Relationship rant

babyblake11
babyblake11 Posts: 1,107 Member
in Motivation and Support
So im an aspirng bodybuilder. ive been in one show and have been into fitness for about two years now. partner doesnt understand a thing. hes gotten better. over tme but he still cnstantly nags me about going to the damn gym and not spendng time wth him. i tell him every time. this is my passion and career, im not sittng on my *kitten* waiting around for you all day, i dont care if its inconvenient to you! this is what makes me happy. is i EVER possible to make him nderstand? hes on off with the gym and always too lazy as too make his own meals and complains about there being `nothng for him to eat` and gets depressed about it. he refuses to make this part of this life, he always accusing me of being selfish and caring nly about what. want to do.damn crappy crap crap... rant over... for now. thanks for listening :)
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Replies

  • kel665
    kel665 Posts: 401 Member
    If you love him, make time for him. The gym will always be there....he may not.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Whoa whoa whoa. You want her to give up on her dreams for a man who DOESN'T support her aspirations, who is too lazy to make his own meals and basically wants her to take care of him like she is his mother.

    Screw that.

    Break up with him or let him know that he needs to really take a good look at his attitude or he's going to lose you.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
    If you love him, make time for him. The gym will always be there....he may not.

    Wrong answer, listen this is not a new thing for you. he needs to know going in that this is your life, he either puts on his big boy pants and deals with it, or hits the bricks, that simple.
  • WorkoutWarrior76
    WorkoutWarrior76 Posts: 179 Member
    Perhaps yall need to get counselign over it and come to a compromise. A marriage isnt worth throwing away for the gym but at the same time you shouldnt have to give up your dream. Marriage is all about compromise. Even if your not married all relationship involves compromise.
  • babyblake11
    babyblake11 Posts: 1,107 Member
    If you love him, make time for him. The gym will always be there....he may not.

    i try to make time. but its never good enough. its like i have to make a sacrifice for it to be worth anything to him.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    I don't really have any insight to add. *Hugs!*
  • WorkoutWarrior76
    WorkoutWarrior76 Posts: 179 Member
    If you love him, make time for him. The gym will always be there....he may not.

    i try to make time. but its never good enough. its like i have to make a sacrifice for it to be worth anything to him.

    It has to be a two way street. Both of you make sacrifices! If he can't do that, if he cant compromise, then he needs to be gone. But love is worth fighting for.
  • shirleygirl910
    shirleygirl910 Posts: 503 Member
    Sorry to say, but he doesn't sound like the one for you. You have to have things in common, and whatever is your passion should be important to him too. What is his passion in life? My husband goes to the gym way more than I do, but we also go 3 times a week together. We talk about what he wants to accomplish and what I want to accomplish. Don't get me wrong, we have differing objectives at the gym, but we are interested and supportive of eachother's goals. (We've been married over 8 years now and still going strong)
  • MiCool90
    MiCool90 Posts: 460 Member
    break up
  • babyblake11
    babyblake11 Posts: 1,107 Member
    we have a daughter together, and ive left him once before for being aggressive and controlling. but now all he does is whine, act jealous, and apparently im cheating on him!
  • WorkoutWarrior76
    WorkoutWarrior76 Posts: 179 Member
    we have a daughter together, and ive left him once before for being aggressive and controlling. but now all he does is whine, act jealous, and apparently im cheating on him!

    A daughter together changes everything. I would try the counseling. There is always two sides to every story but it sounds like he needs to do some growing up.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Either go to counseling or break up and move on with your life. It'll be beneficial for you and probably your daughter too.
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
    Whoa whoa whoa. You want her to give up on her dreams for a man who DOESN'T support her aspirations, who is too lazy to make his own meals and basically wants her to take care of him like she is his mother.

    Screw that.

    Break up with him or let him know that he needs to really take a good look at his attitude or he's going to lose you.

    I agree 100%!
  • Iron_warrior33
    Iron_warrior33 Posts: 45
    So im an aspirng bodybuilder. ive been in one show and have been into fitness for about two years now. partner doesnt understand a thing. hes gotten better. over tme but he still cnstantly nags me about going to the damn gym and not spendng time wth him. i tell him every time. this is my passion and career, im not sittng on my *kitten* waiting around for you all day, i dont care if its inconvenient to you! this is what makes me happy. is i EVER possible to make him nderstand? hes on off with the gym and always too lazy as too make his own meals and complains about there being `nothng for him to eat` and gets depressed about it. he refuses to make this part of this life, he always accusing me of being selfish and caring nly about what. want to do.damn crappy crap crap... rant over... for now. thanks for listening :)
    If he doesn't understand, then dump him. Trust me, like someone said, the gym will ALWAYS be there for you, through any relationship. Before I met my ex, i was 6'1" 220, muscular with 15% bf. She thought I was hot, she loved my abs, bt she hated the time I took away from her to go to the gym. So, I gave up the gym, now here I am 5yrs, 80lbs,and 36%bf later. So, keep the gym, find someone who appreciates you're hard work, and either joins you, or at least understands that it takes time and effort to accomplish your goals, and that you, are your first priority.
  • paijing
    paijing Posts: 184 Member
    What are you doing with this guy? Does being with him actually improve your life? Partners should be supportive of your goals and dreams; if they're not there to encourage you, who will be?

    If he's just a boyfriend, I'd say you should break up with him. You've already tried talking about it with him, and he's not getting any better. Sometimes people outgrow each other. Good for you for striving for your goals and dreams. I'm sorry that he can't keep up.

    If he's your husband, then it's time for him to shape up. If your serious, private conversations aren't bearing any fruit, then counseling is an option. His nagging may seem like a little thing, but it can really wear you down over time (I'm sure you already know this).
  • babyblake11
    babyblake11 Posts: 1,107 Member
    been and dne with counselling, i think ive given him enoug chances. i was happier with just me and blake.
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
    I would suggest counseling too especially since you have a daughter together. If it doesn't help you're better off on your own without a negative person holding you down. You and your daughter deserve better.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
    we have a daughter together, and ive left him once before for being aggressive and controlling. but now all he does is whine, act jealous, and apparently im cheating on him!

    I do not quote Dr.Phil much but this bears repeating. "The only thing worse for a child than being from a broken Home is being in one" I would try counseling since you have a child together but if he is not serious, you need to look out for you.
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
    been and dne with counselling, i think ive given him enoug chances. i was happier with just me and blake.

    You already know what you have to do. Good luck with everything!
  • babyblake11
    babyblake11 Posts: 1,107 Member
    What are you doing with this guy? Does being with him actually improve your life? Partners should be supportive of your goals and dreams; if they're not there to encourage you, who will be?

    If he's just a boyfriend, I'd say you should break up with him. You've already tried talking about it with him, and he's not getting any better. Sometimes people outgrow each other. Good for you for striving for your goals and dreams. I'm sorry that he can't keep up.

    If he's your husband, then it's time for him to shape up. If your serious, private conversations aren't bearing any fruit, then counseling is an option. His nagging may seem like a little thing, but it can really wear you down over time (I'm sure you already know this).
    hes my fiance, not too late.
  • SomeoneSomeplace
    SomeoneSomeplace Posts: 1,094 Member
    Checked your profile and saw you're very young.

    I agree he has some growing up to do and is immature.

    I think the gym important but you also have to prioritize your life. I'm not saying you aren't. But there are other important things as well--friends, family, school, work, etc life is a balancing act.

    You gotta find a way to make time for all the important things. But it sounds like he needs to realize you aren't the only thing in his life.

    I'm not saying you do this but I think it's important not to constantly blow people off to go to the gym. I had a friend who was so addicted to the gym that she'd miss events, and dinners and stuff constantly, and it lead to a lot of trouble for her.
  • Welshie_girl
    Welshie_girl Posts: 107 Member
    My husband was always supportive ... When we were dating and I was about to accept a job he didn't want me to do ( correction officer in a very scrappy jail ) he told me he would support me no matter what. Same went with my writing , then losing weight, and any other ideas that popped into my head.... I truly believe that your partner should support you at least to some point if he knows you're passionate about it . Don't be a victim of a guilt trip. You're not hurting anyone, you're not risking your life.... Tell him to kick rocks.
  • almonds1
    almonds1 Posts: 642 Member
    If you love him, make time for him. The gym will always be there....he may not.

    I don't agree with this at all. Don't let someone hold you back from doing something you enjoy. I dated a girl like that once, needless it didn't last. I am sure there is enough time in the day for him and the gym both.
  • LittleMiss_WillLoseIt
    LittleMiss_WillLoseIt Posts: 1,373 Member
    I agree with counseling first and if that doesn't work then it's time to go separate ways. Yes splitting up when a child is involved is hard (I know this all too well), but staying together just for your daughter will end up not working (in most cases). *hugs* for you. I hope it all works out the best for you and your daughter.
  • C12254
    C12254 Posts: 198
    are you making time for what HE loves to do? you cant expect it to go one way. and if he isnt supportive, and hes lazy, blah blah blah... then why are you with him? wouldnt you want someone who shares your passions and dreams? who would at least try to understand them?
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    been and dne with counselling, i think ive given him enoug chances. i was happier with just me and blake.

    You already know what you have to do. Good luck with everything!

    ^ Yep, what she said. Best of luck!
  • C12254
    C12254 Posts: 198
    If you love him, make time for him. The gym will always be there....he may not.

    i try to make time. but its never good enough. its like i have to make a sacrifice for it to be worth anything to him.
    relationships are give and take. some days we have to sacrifice a little.
  • babyblake11
    babyblake11 Posts: 1,107 Member
    are you making time for what HE loves to do? you cant expect it to go one way. and if he isnt supportive, and hes lazy, blah blah blah... then why are you with him? wouldnt you want someone who shares your passions and dreams? who would at least try to understand them?

    i support and encourage him every day.
    he gives up on everything.
  • Iknewyouweretrouble
    Iknewyouweretrouble Posts: 561 Member
    So what if he doesn't get it? We are each individual and like different things. You just have to learn mutually how to meet each others needs while also remaining independent. My gosh no wonder 50% divorce rate.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    So what if he doesn't get it? We are each individual and like different things. You just have to learn mutually how to meet each others needs while also remaining independent. My gosh no wonder 50% divorce rate.

    Sorry, but a guy that won't get off his butt to make his own dinner now and again and whines like a baby gets booted to the curb in my book.

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