Today i'm sad, holding in the tears as much as possible. :(

meaghan2008

Here's the story, when I was 17 , a freshman in college I came out to my parents. Meaning that I told them that I was a lesbian around this same time of year.Ever since I have came out to her , our relationship has gone way down hill, too the point were we don't even have conversation, it's just hi and bye how are you talk. I'm 22 now, and nothing has changed. That's my mother, and it really hurts. I've tried to talk to her, but nothing seems to help the relationship get better, so I just backed off and let her have her space and im allowing her to come to me. I was out christmas shopping with some friends and they were buying gifts for their family and loved ones and my friend asked me " what are you getting you mom for christmas?" I had to fake it and say , " I don't know what she wants, maybe a necklace". , knowing that I was lying, I didn't want to break down in the middle of the store and look like a punk when all spirits are high and merry.

I just wish that there was something I could do to allow her to understand that I'm still her little happy, bubbly, jolly, laughing, sweetest nina she knew before I came out, I just like women. I feel as though I have no support, I just do things by myself. & I would like to have that support.

:frown: :frown: :frown: :brokenheart: :sad:

angeliqueann

girl don't worry. she will come around. If you had a great relationship with your mother before she found that out, most likely she will. for now, just keep doing what you are doing and talk to her as regular as possible. Just be there. As long as you did your part, Your mother should see that you are still the same person. =D

BamsieEkhaya

aww bubbie...I don't really know what to say but keep being yourself and just let her get used to it, but bless you (sorry *kitten* at advice - I know)

StephCoff1969

Sweetie, I know that right now it seems impossible, but whatever happens you need to remember one thing.. You are beautiful as you are and need to just give her time.. I don't know if she will change her mind or not, but choose to be happy.. Does this make sense???

My youngest daughter came out about a year ago and her older sister and father refuse to have anything to do with her, but as her mother I can say that for me as long as she is happy that is all I care about..

((HUGS))

angelique_redhead

*HUGS* I'm so sorry. I hope she changes her attitude but I've known some folks whose parents didn't. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

iamkarent

I am sorry to hear that. My daughter, also 17, actually came out this year too. To me...it just means she can feel free to talk to me more openly now..it doesn't change change my feelings for her or our relationship whatsoever...

Hopefully soon your mom will realize what she is losing by not accepting you for who you are ..HUGS

yourenotmine

Aww I'm sorry. I wish no one ever had to go through this. *hugs*

Theresafinallygetsitright

I am sorry for your sadness . Sometimes people just need time to grieve what they feel like they are losing before they can embrace what they have. Sad but true. Just keep being who you are and hopefully, she will learn to see that nothing about who you truly are is defined by who you love.

TopazCarey

It takes some people longer than others to come to terms with things of that nature. I think you're doing the right thing by letting her come to terms with it in her own time. In time she'll realize that you're still her daughter and that sexuality doesn't change the person. I always say love is unconditional and if real love was ever there, nothing, especially something like sexuality, can erase it.

I suggest maybe you get her something for Christmas. I think it'll be a good gesture to show that you still love and care for her and that she should feel the same.

BinaryPulsar

Hugs from me too!!

cmcmommy

Sad, I have a brother who is gay and My mother & nobody in the family has ever turned away from him. He turned away from our family, I think he was ashamed of this lifestyle or the fact that we are catholic and thought we would judge him. As a mother now I could not ever think about not loving my child regardless of what he chooses.

MaraDiaz

I feel so bad for you, and it must be frustrating that there is nothing you can do to change the situation. It's all on your mom. I hope she grows up soon! *Hugs*

kimosabe1

perhaps it would be a good idea to purchase mother and daughter photos. After the photo session u could explain the feelings u are having. Just make it clear that there is nothing in her power she can do about that portion but that u want a closer relationship with a nonjudgmental mother.

marthathebear

Through the years I've come to understand much more about relationships being a wife of 30+ years, a mother for 25 years and on this earth for 50+ years. My daughter went to school with several children that were her friends and in the teenage years they came out. While she is straight herself and it probably bothered her at first she has remained friends with most of those people. I am proud of her for that and I learned so much from it. Your mother is facing the fact that all her dreams for you turned out differently than she planned and that hurts her. I'm sure she would choose a different life for you but it is not her life. She will come around but it may take a while. I agree with the others, keep trying. This will show her that you are the same person you've always been just happier now that there are no secrets between you. You will have to go on with your life and what makes you happy. Life is too short to try to be someone you are not. Let your friends and others know what is going on. They can help ease the pain until she comes around. I will pray it won't take her too long to realize her daughter is the most precious thing in the world, gay or straight.

JellyBeans0

i think you need to talk with her more about it
i'm sure she wants you to be happy
you'll be happy if you act like yourself not like what she wants you to be

she needs to get used to it ..if not (from the way i see it ) it is her problem
cheer up
it is Xmas time

kobiemom

Parents are afraid for their gay children. Things were worse when your mom was your age. She's worried about discrimination, ignorance against you and all sorts of potential problems. Also, parents have dreams for their children from the time they find out about the pregnancy. Reality isn't matching up. She's in withdrawl. It's not necessarily against you. She has a lot to process. Look at how much trouble Cher has talking about Chaz and she's very cool. Keep being you. Mom will come around. In the meantime, seek out support from other sources, including moms of friends. My kids have gay friends and I love them to pieces.

jamk1446

I just wish that there was something I could do to allow her to understand that I'm still her little happy, bubbly, jolly, laughing, sweetest nina she knew before I came out, I just like women. I feel as though I have no support, I just do things by myself. & I would like to have that support.

You might consider sending your mother a letter or a card with a note elaborating these feelings right here. She may feel like she doesn't know you anymore. It might not change anything but it's possible this could help break the ice.

I'm sorry you are feeling alone at Christmas, rejecting is painful. I hope you and your mother can find your way to a relationship again.

autumnwater

I'm sorry Hope you feel better.

destack

First of all, thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share this with the community on here.

This situation is so, so hard, and I wish people didn't have to go through it. Ultimately, though, I think that giving her space and letting her come to you is the best approach. The only thing you can do is provide her with reminders that you haven't changed, and that you still love her and want to be close to her. Reinforce that you are a happy, successful person, independent of your sexual orientation, and that whoever you love will only make you happy- she might need time to wrap her head around it, but ultimately every parent wants their child to be happy, and, I think, to be a part of their child's life.

I'm proud of you for staying strong and true to yourself. Even though it's a struggle, know that you have done nothing wrong, and that in time your mom will hopefully come to a new understanding of all the pieces that make up who you are, and will thank you for being open with her.

jzammetti

I never understood how a parent can treat a child like that and I am sorry you have to deal with that pain. The older generation has trouble with this sort of stuff and hopefully she will get over it at some point and reconnect with you; but there is nothing you can do to force her. So, I think you should try your best to forgive her, acccept her limitations for now, and love her anyway (because, let's face it, we are only in control of ourselves). Eventually, I hope, she will come around.

Go buy her a gift - one that involves some thought - and love her anyway. :happy: :flowerforyou:

Best of luck to you!

valeriebpdx

I'm sorry you are feeling rejected by the people who are supposed to be there for you. I am proud of you for showing the world who you are. I hope your folks come around soon, and that you have others who care about and support you in the meantime. My only advice is that once you get out of the mall, stop trying to hold it in. I find that when I am trying to keep it together I can sniffle and fight tears all day, but once I really let myself howl (be theatrical), I can only cry like that for about a minute and a half. The sad things are still sad, but you can move on after that. Hope you will be with some fun friends for the holidays. Hugs to you.