Something that's bothering me.

kwmarissa

I'm in high school, and ever since I lost weight boys are starting to notice me. I've been having trouble eating and a part of me feels like if I gain weight people in general just won't like me. I know it's stupid to think that way but it's just how I feel. And this boy that was in a few of my classes last year told my sisters boyfriend that he thought I was pretty. And really, that's really sweet of him and i was thankful but then he sent me a message and it read "I haven't seen you in a while, you look good," and I know that he didn't mean anything by it. I really do and maybe I'm just super sensitive but why wasn't I good enough last year? Why is that now that I've dropped the weight people suddenly want to be friends? I should've been enough last year. Now I come off as a complete witch because I don't feel the same way about him. Now I'm "too good"

Am I the only one who feels offended?

Jacwhite22

Attraction is what it is. Heavy people are not as attractive to "most" people. Enjoy the attention and take care of yourself. Find someone you like who likes you as well.

kayduro

Maybe he admires you for your accomplishment? Maybe you stand out from the rest because of your hard work, self control and positive outlook? I know I'd like more of those people in my life.

sissiluv

Because highschool life is a doldrums of surface-based, shallow attraction where hormones are running rampant and kids don't quite know what to do with them yet? Would be my guess anyways.

pastryari

Attraction is what it is. Heavy people are not as attractive to "most" people. Enjoy the attention and take care of yourself. Find someone you like who likes you as well.

This.

illuminaughty576

the people who"ll notcie you now are not worth it at all!

deksgrl

It could be that the boy would like you the next year when he didn't the prior year, even if you hadn't changed one bit. The good thing about high school and the teen years is they are short in the scheme of things. I know it feels like forever to you now. So, you don't like the boy "that way", and nothing says you have to.

My bigger concern is that you are finding it hard to eat because you feel that people won't like you. That way lies madness. So, do you know what your BMR is and your TDEE? This is important because you likely can eat more than you have been without gaining any weight.

carryingon

Just say thanks and find someone that you like!:flowerforyou:

Antlady69

Attraction is what it is. Heavy people are not as attractive to "most" people. Enjoy the attention and take care of yourself. Find someone you like who likes you as well.

This. Unfortunately this is how our society works.

But think about it: don't you react the same way? Who did you find attractive in the past - the good-looking football player or the shy, nondescript, possibly fat nerd with huge glasses? It's how we humans are wired.

AMYJK7110

Maybe he is just more confident in HIMSELF to actually say something to you, instead of trying to go through the sisters boyfriend.....? Maybe he's liked you since last year?

Laces_0ut

being unhealthy/overweight is not attractive in most cases...this is encoded in our DNA. so it stands to reason that the more fit/healthy one becomes the more attractive they become to most people.

Nikki31104

He is a teenage boy. He probably doesn't know what he likes in a female yet. I have a teenage son and he told me that my boyfriend would like me more if I looked like the girls in the magazines. He didn't even think about it before he said it. You only need to worry about how YOU feel. NEVER worry about how others feel about you. You can't change anyone but yourself. If he didn't like you last year because you had a little extra weight on you that is his problem. Don't worry about being skinny worry about being healthy. Make yourself happy first.

grassette

Maybe he just grew up in that year, and is suddenly noticing girls. Don't read stuff into it---it only makes you unhappy. Take it as it comes, with a smile, and know that more flowers will be coming your way because you are reaching that stage of life.

jayche

Attraction is what it is. Heavy people are not as attractive to "most" people. Enjoy the attention and take care of yourself. Find someone you like who likes you as well.

This. Unfortunately this is how our society works.

But think about it: don't you react the same way? Who did you find attractive in the past - the good-looking football player or the shy, nondescript, possibly fat nerd with huge glasses? It's how we humans are wired.

This

neverstray

So, you lose weight to be healthy and feel good, people notice that, and then you question their motives?

Oh brother!

These threads are just so silly. I see this from time to time and can't figure out the psychology.

runzalot81

I always assumed no boy ever liked me in high school. I found out later that I was intensely intimidating *snort* and the subject of several very secret crushes. It was my personality and intensity or whatever. I felt kinda dumpy, plain, and clumsy in high school. But intimidating.

If someone tells you that you look good, you really should respond with "thank you!" No need to be so dramatic.

WaltSeher

Oh please dont judge yourself just cause of what some boy in high school says about you. I remember when I was in high school. Boys think so much differentley than girls do. At that age I was such a perv. I would say anything to be able to hump some girls leg! lMAO!

WaltSeher

I always assumed no boy ever liked me in high school. I found out later that I was intensely intimidating *snort* and the subject of several very secret crushes. It was my personality and intensity or whatever. I felt kinda dumpy, plain, and clumsy in high school. But intimidating.

If someone tells you that you look good, you really should respond with "thank you!" No need to be so dramatic.

OMG! IKR? I talk to alot of people who I went to school with and some of the hottest girls I ever met said they had a crush on me. Back then I thought they were totally out of my league!

betoarango

First of all relax..

Its awesome that you are being sought after by the opposite sex. Enjoy it and don't get resentful about it. Men go out of our way to talk to the attractive girls more than those we do not find attractive, that is just the way it works. Once we get to know them we fall in love with the ones that merit it and dump those that we feel aren't worth a serious relationship in the long run. You cant go through your life wondering if every boy who talks to you would have done so when you were bigger.

Congratulations, you are a success.. People are noticing...Enjoy it.

Capt_Apollo

Sounds so juvenile. What grade are you in? Is he older?

billsica

Sounds so juvenile. What grade are you in? Is he older?

^^ this. Also you are reading to much into this. Boys are dumb and have no idea how to talk to girls. Just accept that he did and live in the present.

LuccyH

So, you lose weight to be healthy and feel good, people notice that, and then you question their motives?

Oh brother!

These threads are just so silly. I see this from time to time and can't figure out the psychology.

^^^True.

sallydurkin

Typically when women are heavy they have a lower sense of self worth and lower confidence, therefore not giving off the most inviting/ welcoming of invitations to others. I know from my personal experiences I don't think I am of much worth to others when I am larger and very depressing and don't think others want to be around me (and a whole lot of other nonsense). But yet now that I've lost much of the weight I am a happier person, I feel more outgoing, I have more self confidence, I feel prettier, I dress better (not so frumpy or black only), I am a different person. Others notice me more than before or I notice others more, I am more friendly and talk to others.
Perhaps it is some of those traits he is seeing more clearly, its not so much the weight loss as the confidence gain that he is noticing.
Just a thought.