Being so mindful all the time is hard and especially with all the stress it sounds like you are dealing with, we wear down. We're human, we fall down but we can always get back up. Feel free to add me, we all need motivation from friends time to time.
  • Athena125
    Athena125 Posts: 102 Member
    I'm in the same boat. For me it starts with eating out. I start eating in restaurants and it's all down hill. Or I run out of veggies & good foods at home.

    So this week, I'm going back to NO eating out for the rest of February. And I'm going to book 1-2 grocery shopping times into my planner to make sure I have good food on hand. I just got a good protein powder in too, so I think that will help. Also BAD PMS was the kicker...

    Maybe just take a moment to reassess what your trigger was and start from there like I just did.

    I also am realizing that my body is so not used to working out 5-7 hours a week! So it's possible that when I "gave in" to cravings, it may just be that my body just needs some time to catch up with all the changes I'm making. Do you think that could be happening to you?

    So instead of beating yourself up, just consider it part of the learning curve to changing your diet & exercise plan.

    I'm realizing I need to actually eat MORE but healthier stuff. I was so focused on calories for awhile, I wasn't paying as much attention to nutrition.

    Don't feel bad. Don't even think of it as failure or sabotage...more like falling off your bike when you're just learning to ride a two-wheeler!
  • Sheeshy
    Sheeshy Posts: 133
    I think what has helped me the most happened very recently - I logged a really bad day, and just seeing it there, in numbers, what I actually consumed kinda forced me not to ignore it anymore. It sucks to be slapped in the face like that, but I'm the kind of person that needs that sometimes.
  • metacognition
    metacognition Posts: 626 Member
    I self sabotaged tonight and ate 1,300 calories over my goal today. I realized that I was tired, presented with a lot of unhealthy foods at a dinner out and just went to town. I am also afraid of being thin. I'm not really comfortable with my new body yet, and getting so close to goal is sort of scary. My entire life has been defined by being heavy, so maybe by overeating I was dealing with all of these feelings, if that makes any sense.

    Anyway, I followed up my meal by throwing away the rest of the cake that I had (the sugar is a hormonal trigger for me!) and doing an hour of exercise in my living room. In two days, I'll knock out that caloric excess and not gain anything.

    What helps me most is when I screw up, I try to correct it as fast as possible. Tomorrow I'm going to eat extra clean, with more fruits and vegetables than usual. Try to never get to that place where you are comfortable doing nothing. If I take more than a couple of days off from working out, I will begin to feel sluggish and not want to do anything. If I start eating really sugary foods, fruit and healthy sweets will start tasting bland to me.

    Losing weight and keeping it off is always a push / pull challenge. You'll never have a perfect score but as long as you don't give in 100% then your body will improve. I always log every single day, that way I know exactly how far I've gone over and how long it will take to erase.

    The only thing that keeps me on track is my love of healthy foods, and my fear of becoming big again. That fear - remembering what it was like to have a body that couldn't keep up with what I needed - keeps me out of trouble.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    I guess the OP's self sabotage continues since this post, how sad to see people fall of the getting healthier bandwagon.
  • DesertFox15
    DesertFox15 Posts: 23 Member
    Water and fiber.
  • womblesgirl
    womblesgirl Posts: 69 Member
    SNAP Ive been so bad that I have gone up a size :( So this week Ive tried to start a new routine for myself and have been getting up that bit earlier so as to go on the stationary bike for at least 20 mins. I had more or less stopped drinking water and was going for the fizzy drinks instead but Im trying to reach for just the water now when I need a drink, good or bad (so far all bad) most importantly I have been logging what I eat. I think logging everthing down makes you think about things more so I would suggest doing that, Hey if you fancy some support or handing some out lol Id be more than happy to take friend request
  • fihealth
    fihealth Posts: 165 Member
    Reset your calorie goals here on MFP to maintenance and start logging your food again without any pressure on yourself to be under that limit. Do it for one week, just log in every day to mark down what you're eating.

    When you feel ready, try to substitute some junky options with healthier choices. Don't try and be perfect. Still eat junk food. Just not EVERY time. Log everything. Still don't pressure yourself to come under your calories, but if you can try and get close some days, that's wonderful!

    Start doing one nice thing for yourself every day that doesn't involve food to make you feel better. If you're not sure what that could be, start experimenting. Bath, doing your nails, getting a haircut, getting a wax, buying a new book, a nice new blouse, masturbating, doing something artistic.... the more different options you have to draw upon, the better.

    When you're ready, you can start trying to meet your daily calorie settings for weight maintenance. This will allow you to eat really yummy stuff and really healthy stuff within a reasonable balance.

    Then when you're ready to put your health first and commit to losing some weight, set MFP to losing 1/2 or 1 lb per week and do it for three weeks. Set it to maintenance for the fourth week to give yourself a treat and some time to adjust to the lost weight. Or if that's too hard, do one week loss, one week maintenance and keep changing it back and forth so it doesn't feel so arduous.

    You don't have to be black and white about this -- you just have to find a way to take some steps forward without taking more steps backward -- so a few steps back once in awhile is okay and part of the process. Just don't give up, keep moving forward. And sometimes that means finding stasis so you can deal with other challenges.

    Use as many tools as you can to work through your mentality of self sabotage. Support group, therapy... there are lots of resources if you really want to move forward in life. Use them. And don't expect it to be perfect. You're a work in progress and progress is messy. :)

    x
  • roozielynne
    roozielynne Posts: 52 Member
    I self sabotaged last night because emotionally i was upset. (nothing serious just mainly had the blues) I have always been an emotional eater. My planned out cook at home dinner was canceled and i was pouty about it. When Hubbie got home and suggested Taco Bell it sounded divine to me. (at that moment)
    After i ate i cried because i was so disappointed in myself. I had been doing so well with my choices up until then.
    Then i picked myself up off the self pity train and got my act together. I logged in the calories on my counter. I got my workout clothes on and burned off all the excess calories that i had earned on my elliptical and treadmill. I was exhausted and felt horrid after eating the Taco Belll and I documented how upset my stomach felt afterwards. (though i will admit it sure tasted good going down!!! lol) My body has changed in such a short period of healthier eating. I avoided the ice cream that was calling my name and felt better for doing something constructive.
    Point is...make a mistake...its bound to happen once or twice..but its the decisions you make afterwards that really count.

    My mantra:
    Today I:
    Stop wishing,
    Start doing!
  • lives21
    lives21 Posts: 78 Member
    Don't feel bad. Don't even think of it as failure or sabotage...more like falling off your bike when you're just learning to ride a two-wheeler!

    ^
    |
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    I love this mentality. Something I'll definitely try to keep in mind for later!
  • bex0178
    bex0178 Posts: 25 Member
    bump.
  • I HAVE THE SAME THING, IF YOU FIGURE IT OUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW..I WISH YOU LUCK.
  • I ALSO DO THE SAME..SO WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?