Quick or slow to judge

Tiggerrick

I have always wondered why others are so quick to judge. A long time ago, a mentor or mine opened my eyes to how judgement needed to be held in reserve until I had more information. I recently read an article on S.A. on line that stated:

All over the world, it turns out, people judge others on two main qualities: warmth (whether they are friendly and well intentioned) and competence (whether they have the ability to deliver on those intentions).....

When we meet a person, we immediately and often unconsciously assess him or her for both warmth and competence.....

New research is revealing that these split-second judgments are often wrong, however, because they rely on crude stereotypes and other mental shortcuts.

Have you ever stopped to think WHY you feel like you feel about another person you've JUST met (in person or on the web)?

spade117

I don't think about it, but I know I do judge everyone.

Just like everyone else.

Tiggerrick

Yes, we ALL judge. But do you stop to reflect WHY you feel like you feel?

dirtnap63

I would like to comment on your subject matter but based on your profile pic you're not worthy of my response.

JanaCanada

Most of the time, I give people the benefit of the doubt. I believe most folks have good hearts, but no one is perfect. That said, I also lay personal boundaries and I don't let anyone walk all over me, either. I'll be your friend up until you intentionally hurt me, Then watch out.

quirkytizzy

Depends on what I'm judging them for and how it makes me feel. Do I feel uncomfortable because they have odd speaking habits or twitches or whatnot? I'll think about it for a few minutes and try to *kitten* if it's possible they have some kind of disorder and that my initial judgement is unwarranted. If I feel uncomfortable because it's a dark street and I'm all alone and some dude I don't know is coming my way? Don't give a **** why I feel that way, I'm crossing the street.

theCarlton

If you cross the street diagonally in front of me, I'll judge you before you take your next step.

florymonde

I think our propensity to judge is related to our level of self-confidence. Through the years, I find that I am now more able to be confident in my ability to set boundaries, regardless of other people's behavior. So simple things, like talking to a total stranger in the grocery store, are now easy for me, where I didn't have the confidence when I was younger to do something like that, unless I judged that the person was very like me (in age, appearance, gender, whatever). And, usually, when I talk to people in stores, they are friendly and respond. Once in a while someone looks at me weird and walks away, but that doesn't bother me.

There are many situation that still make me nervous, however, so I guess I still have a lot to improve on!

k8blujay2

I try to be slow... But it really depends on my overall mood for the day (ie, if I am already irrated or not over something) or where I am and what I am doing.

If I am in a good mood and things like driving to work hasn't irrated me, I am more prone to be slower to judge first impressions...

madworld1

I agree that we judge heavily on stereotypes. Sometimes we don't like a person because he/she reminds us of someone else. Now that I am older, I try not to be so quick to judge. Most of the time, my first impressions are completely wrong. Occasionally, I will be right. But, most of the time I end up being friends with people I misjudged.

Tiggerrick

I would like to comment on your subject matter but based on your profile pic you're not worthy of my response.

Exactly my point, thank you. I appreciate your time and effort. Point made. Understood. Made me laugh, cry, all sort of other emotions. I am not going to think about my answer before posting anything... Perhaps I will even Google you before responding. Do not allow my lack of feelings for you disturb you in any way. We live in the 'age of technology" where we can research a single subject for days, and you look researchable.

busywaterbending

we all like zebras
just some of us have different ideas about what to do with one when caught

or like how to think about things like this

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/regions/americas/united-states/121104/boy-3-mauled-death-at-pittsburgh-zoo-wild-dogs mother at fault

added picture.

McChubbyruewho

I've been judged a lot by others so I only judge when I see someone being mean for no reason. kinda want to make them see another perspective on their supposed high ground

dsimmons107

I am old enough to know that no matter what your first inclination is it can always be wrong. Always gather as much information as you can be fore rendering judgement. I have a often changed my mind.

dsimmons107

Actually most of friends say they like to hang out with me because they know I will not judge them.

rml_16

I tend to jump to a conclusion quickly, but then try to check myself and take a step back.

A couple years ago, I stopped for gas and then my car wouldn't start. A few guys tried to help while I waited for AAA and none were successful. They had me pretty scared that something really serious was wrong with my car.

Well, these two guys stopped -- young and a little scary-looking. It was a white kid in a wife beater and droopy jeans and a black guy with dreads looking a bit gangster. They were very kind and managed to get my car started where everyone else failed and gave up. I know under different circumstances, I would have just looked at them and thought they were no good. That day definitely taught me a lesson and I think about it a lot.

(FYI, it was just a dead battery.)

athenaheim

I cannot and will not say that I dont judge. But one thing I can say is I try my hardest not to judge.

For example: we got a new night auditor here where I work about two months ago and I judged him. I judged him that he was a back-stabber and did what he could to keep himself out of trouble. Well guess what I was completely wrong. He and I are now wonderful friends and even went to our Christmas party and then a drive afterward last night. The point being we shouldn't judge someone before we know their story.

supertracylynn

Personally, I judge people - facial expressions, tone of voice when talking, body language.

I give people the benefit of the doubt and know I should not.

I also know that I guard myself to a certain extent because I am sure that somehow I will end out being hurt.

ETA:
To answer your question point-blank...
I judge people immediately to attempt to gauge how to interact with them. If they're in a business suit, they're probably not going to be using curse words. Likewise, if I see someone with sagging pants, too much fake jewelry, and mussed hair, it's not likely they're going to be savvy on the latest market trends, or know what a GIUL is.