Mind says I can heart says no

Rhozelyn
Rhozelyn Posts: 201 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hello. I'm 38 and weigh 186lb . I am 5'7 ft tall. This is the biggest I have been in the last 10 yrs. 10 yrs ago I was 202lb and lost weight on weight watchers. I generally maintained my weight at around 170lb and I was happy-ish as I just couldn't maintain a weight under 168lb. 2 yrs ago my weight started creeping up and last year I embarked on the Dukan diet which reduced my weight to about 172lb then I hit a wall and in 6 months lost nothing! I did the Dukan for 10 months but my health started deteriorating and I knew the diet wasn't sustainable so I came off it and started eating rather poorly I must say... So ended up back at 189 lb! I have been using MFP for about 15 days.... First week was a disaster as I ate almost 2000 calories above my weekly goal... So this week feeling rather terrified at the journey ahead I am now on day 4 of a better trend...
I used to enjoy exercising at the gym but for the last 2 years I wasted a lot of money with a membership I didn't use.... So I quit.
I am really shocked at what my body looks like having taken a video of myself to really get a 360 degree experience. To be honest I am SCARED that I won't lose weight or change my body yet I know that it's possible. When I see the success stories I am terrified that I won't achieve what they have achieved. My body is human and there is nothing special about me so in theory if I do everything I should I should drop some pounds. Maybe having tried so hard on the Dukan has potentiated this fear...
I need support and I want to love myself enough to have the body I ..,.., want ( I was about to write DESERVE.... Then though better of it).... I am 188lb because I deserve it after what I have been doing!
Well if there are people who have this fear of failure please let me know....or if you overcame this fear......thanks for reading this far!

Replies

  • ChristinaR720
    ChristinaR720 Posts: 1,186
    You need to stop being so hard on yourself! You DESERVE to live a healthier life and have the body you want! Starting with MFP is a big step in the right direction, in that you are now holding yourself accountable for everything you eat and the calories you burn. It will help you to look at this journey as a lifestyle change, and not a diet. Don't be afraid to rely on people here to give you the support to keep going. You CAN do this!!!
  • Rhozelyn
    Rhozelyn Posts: 201 Member
    Thank you! I need to fix my head as well as my body
  • BooBerrie77
    BooBerrie77 Posts: 9 Member
    i agree ... nothing productive can come out with you beating yourself up so much

    take baby steps ....and know that the weight just didnt go on overnight, so it will take time to come off ( i struggle horribly with this one myself)

    and hang out on MFP .... just surfing and looking around can keep you from making poorer choices
  • sunnyside1213
    sunnyside1213 Posts: 1,205 Member
    ! Starting with MFP is a big step in the right direction, in that you are now holding yourself accountable for everything you eat and the calories you burn. It will help you to look at this journey as a lifestyle change, and not a diet. Don't be afraid to rely on people here to give you the support to keep going. You CAN do this!!!

    This. Eat clean, give up processed foods and sodas, drink water, get moving. and log, log, log.
  • nhradeuce
    nhradeuce Posts: 168 Member
    You have to get in the right mindset if you are going to make a permanent change. First, slow down. Stop thinking so much. Stop psyching yourself out and worrying about success of failure. For you to get what you want, you have to understand that this is a permanent lifestyle change. A mess up here or there is nothing in the grand scheme of things as long as you stay the course.

    Once you get through that part, the rest is easy. Log your food honestly and don't ever miss anything. Log as soon as or even before you eat so you don't forget or leave something off. Try different types of exercise until you find something you actually enjoy. Don't do something you hate just because it is exercise. There are so many options to choose from, don't settle. You are more likely to exercise if it is something you enjoy.

    As far as the road ahead, you really are not that bad off. You are much younger and smaller than many of the people on this site that have had tremendous success. I am continually in awe of what some of the members here have accomplished just by doing what they had to do. You can do the same. The only thing stopping you is you, so get out of your way and do what you have to do.
  • Rhozelyn
    Rhozelyn Posts: 201 Member
    Thank you all for your responses. The first thing I am going to do is to put away my bathroom scales.... I shall stop weighing myself daily as from the outset it's depressing to see the numbers and sets the theme for the day!

    I shall take it a day at a time and commit to logging and exercising.

    A day at a time

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